magic or illusion

I saw this post on Beau’s Instagram and it rang true in me.

How many people have you encountered that are magic?
How many people have you encountered that are just illusions of magic?
My suspicion is more of the later.

People who are just the illusion of magic are the worst! Most times they’re simply reflecting your own magic back at you. Of course you can’t see that happening because you’re being dazzled by the magic. You don’t realize you’re being dazzled by your own damn magic!
Sometimes it’s actually worse than that. Sometimes these just illusion people are actually leeching your magic.
Though, to be perfectly honest, I think that’s when you begin to realize that something is amiss. It’s not exactly as it seems. You’re experiencing the drain of your own magic therefore you’re much less dazzled than if your magic is simply being reflected back at you.

I know some people who are magic.
Chock full of magic. Magic coming off them in waves. Even if their magic isn’t turned all the way on.
You know, some of the most magical people don’t even realize the extent of their own magic.
Perhaps that’s what makes them magic?

I know some people who are just illusions of magic.
Chock full of smoke and mirrors. Bullshit coming off them in waves. Even if their bullshit isn’t turned all the way on.
These are the least magical people, and they’re so desperate to appear magical they’ll stop at nothing to keep up appearances.
Poseurs.
But skilled. These illusionists can pass themselves off as the real thing.

Can a ‘trained eye’ distinguish the difference between actual magic and the illusion of magic? I honestly don’t know the answer to that. I do know that once you’ve experienced a few illusionists, you learn to better spot real magic.

I’ve always believed there’s a bit of magic down deep in each of us.
I find myself wondering if magic or just the illusion of magic comes down to intent.
Is real magic simply happening in your daily goings on?
Is the illusion of magic is caused by manipulation of that tiny nugget of magic to elicit some sort of response?

Some people are magic, others are just the illusion of it.
Powerfully thought provoking words for me this morning.

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a tune for Tuesday vol 33

Loving this new girl on the alt music scene!
Here’s Clairo with her debut song Bags.

Please listen responsibly.

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little surprise for me

YBW brought in the mail the other day and stood at the kitchen island opening it.
A moment later, he handed me this:

Yes, I squealed!
Yes, I clapped like a little girl!
Yes, I jumped up and down while I did it!

What a sweet surprise!
And I was surprised!
I asked him if he wanted to go with me to see them and he declined. He texted me from his office the day they went on sale asking if I wanted him to buy tickets, I declined. I didn’t want to drag him to see a band he’s only mildly interested in.
Turns out he had other plans.

I’ve adored Vampire Weekend since their debut album in 2008!
They remain in constant rotation in my music.
I’m so excited!

What a thoughtful gift from my husband.
He knows what I love and he wants me to be able to have as much of it as I can.
His kindness never ceases to amaze me.
I’m so grateful. Not just for this lovely gift, but for him simply being himself.

What a wonderful way to end the Summer!

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sweet birthday baby

Today I’m celebrating twenty-two years of Thing 2!
Even though she’s all grown up, she’s still my sweet baby.
Y’all, she’s only sweet a portion of the time, and she’s not at all a baby. But she is mine, and I love her more than the moon and the stars!

Thing 2 is doing the hard work of figuring out how to be an adult in this world. And however much she feels like she’s getting her ass handed to her, she’s actually making more progress than she realizes.
She’s one of those stubborn sort of girls, the ones who sometimes can’t seem to get out of their own way. (I wonder where she gets that…?) She is sometimes crippled by her own inability to make and trust a decision. She sometimes feels overwhelmed and defeated. But she’s tenacious. She keeps at it. She’s doing the day to day and eventually that will make a dent in the large and looming future.
I worry for her.
But I have faith in her.
She can do it! This thing called life.
She can do it because she’s chock full of muchness.

It seems strange to think of her as my sweet little baby, she hasn’t been that for so long. She’s her, you know? She’s a girl doing her best to live her life. She’s the daughter to two people who haven’t made her life terribly easy. She’s a sister. She’s a friend. She’s a lover. Now she’s an auntie!
In addition to her being all those things, she’s simply herself. I sometimes wonder if she feels like being herself is enough.
I believe it is. I hope she does too!

I won’t be able to smother her with hugs and kisses today, but I will twelve days from now when I collect her at the airport!
The idea of celebrating her in person brings me such joy!

Here’s a photo I absolutely adore.
Thing 2 deep in thought where the sea kisses the shore.
Can you see her muchness?

circa 2003 on the pier at Folly

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name that bee

I can’t make this stuff up, y’all.
This is what Thing 1 and I get up to on a summer afternoon.

I sent a message to the girls in our group chat that I passed the third course. (YAY!)
Thing 1 replied with a Wahoo!
Then sent a pic of Baby K with the caption “Baby K says Go Birdie!”

What follows is just us being us…

Thing 1 and Thing C are big Batman fans and this little Batman along with some other Batman things were gifts from Uncle Thing C for Baby K.
I sent the bee because it was so damn cute I couldn’t stand it! It was on her registry and I sent something else randomly and the bee went too. I sent it with a card that said, “Baby K, Bee a good girl! Birdie loves you!”
Thing 1 said she reached out for the bee then gave it kisses. (OMG how cute is that!?!)
Apparently today, she’s kissing Batman.
So, it’s not bee specific, it’s lovey specific..?

Here’s Baby K with the bee.

What do y’all think?
How about some name suggestions for Baby K’s bee?
I promise to give you credit!

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nine days – the countdown to Baby K


OHMYGOD!!

This little nugget of adorable will be here in NINE DAYS!
AND, she’s bringing her mommy and daddy with her!
I’m so happy, I swear I might burst!!

Birdie and Baby K back together again!
SQUEEEEEEEE!

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a tune for Tuesday vol 32

This Alt-J tune just screams summertime!

Please listen responsibly.

Categories: music | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

y’all gotta watch Fleabag

Discovered this show quite by accident. (Thanks, Prime!)

Initially I was like, WTF!?! This chick is effed-up beyond reason. But the more I watched, the more I considered that there is a bit of Fleabag in each of us. We all have secrets. We all do stupid things. We’re all gorgeously flawed in one way or another. And it helps to remember each one of us is impacted differently by grief.

I laughed till I cried. I covered my eyes in horror. I may have shown the TV the back of my middle finger when I realized there was only 6 episodes.
But then…

Andrew Scott as the priest is life!

These characters are of questionable moral fiber.
This show is raw and in your face. (I’m talking ‘C word’ raw)

I felt all the feels.
I honestly haven’t laughed this much in longer than I can remember.
Some of the best fourth wall breaks I’ve ever seen. (sorry, Deadpool)

If you’re not easily offended, get on your Amazon Prime and watch this show!
If you are easily offended, well, I’m actually quite sad for you.
Black comedy is an acquired taste.

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a tune for Tuesday vol 31

Brendan Benson is a particular favorite of mine.
I adore his solo work.
But put him together with Patrick Keeler, Jack Lawrence, and Jack White and you have The Raconteurs.
This is Help Me Stranger from their new album.

Please listen responsibly.

Categories: music | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I’m doing it!

I’ve been completely immersed in coursework. Reading, writing, and creating (more complicated than necessary) annotated bibliographies.
I passed the first of five courses in April. I’m four-fifths of the way to passing the second course. I’m fourteen-twentieths of the way through passing the third course.
The fifth and final task for the second course is that I must write an essay about how the books I read for this course impacted my personal education philosophies.
I’m over here like:

The fifteenth through twentieth portion of the third task is the last five annotated bibliographies. I’ve got all the prep work done, just need to plug summarized information into the template.

I already have a huge portion of my thesis compiled, so writing that paper will be simpler than some. That’s the fourth task.
The final task is creating a power point presentation that summarizes the thesis paper. (Waste of time, much?)

The girls, Husband N, Baby K, and Jessica are coming the third week of July for the party to celebrate Baby K. Thing 1, Husband N, and Baby K will be here for a bit over two weeks, and we’ve already started talking about how Husband N might go home, and Thing 1 and Baby K might stay here a bit longer and I’d take them home later in August. I’m not sure how long Thing 2 will be here. Jessica will be here for five days.
We’ll have a houseful! But I’m excited!!

My plan is to finish course two and three in the next week or ten days so I’ve got nothing pressing as I get ready for them to be here, and while they’re here I can simply enjoy being together.

I’ve worked so hard the last two weeks I can hardly believe it!
I’m taking breaks enough to go to the farmers market and day drink with Holly on Thursdays. Yesterday I finally had enough and decided to brave the heat and go run errands.
Today I’m debating on how much I’ll work. But YBW is on his computer and I have no idea what Thing G is doing, so I guess I’m on my own today. I can go out in the heat and be around random folks, or I can stay put and get stuff done. Or, perhaps a bit of both? Who knows.

For the first time since I began this journey of coursework I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My term ends September thirtieth, but I plan to finish in August.
And that’s it. I’m finished with this degree plan.
I find myself wondering what I’ll do with my time once I’m not always doing coursework.
The first thing on the list is read read read. (is that actually the first three things on the list?) I’m going to tackle my TBR stack! I’m going to read for pleasure, not what’s assigned me. I’m going to sit with my stack of Southern Living magazines and devour them.

My girls are incredibly supportive of my journey. They’re quick with praise as I report my progress this term. Thing 2 has remarked on my tenacity, and that she gets hers from me. I shared with them that I’m not only doing this for myself, sticking with this commitment I made to myself even though it’s taken so much longer than anticipated. I shared that I’m doing it for them too. So they see their mom as a woman who made a commitment to herself and is working hard to keep it.

You know, since I started this degree plan, I’ve lived through a separation and divorce. My eldest graduating high school and going away to college. The sudden and unexpected deaths of both my parents. Packing up my life in South Carolina and moving it to Virginia. Two weddings, mine, and Thing 1’s. My brain injury. The death of my precious mother in law. The birth of my first grandbaby!
And those are just the big ones!
I’m not mentioning the day to day highs and lows. Simply living life, work and home and friends.
This journey started with a whole lot of hubris. I thought I had it all under control.
This journey is coming to a close with a whole lot of beautiful humility.
I’m proud of this journey! I wanted to give up so many times! But I never did. Even when I was sick. I kept on and kept on and now I’m nearing the end with joy and verve! I did the hard work that got me to this place. I will finish the hard work in the next two months.
I’m doing it!
And soon I can shout “I DID IT!!”.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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