Posts Tagged With: wedding planning

dog and pony show

I’ve been known to say: Weddings are nothing more than a dog and pony show. But I’m all about the most perfect ones for my daughters.
Well as it turns out I’m planning one for myself and YBW…
It doesn’t feel like a dog and pony show. Perhaps that’s because we’re going low key. Less than sixty people, just our children as attendants. Teeny church we’ll pack to near full even with so few. Intimate reception space. Good wine, dearest friends and family, s’mores bar…

I’m torn between that feeling of excited anticipation and the desire for it all to just be over.
I feel exhausted and overwhelmed from planning.
I am so joyful that our most beloved people will come together to celebrate with us.

Later this morning, Thing 2 and I will have our final dress fittings, drop off extension cords, the napkins and wine charms and response book to the decorator. I think these are the last errands to run. At least I hope they are. I need to do a quick tidy before Thing 1 and the guys arrive tomorrow. But other than that I want to lie low. Do my best to relax so I can shake the exhaustion and feeling of being overwhelmed.

I went to a meeting about a job yesterday. I was leery of scheduling it for this week, my fear of not having enough time gripped me like a noose. But I took a big breath and went. I’m glad I did, because I believe it was successful and I’ll be getting an offer while I’m honeymooning.
It was weird to do something non-wedding related.
My head was bad yesterday, but I was able to dazzle at the meeting.
Thing 2 and I camped out on the sofa yesterday afternoon when we got home from errands after the interview and watched our favorite Halloween movie, Hocus Pocus.

I’m tired of waiting. I’m ready for Saturday. I couldn’t have said that last week, there was still too much to do. I don’t want to rush this week along, but I’m at that place where I’ve spent so much time working on the wedding that now that I’ve nothing to do I’m almost more anxious.

I have a great deal of head pain which removes sleep from the equation but I’m going to try and go back to bed for a few hours and see if I can start again.

I have planned and planned and coordinated until I can’t anymore but I haven’t really focused on how lovely it will be to stand in front of God and the people I love most and join my life to YBW’s.
Just writing that sentence helped.
The idea of the love of the people in that room to support and bless us brings me great hope. Saying the words I wrote just for him, being prayed over, and sealing it all with a kiss really makes it feel worth the anxiety.

If it is a dog and pony show, well it’s our dog and pony show and that’s all that matters.

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something shiny with your name on it

I ordered the wedding favors today.
Wine charms. Little silver discs stamped with each guest’s name.
I ordered them via Etsy from a girl in Kansas called Coco. I’m not sure why I love that so much. But it really tickles me.
I even ordered one for each of the children. Now, the little kids can’t drink wine, but everybody loves something shiny with their name on it. I’d love to see my little D tie his to his bike as a name plate…must remember to suggest that to his dad.

I have all the mad lib responses back except for one of Ben’s frat brothers who apparently lost the invitation, Sundance and her family, and my sister-in-law and her family.
Sundance knows I’m shaking my head at her, but I also know they’ll be there. Sundance has known YBW since they were in elementary school and Girlie Thing is reading at the wedding.
My sister-in-law and her family aren’t going to be able to make it. She and I have already talked about that. I am sad, but I understand. It’s about doing what’s right for your family, and right now them coming here for a weekend in October isn’t going to work. I told her that our love was solid and it was fine if they didn’t come. I do have a bit of sadness, but I understand how hard it is to make everything work for your family.
Thing 2 and Boyfriend D’s responses finally arrived early this week which made me SO happy!

I’ve given the final count to both the caterer and the event coordinator and the three of us will meet at the winery next week to make sure we’re well sorted.

There’s a laundry list of things that still need to be completed.
I’ve got time.
Sort of…next week is October. I better get a move on.

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cake topper

One thing YBW and I discovered early on in our relationship was that we both love Firefly.
I love it because I’m a tried and true Whedonite. YBW loves it because he’s a big fan of Alan Tudyk. (Actually, YBW looks quite like Alan Tudyk and I’ve always wondered if that’s why he’s a fan, even if he doesn’t know it.)
I started with Whedon’s Buffy (the TV show) and YBW started with Tudyk in A Knight’s Tale but we both ended up at Firefly.
After we’d been together for a while, YBW began to compare us to the beautiflly written and acted married couple aboard Serenity. He maintains that he’s Wash (the funny one) and I’m Zoe (the one who can kick your ass). That I love him because of and in spite of his wacky antics, and he loves me because I have the patience and kindness but also the ability to get the job done no matter what.
YBW always looks surprised when I am “the funny one” by making an inappropriate remark or doing something ridiculous. I say to him: You’re not ALWAYS the funny one.
To which he replies: Of course I am. I’m the wacky pilot and you’re the warrior woman.

Our love for Firefly and our similarities to these characters caused YBW to suggest we find Wash and Zoe action figures to be our wedding cake topper. While I adored the idea because it’s just so “us”, I honestly wasn’t sure I could find them. I have action figures of Mal and Jayne, but have never seen the others. A quick google search lead nowhere and I moved on to other ideas.
That is until Thing 2 sent me a snapchat of a ‘Pop! Funko’ Zoe she saw at the comicbook store. Now, I discovered she sent this last week as we left the winery (and I’d had more than a bit of a tasting). YBW and I went to dinner and before we even looked at the menu, we’d found there was also a Wash and Amazon had them both and they could ship via Prime. With a couple clicks of my phone, they were on their way.
When they arrived, I put heart stickers on them and called them Valentines.

Zoe and Wash

We wonder if folks will question the little black doll on our wedding cake…
I hold the boxes in my hand and giggle. It just feels right.
YBW is crackin’ the wise and that shows me how pleased he is with them.

We kind of are Wash and Zoe…here’s a bit of the script from the episode Bushwacked that pretty much nails their relationship and ours:
Commander Harken: Is there any particular reason you don’t wish to discuss your marriage?
Zoe: Don’t see that it’s any of your business, is all. We’re very private people.
(in Wash’s interrogation)
Wash: (enthusiastic; animated) The legs!
(chuckles)
Wash: Oh, yeah! I definitely have to say it was her legs. You can put that down! Her legs. And right where her legs meet her back. That – actually that whole area. That and – and above it.
Wash: (very enthusiastically) Have you seen what she wears? Forget about it. Have you ever been with a warrior woman?

I’m not really a warrior woman and I’m not quite that private about our relationship.
YBW really is that enthusiastic about my legs. (Why thank you, sir!)

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choosing a photographer and the s’mores bar

Wedding planning is in full swing.
I’m equally excited and anxious. That’s normal I suppose…but somehow doesn’t seem quite right.

The most important things to me are a photographer and the venue.

The venue is sorted, Naked Mountain Winery. (Beautiful inside and out and such delicious wine! Sundance especially loves the fact our invitations will contain the word ‘naked’.)

The photographers I had my heart set on are booked on our day. (Though I didn’t stamp my feet, I did have a teeny moment of pouting, with the protruding lip and everything.) 
I rallied quickly and began the search, eventually settling on three photographers.

I sat with YBW and looked at their online portfolios…I’m not all that sure it was easy for him. In his defense, he admits it’s not as important to him as it is to me, and he’s also quick to point out my eye is very different than his. But I noticed he made pretty astute observations and had enough feedback to help me understand where he was coming from.
I spent Saturday afternoon and evening emailing with our top two picks setting up appointments to meet with them this week. The first one Tuesday, the second on Thursday. I like the idea of meeting with the both in one week, it will be easier for me to make my decision.

Been emailing with the caterer too. She’s absolutely spectacular! We’re going to meet with her a week from Sunday for a tasting and to discuss the contract.
When we talked originally, I told her how fall was my favorite season and YBW and I have this quirky love of chicken pot pie. (Of our children, only Thing 2 enjoys this dish, and only recently. So it’s normally just we two.)
She presented us with a sample menu filled with delicious looking foods including roasted root veggies and roasted brussel sprouts. (Yeah…that’s pretty much just me.)
But the thing (apart from the pot pie) that piqued our curiosity is the inclusion of a s’mores bar. Handmade marshmallows, handmade graham crackers and artisan chocolates. (Um…yes please!)
Looking forward to meeting with her and trying some of these yummies and goodies!

All in all now that the planning is active and not preliminary my excitement is growing exponentially. I think YBW’s is too. Obviously different aspects are more important to one of us than the other, but it’s been fun to plan with him. I like hearing his ideas. I enjoy sharing mine.
I’ve learned he’s much more traditional than I am when it comes to the idea of a wedding. We’ve had more than one conversation about how cupcakes are a great alternative to a fancy (and expensive) wedding cake that nobody will eat. (Duh! S’mores bar!)
I suggested letting Thing C wear Chuck Taylor high tops because they are his daily shoe and I want the personalities of our children to be represented. YBW wasn’t too sure about that…but I think he’s coming around. He was very specific about writing our own vows, something I hadn’t even thought about.
I’m adamant about being “prayed over” or “blessed” and he has no care about this one way or another.
We’re figuring out how we want to present the joining of our lives the the people we love. We’re figuring out how we want to do this together. One step at a time. We’re walking these steps together and that’s really all that matters.

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September was a blur!

September was a blur!
So much for writing twice a week…(I’m going to need for you to get it together, Robynbird.)

Thing 2 finally got sorted…not at school though, she worked herself up to literally (And I understand the meaning of the word, K?) foaming at the mouth she was so anxious. So after many tears, and a great deal of patience on all our parts, she has decided to get her high school equivalent and begin community college in January. Is this the plan I had for her? No. Do I think she gave going back to high school her all? No. But I do believe she feels more comfortable with this plan. She has passed all the pretests with good indication she’ll pass the GED test, and she is actively researching courses at NOVA with talk of transferring to a “proper” college in two years. (Just in case you aren’t aware, there are SO MANY wonderful Virginia schools to choose from.)
So, Thing 2 is employed at a job she really enjoys, ready to pass her tests, ready to enroll in community college, and just about ready to move into her new digs in the basement. All in all, I feel good about this, for her, and in general.

As for moving into her new digs…we’ve hired contractors to create a bathroom, bedroom (With a pretty spectacular closet.), and a big ol’ family/rec room in the unfinished basement. They started a week ago yesterday and in that time have framed, put in three windows and a six foot door, all the electrical and plumbing…and when I say plumbing, I mean they started with a jackhammer as there was no rough in. Yesterday the inspector came with two big thumbs and Monday we will have drywall. WOW!
So Thing 2 has chosen a sink and cabinet, a loo, tile, and paint colors for her bathroom…and bedding for her bedroom, but cannot seem to commit to a color choice for her bedroom. We went to Benjamin Moore earlier this week and she totally choked. She just shut down completely. I’ve seen her do it before and knew the signs. I just watched it happen, powerless to stop it. So…yeah, I’m going to need for her to get it together with a quickness.

I had surgery on my foot in September and am now on week three of being non weight bearing. Not that I’m a complainer or anything…but I’m kind of over it. Want to use two feet instead of one foot and crutches or one foot and a knee scooter. But as my beloved Grandaddy would have said, “You’re old enough for your wants not to hurt you.” At least they finally removed the stitches so I can wash my foot! I mean really wash it, you know with soap and water and a scrubbie. It’s like my own little Christmas being able to clean my stinky foot!
I know the surgery was successful because when I woke up, there was no pain, and not the anesthesia and pain killer kind of no pain, the kind of no pain that was the exact opposite of the excruciating pain I’d been in for the two weeks prior to the surgery. I’m pain free! But I can’t walk…yet.

YBW and I went to our twenty fifth high school reunion the last weekend of September! We went to see people we see frequently (Sundance) and people we only see every five or ten years, me on my scooter with the big boot on my gimp foot and a sassy high heeled shoe on the good foot, and YBW with two good feet.
Friday night was…blech. I couldn’t move around because the space was tight and a girl I knew briefly my sophomore year was hammered when we got there and latched on to me with stories of our deep and meaningful friendship and never left my side. Even Sundance couldn’t save me from that.
The next night was better. The venue was larger and I was able to get around a bit. There were less people there so we got to spend more time in smaller groups. But the most amazing thing about that night was that YBW stood up in front of all those people we went to high school with and asked me to be his wife.
OHMYGOD! I know! I was totally peeing my pants! (Sorry, that was my super squealy teenage girl voice.)
Seriously, it was the most precious thing, he got up and talked about how we began dating after our twentieth reunion and have been together for five years, four of which were long distance. He talked about how we love each other’s kids and how the words boyfriend and girlfriend seem strange words to use because we’re adults. But then he said he found a word he wanted to call me, he wanted to call me his wife. Then he walked to me and got down on one knee with the most perfect diamond in his hand.

the most perfect ring

I was shocked! Not that he asked me, because we decide in the summer we were going to get married…shocked that he did it in a room full of people that we never really see or have real relationships with, shocked that he did it in such a grandiose way.
Shock moved quickly aside and the joy has come a calling.

It’s big, happy, exciting news! We are filled with love and joy. We are accepting congratulations. We are using the word fiancé gratuitously. (But only to each other.) We are planning for the fall next year, and on the sixth anniversary of dating, we will be married.
All four Things are overjoyed for us and eager to celebrate with us.
Family and friends are supportive and loving.
I feel giggly and excited, but I also feel like I’m coming home.

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