Posts Tagged With: planning

fairy pools, standing stones, and (perhaps even) a monster

Our friends Mike and Josie are celebrating twenty five years of marriage this spring. They’ve decided to celebrate with a trip to Scotland. They invited us to come along.
Um, yes please!
We’re making our lists (and you know I’m checking them twice) of all the things we’re hoping to do.
Some are touristy, some not so much.
I will say we changed the dates of the trip for an opportunity to ride the ‘Harry Potter’ train, so there are definitely some touristy things.
Mike is an Outlander fan, has read all the books, and is hankering a trip to Inverness to find some standing stones.
I want to go to the fairy pools and fairy glen at Isle of Skye. (and about eleventy-million things in Edinburgh)
Josie is interested in all things literary, and perhaps Skara Brae.
The only thing YBW said so far is he’s hoping to catch a glimpse of Nessie in her lake. Of course, that means he’s game to do pretty much everything.
We plan to drive some of the (north coast) 500.
I’m hoping for gorgeous grave yards and cemeteries.
Josie and I are interested in finding good quality Scottish cashmere.
We’ve chosen dates.
We’ve booked flights.
I sent an email Monday afternoon with miles of links to explore.
We’re meeting tomorrow for brunch to continue planning.

May is whiskey month, an unexpected a bonus.
I’m sharing this with all y’all and asking for assistance.
If you’ve been to Scotland, or otherwise know it well, and have tips, ideas, suggestions, recommendations, warnings, etc. please let me know so we can add them to the list.
Thanks, y’all!

Categories: travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

in case you’re wondering

Thing 2’s covid results are not yet back.
She’s having moments of feeling puny, but not super sick.
There is some general malaise in the household, but they’re still eating healthy food and enjoying each other’s company.

I got this photo Tuesday afternoon.

I got a hilarious little video of Housemate A full on squealing with joy at the big ass box of Twizzlers I sent for him.

My worrying is at a minimum(ish). I mean, I’ve already accepted that she’s sick.
Though I do keep seeing things about the most random symptoms, and surprising lack of fever, as well as possible lasting effects. That gives me pause. But I know I can’t protect her, all I can do is love her. She’s got to get through this the best way she can.

In other news:
Less than two weeks and Thing 1’s family will be here full time!

The county proposed four plans for starting school. None of them are ideal. Some of them are doable. Now we wait…
I worry about how this virus is actually impacting children.
How it will impact adults at school.
I’m sure I’ll be called in to sub, but should I go? What will I bring home to Baby K?
I worry for kids. I worry for parents. I worry for teachers.

LA wrote about becoming friends with her planner again. I’m still firmly in the land of ‘absolute worst purchase of 2019’. But, it can’t hurt to consider a different viewpoint. I can write anything I’m planning in my planner.
For example:
Thing 2’s Birthday Saturday. (jk, it’s already in there)
Watch Hamilton…again.
Delivery of new knives.
Buy produce.
Choose more tunes for Tuesday.
Clean the kitchen…again.
Finish season four of Drunk History.
Porchlife with the Garcia’s up the street (appropriately social distanced, of course).
Buy more wine…again.
Watch Kipo with Thing G.
Pick up prepaid books at Bards Alley.
Take a nap.
Finish reading Shakespeare for Squirrels.
Put gas in the car.
Celebrate Nora’s birthday.
Call Sally.
Renew Southern Living.
Go to GA to get chubby dog and granddaughter.

Look at me making it work!
Thanks for the inspiration, LA.
I’ll keep y’all posted on Thing 2.

Now I’m going to switch the laundry and probably clean the kitchen.
How thrilling!

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

so far, so good, what’s next?

Now, you know I’m a planner.
I like lists and calendars and color coding by subject.
So, once I recognized what I can and cannot change, I broke it down further.

I ask loads of questions.
I know that.
Y’all know that.
My family and friends know that.
But what’s different about this process is that I answered my own questions.

I asked and answered questions to come up with a plan.
I used the same system of dividing the page in my big sketch book so I could see it all together.

The first question is:
What frustrates me?

*stagnation
(no real growth, no movement, no real participation in life or household, etc.)
*lack of effort to create growth or movement
*caring about (these things)
*wondering if it will ever change

OK, now what do I do about it?

How to stop being frustrated?

*accept that these are the choices YBW and Thing G are making
*accept that nothing I do will change their choices
*focus on myself and my choices
*accept that this is the situation I’m in…until…?

So far, so good. What’s next?

I know it’s hard to read.

Ways to feel more comfortable.

*let go of wife and ‘mom’ guilt
*stop apologizing for choosing growth
*accept as much as possible
*pay attention to myself and where my power is
*be kind and courageous
*stop judging
*accept limitations (cannot change situation, only how I function in it)

Ways to regroup if I’m triggered.
(frustrated)

*immediately stop and breathe
*quickly assess if it’s something I can change (if not – do my best to accept and let it go, if so – make the appropriate change)
*accept that this is my work and I may not ever be met with the same
*remove myself gently from the situation
*tap into vast support network without engaging in ‘shit talk’

OK, so in the meantime I have a plan.
But…

How to remain sane in the long game?

*accept this is my work
*accept change may never come
*be peaceful in the knowledge I did all I could do the best way I could
*love

I don’t know how or even if the situation will change.
I do know that if I can do these things I will feel better. I will make the relationship with my husband more positive.
Maybe that’s all I can do?
While I know I have magic down deep in me, I only have power over myself.
If these changes I’m making serve only to keep me from being frustrated, angry, and resentful in an unchanging situation, at least I’m content in the knowledge I am going at this in a mindful and loving way.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

collecting my reflections

In the last month I’ve had a house full of daughters, a son-in-law, and one sweet baby.
Organized and hosted the most wonderful party to celebrate Baby K.

welcome to the Bubbly & Baby to celebrate Baby K

Who’s that baby?
a guessing game

yummies and goodies

a monogrammed cake was one of my ‘must haves’

*all photos credited to Thing 2 and used with permission*

I spent precious time with my girls.
We shopped. Visited with friends. Attended a party to celebrate a friend’s daughter going away to college.

Yesterday, I made the long journey home from GA where I left Thing 1 and Baby K at home. (Husband N was here for two weeks and returned home empty handed, while Thing 1 and Baby K stayed here with us for another two weeks.)

Now here I am, daughter-less and baby-less, which I don’t love in the least.
But, the truth of the matter is I’m content to be me.

I didn’t write in my journal or for this blog in all that time.
I was so busy living in the moment, I didn’t take the time for reflections.
My reflections are shooting out all over the place and I’m racing to collect them.
I need a bit of time with my journal for sure.

I’ve finished the first half of my thesis paper. I’m meeting with the course adviser this afternoon to create a plan to proceed with the second half. My plan is to submit the finished paper by the end of the month. I’ll be OK if it comes back for revision because my term doesn’t end until September 30th. That gives me another whole month to make sure all I’ve dotted all the i(s) and crossed all the t(s). And then I’m finished.

I’m a bit overwhelmed even thinking about all the time that will free up.
How will I spend it?
I don’t want to waste any more time.
I mean, I’ll waste some time, cause I like to watch the TV occasionally, you know?
I want to use my time successfully.
For the betterment of me.
For my own personal pleasure.

I’ll get about that soon enough, right now I’m going to take a moment to miss little nugget of deliciousness.

OK, baby fix, check.
Time to move on to collecting my reflections and planning how to spend my time.
I’ve got this!

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

back to normal but not on autopilot

YBW and I finished putting away Christmas stuff today.
Everything but the trees was packed up during the week and today I undecorated, debowed, and deribboned the upstairs trees while he sorted through ornaments. The tree downstairs is the only one not prelit so I quickly removed the lights while he carried the trees and box of ornaments down.
Then we began the loading of the closet.
Christmas in the very back, Autumn and Halloween next then the luggage all went back into the closet under the stairs.
Y’all is there anything more satisfying than a well packed storage closet? I think not.

Photos and art returned to the walls, photos and tchotchkes returned to the tops of furniture. And just like that, the house, and life gets ‘back to normal’.
I did leave one Baby Jesus out so I can acknowledge Epiphany tomorrow, but that’s easy because it doesn’t go with the Christmas stuff anyway.

Then YBW went to tidy his office and I patched all the holes on the walls of Thing G’s old room. I’m going to sand, wash down the walls and start painting. It’s time to get that checked off my list.

We’ve sorted out holiday things to ask our kids about, I have some old nativities and ornaments I want the girls to take a look at. YBW has ornaments for the boys to go through. Well, mostly Thing C, since Thing G is still at home.

We’ve got stuff set aside to take to Thing 1 and Husband N’s later this month.
A crib mattress from a friend who was happy it’s going to a home that needs it. Other random baby supplies, and some things I’ve bought because our granddaughter might need them. (mostly books)

I’m thriving on the planning and organization.
I’ve starting the building of my planning calendars. Yes, that’s plural. I have one I keep on my desk, and one that lives in my car. I have decided it’s the best course of action for me in the coming year.
January is slammed. I have an appointment every day next week but Friday. And one of those is me being brave and going all by myself to my very first yoga class. I’m going to try our three different studios to find the best fit, and commit from there. I’ve been saying I want to start yoga classes for over a year now. After a bit of research and advice I pulled the trigger and registered for a class. I even found a super cute robins egg blue yoga mat that’s got terry cloth on one side. We’ll see how that goes!

After taking a break from my coursework, I’m picking that back up in January. I’ll be writing lesson plans and observations and checking that off my list too.

I’m working out how to build a schedule that makes the most sense. That allows me a proper balance of work and open time. I have a stack of books in my TBR shelf that aren’t going to read themselves, you know. I have time in the mornings before school and in the afternoons with which I can use more wisely.
My goal is to create a plan that successfully allows me time to do what must be done without overwhelming me, as well as to do what I’d like without me wasting precious time.
Stay tuned…

Organizing my environment is so much simpler than organizing my time.
Do y’all find that or is it just me?
I don’t have little kids at home anymore, I feel like it should be easier. It doesn’t seem to be. Though perhaps then it was that I was planning for others so I didn’t have to be mindful about how I spent my time. I did what needed to be done for the girls, the house, etc.
Now I’m pretty much free as the breeze and I feel much more pressure regarding the way I spend my days.

LA at Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 wrote this post about her wintertime goals. I commented, to which she replied, “I have to make fun a goal almost. It’s so easy to get tied up in the day to day.”
That struck a chord in me.
Have to make fun a goal. (almost)
I totally get it.
It’s so easy to let life get in the way of active living. Functioning on autopilot in the day to day. I want to be actively engaged in myself and the world while doing the everyday things that must be done. Disengaging my autopilot and making more mindful choices about how I spend my time and energy.

Building a schedule will be a good jumping off point for me. I can adhere to or adapt as needed to ‘get stuff done’ and ‘make fun a goal’. Once I have a preliminary plan in place I can move from there. I can incorporate any and every thing my little heart desires. As long as I’m being mindful, I can’t really go wrong.
I mean, sure, there will be times I feel overwhelmed or lazy, times I’ve bit off more than I can safely chew, and times when I’m itching for a new project. But by simply paying attention, I’ll figure it out and continue moving forward.

I want to be completely finished with course work this summer. Once that monkey’s off my back, I’ll have more time to do new and different things.
And that’s important because Baby K will be here and I’ll want to oodgey goodgey over her every chance I get!

Have a plan.
Make a schedule.
Kick myself into gear.
I got this!

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

the difference between planning life and living life

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
This quote is from Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) a song by John Lennon. Turns out it was originally from an article written for Reader’s Digest by a guy called Allen Saunders.
Only that’s not really the point I making.

My point is that even the best life plans can become waylaid by simply living your life.

As I get back into the routine of my life after a death, and birthdays and as we anticipate Thing G’s graduation and a house full of people, I know I’ll plan. I know I’ll make lists, and organize time, and tasks, and school assignments.
I’ll create my summer schedule. But I also know I’ll drop everything to go do something fun. Or I’ll spend more porch life time on some days than on others. I know important things will pop up.

All my planning, and list making, and organization will aid me in accomplishing what I set out to do, but I’ll have to be flexible. Because sometimes life is what’s happening all around and in between plans and lists.
As I grow and mature as a human, (refusing to put away laundry notwithstanding) I’m learning to accept that things don’t always go my way. (After my childhood, you’d think I’d already mastered that knowledge, but that’s another whole post.)
Things don’t always go my way. But sometimes they go an even better way. That’s why I have to accept that can only execute a portion of what I plan. Because as mad as my planning skills are, the possibility of being surprised by life can be a lovely experience!

Life happens whether or not you’ve penciled it into your book. And for an uptight control freak list lady like me, that’s not always the most comfortable way to function. (Understatement much?)
I’ll continue to plan. I’ll accept what happens, planned or not.
This is my journey through life, if I’m so busy worrying about planning and not being present for what happens, it’s not going to be any good at all.

You know what Ferris said:

Ferris knows what’s up. He had the best skive day in the history of all skive days!

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , | 6 Comments

dog and pony show

I’ve been known to say: Weddings are nothing more than a dog and pony show. But I’m all about the most perfect ones for my daughters.
Well as it turns out I’m planning one for myself and YBW…
It doesn’t feel like a dog and pony show. Perhaps that’s because we’re going low key. Less than sixty people, just our children as attendants. Teeny church we’ll pack to near full even with so few. Intimate reception space. Good wine, dearest friends and family, s’mores bar…

I’m torn between that feeling of excited anticipation and the desire for it all to just be over.
I feel exhausted and overwhelmed from planning.
I am so joyful that our most beloved people will come together to celebrate with us.

Later this morning, Thing 2 and I will have our final dress fittings, drop off extension cords, the napkins and wine charms and response book to the decorator. I think these are the last errands to run. At least I hope they are. I need to do a quick tidy before Thing 1 and the guys arrive tomorrow. But other than that I want to lie low. Do my best to relax so I can shake the exhaustion and feeling of being overwhelmed.

I went to a meeting about a job yesterday. I was leery of scheduling it for this week, my fear of not having enough time gripped me like a noose. But I took a big breath and went. I’m glad I did, because I believe it was successful and I’ll be getting an offer while I’m honeymooning.
It was weird to do something non-wedding related.
My head was bad yesterday, but I was able to dazzle at the meeting.
Thing 2 and I camped out on the sofa yesterday afternoon when we got home from errands after the interview and watched our favorite Halloween movie, Hocus Pocus.

I’m tired of waiting. I’m ready for Saturday. I couldn’t have said that last week, there was still too much to do. I don’t want to rush this week along, but I’m at that place where I’ve spent so much time working on the wedding that now that I’ve nothing to do I’m almost more anxious.

I have a great deal of head pain which removes sleep from the equation but I’m going to try and go back to bed for a few hours and see if I can start again.

I have planned and planned and coordinated until I can’t anymore but I haven’t really focused on how lovely it will be to stand in front of God and the people I love most and join my life to YBW’s.
Just writing that sentence helped.
The idea of the love of the people in that room to support and bless us brings me great hope. Saying the words I wrote just for him, being prayed over, and sealing it all with a kiss really makes it feel worth the anxiety.

If it is a dog and pony show, well it’s our dog and pony show and that’s all that matters.

Categories: wedding | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

something shiny with your name on it

I ordered the wedding favors today.
Wine charms. Little silver discs stamped with each guest’s name.
I ordered them via Etsy from a girl in Kansas called Coco. I’m not sure why I love that so much. But it really tickles me.
I even ordered one for each of the children. Now, the little kids can’t drink wine, but everybody loves something shiny with their name on it. I’d love to see my little D tie his to his bike as a name plate…must remember to suggest that to his dad.

I have all the mad lib responses back except for one of Ben’s frat brothers who apparently lost the invitation, Sundance and her family, and my sister-in-law and her family.
Sundance knows I’m shaking my head at her, but I also know they’ll be there. Sundance has known YBW since they were in elementary school and Girlie Thing is reading at the wedding.
My sister-in-law and her family aren’t going to be able to make it. She and I have already talked about that. I am sad, but I understand. It’s about doing what’s right for your family, and right now them coming here for a weekend in October isn’t going to work. I told her that our love was solid and it was fine if they didn’t come. I do have a bit of sadness, but I understand how hard it is to make everything work for your family.
Thing 2 and Boyfriend D’s responses finally arrived early this week which made me SO happy!

I’ve given the final count to both the caterer and the event coordinator and the three of us will meet at the winery next week to make sure we’re well sorted.

There’s a laundry list of things that still need to be completed.
I’ve got time.
Sort of…next week is October. I better get a move on.

Categories: wedding | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

Stories I've Never Told...

(...and some I have)

Starting Over

Because there's never enough time to do it right the first time but there's always enough time to do it over

A Simpler Way

A Simpler Way to Finance

Faith + Gratitude = Peace + Hope

When I was young my dad would always say, "Crystal, you can choose your attitude." One day I chose to believe him.

debsdespatches.wordpress.com/

Reader, Writer, Photographer, Random Scribbler

Snippets of SnapDragon

Welcome to my cauldron of creative musings, yo.

Encouragement for you!!

Need some encouragement--read this!!

To Write or not to Write and What to Write

#shortstories #thoughts #reflections

Thinker Boy: Blog & Art

by Troy Headrick

Invisibly Me

Live A Visible Life Whatever Your Health

A Teacher's Reflections

Thirty Years of Wonder

Life and Random Thinking

An old dog CAN blog

charles french words reading and writing

An exploration of writing and reading

Sawblades In Your Walkman

effervescing with muchness

History Tech

History, technology, and probably some other stuff

Claudette Labriola

Words, mostly

walkingtheclouds

where the clouds may lead

Meditations in Motion

Running and life: thoughts from a runner who has been around the block

Bitchin’ in the Kitchen

..because the thoughts that fall, kicking and screaming from my head need a safe place to land..

Finding French Charming

Finding True Love.. Even After Forty

Thought Box

Sweet...Bitter...Happy...Sad...All thoughts trapped in a Box...

M.A. Lossl

An author's life, books, and historical research

Wise & Shine

A community for writers & readers

Water for Camels

Encouragement and Development for Social Workers and Those with a Mission of Helping Others

Living In the Sweet Spot

"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present." Jan Glidewell

Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50

Navigating the second half of my life

%d bloggers like this: