When I got to work on my me things, I meant business.
I used my big sketch book so I could see both what I can and cannot change at the same time.
I wrote in pen so it remains as I wrote it. It is unchangeable. (the irony is not lost on me, further proof of my commitment to this process)
What I cannot change:
*the living situation
*YBW’s point of view
*Thing G’s willingness to do or be
*why it frustrates me
This is what I’ve been on about. I want all this stuff to change. I want it to be different.
I can’t do anything about these things.
What I can change:
*how I function in the living situation
*how I choose to behave when I’m frustrated
*the way I go about discussing it
*what I pay attention to
*how I apply myself
This is where I have the power!
These are the things I can do something about. Now to figure out the how.
I think it must start with to what am I paying attention.
The trick with this is to decide what I need/should/desire to pay attention to.
I’m hopeful that by paying attention to the ‘right’ things, I’ll automatically change how I go about functioning, and behave when I’m frustrated. Perhaps not get as frustrated?
Is that how I can facilitate change?
Not that that’s the goal.
I. Cannot. Change. Any. Thing. But. Me.
I have to figure out how to shift my whole ‘it’s the principle of the thing’ point of view.
I mean, is that really getting me anywhere?
Maybe the concept of ignoring that which bothers me isn’t quite right. How can I accept it without it bothering me so much?
This is a conversation to start with my therapist.
I think I need to brainstorm a bit more.
Maybe it’s baby steps, not jumping in up to my ass.
Accept, don’t judge.
May be key.
This is the situation I’m in. What can I do or not do to be comfortable and content in it?
The time of ‘if this, then that’ is over.
I can’t change the situation. I can only change myself within it.
You might find yourself asking:
How much responsibility can one person take in a multi-person situation?
Is it equitable if one person is making changes for the betterment of the group?
What happens when one member of the group achieves their change making goals and the situation remains the same?
I’m asking the same questions.
Stay tuned for the answers…