a tune for Tuesday vol 95

Thing 1 and I spent a day organizing Baby K’s room.
We started by taking everything out of the closet. While I worked on hanging clothes Thing 1 folded clothes.
Baby K played with toys and hangers, she unfolded shirts and pants, she worked tirelessly to successfully match socks. (with no actual success)

The whole time we were working Alt Nation was playing on my Sirius XM app.
When the Strokes came on Baby K stopped playing. She stood up and began to dance. She sang and danced and carried around my phone with true toddler joy. And when the song was over, she put down my phone and went back to trying to match socks.

So today I give y’all Reptilia, simply because Baby K loves it.

Please listen responsibly.

Categories: music | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

would you rather – deuxième partie

join the Avengers or join the Justice League
Avengers. I mean come on!

wear formal clothes or pajamas every day
Pajamas all day every day, even when I have to go do ‘the things’.

live in a cave or live in a tree house
Tree house. I once chose an apartment because of the giant tree beside it. Looking out the windows and on the balcony felt like living in a tree house.

be a deep sea diver or astronaut
Though I’m fascinated by all things ‘under the sea’, I feel panicky about diving. So, I’m going to say astronaut. Something about being able to see Earth from space appeals to me.

live without music or without television
I mean no TV might suck, but I could never live without music.

Now it’s your turn!

Categories: me | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments

a tune for Tuesday vol 94

I’m currently loving this Tame Impala song!
What do y’all think about Is It True?

Please listen responsibly.

Categories: music | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

feeling hopeful with Plato

Last week I read about someone’s journey as they do the work of self. I read about how they faltered, how the work is so much harder when the pain becomes so great they need to escape it. Oftentimes that involves crawling to the bottom of a bottle.
This got me thinking…
The pain is so great that stopping seems the only answer. The problem there is the constant stopping and starting again only serves the cycle of pain, and actually makes it worse.
By stopping the hard work of self when it becomes difficult or painful, it becomes even harder to begin again each time.
I believe working through the pain when it seems most difficult and unbearable is better for you. The only way out is through. And when you come out the other side, the pain is less acute, and you find it easier to breathe for a while.

I think it can be something as simple as learning yourself. Knowing your triggers. Knowing that at some point you’re going to feel so much pain you simply cannot go on. What you do then is how successful you’ll be on that journey.

Knowing oneself can be the most powerful tool in one’s bag
I do believe it’s as simple as that.
To know who you are.
To know why you are.
To be able to look at your choices and realize why you made them.
So many people can’t actually do that!
You’re where you are because of every single choice you’ve ever made. Sometimes choices are unconsciously made. We often ‘autopilot’ through our days.

What seems normal to you isn’t to someone who didn’t live your experiences. Those normal-seeming things create the way you view life, the way you move through life. How you treat others, how you permit others to treat you.
If your upbringing is skewed, your idea of normal is equally skewed.
Therefore, you behave, and accept others behavior based upon these norms.
Sometimes it isn’t until you have some life under your belt that you learn to see things from all perspectives…and then you realize your sense of normal is not, in fact, normal.

For some that happens sooner in life, for some later.
Working out those kinks is a tricky situation. And you’re bound to falter occasionally.
Figuring out who you actually are, who you want to be, and how to do that without taking into account all that seemingly normal…
You’re on a dark and difficult path. You’re going to fall. You’re going to get the shit kicked out of you, even if you’re actually kicking the shit out of yourself.
But, there is precious learning in this journey. And when you decide who you are based upon your own truth, and work to become that with every fiber of your being, it will be so worth it.

At least that’s my experience.
I’m on that journey, perhaps I’m further along than some, less than others. Perhaps I realized sooner, or later, or through different pain, that the seemingly normal was not at all right.
I’ve fought tooth and nail to get where I am in my own personal development. I’ve faltered. I’ve fallen. I’ve temporarily given up. But I get back up dust myself off and keep working.

The me I am now is nothing like the me they taught me to be.
I am the gift I gave myself.
The most sacred and precious gift of my life.

It’s the hardest work I’ve ever done.
And I cried.
And I bled.
And I completely shut down.
I had moments when it didn’t feel worth it, or I didn’t have any fight left in me.
But each time I got back up.

That spark of truth in me was too strong to extinguish with my ennui, or defeatist attitude, or simple exhaustion.
I’m not finished with that work, it just comes a little bit easier now than when I first started.
I may never be finished. I may do this work the rest of my days.
I owe that to myself.
I want to be the truest me. I want to share that me with the world.
I will work to be the truest me until the last breath leaves this body.
That sounds exhausting, but it also sounds hopeful.

Categories: mental health | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

a tune for Tuesday vol 93

YBW was playing music for Baby K on a Friday night a couple of weeks ago.
This Sufjan Stevens song was one she quite liked. The more I listened, the more I found myself liking it too. So much so that I asked him what it was and immediately knew I’d be sharing it with y’all.
What do you think about Chicago?

Please listen responsibly.

Categories: music | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

what’s your favorite

Time for another round of faves.
I’m hungry this morning so I’m going to do food and drinks.

Y’all ready to play?

What’s your:

favorite breakfast food
french toast with butter and powered sugar

favorite Thanksgiving food
stuffing (not cornbread and no oysters)

favorite cereal
Life (but I only eat it dry)

favorite Asian dish
tom kha soup and khao pad bai kraprow

favorite way to eat bacon
I will eat it on a train
I will eat it in the rain
I will eat it in the house
I will eat it (but not share it with) a mouse
I will eat it here or there
I will eat it anywhere
(Props to Dr Seuss)

favorite comfort food
my grandma’s macaroni and cheese (mine is *almost* as good as hers was)

favorite alcoholic drink
(currently) this delicious concoction of cranberry vodka, dry apple cider, vanilla and spices, garnished with sliced apples, dried cranberries and a cinnamon stick

favorite thing to cook
breakfast
(and I mean a big ass farmer’s breakfast for a house full of folks)

favorite cake
angel food garnished with mixed berries and sometimes (homemade) whipped cream

favorite fast food restaurant
Nando’s or Chipotle

What are your favorites?

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , | 24 Comments

would you rather

I’m inviting y’all to play a little game with me…

meet my great grandchildren
Baby K having babies? I’m SO here for it!
(I actually knew two of my great grandparents)

more money
I’ve been poor most of my life. So to me, ‘more money’ means enough to live without worrying about how to keep a roof over one’s head or food in the house. Therefore, it stands to reason that my time could be more precious if I didn’t have to worry about money.

pause button
While reliving truly wonderful moments would be lovely, I’m at the place in my life where I think a pause button would suit me better.

all the languages
This one’s a no brainer for me!
While I love animals, I’d much rather be able to read, write, and speak in any language I chose.
It literally opens the whole world to me.

no one at my funeral
The best day ever was the day I married YBW. Everyone I love most (with one exception) celebrated with us that day. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Ever!
I’ve always joked I’d want to hover ghost-like at my funeral to see what folks said and did…but I care so much less about that now.
Let’s celebrate our lives together when we’re all here to enjoy it.

stuck on a ski lift
While elevators aren’t normally a trigger, I am claustrophobic. To be stuck in an elevator without fresh air sounds horrific! I’m cool with heights, I’d be bundled up enough to keep warm, and have all the fresh air I could breathe, so ski lift it is.

dinner alone
I have no problem eating alone. In fact, most of the time I eat alone.
But a concert? Oh no! A concert is to be enjoyed together. With as few or as many.
Especially when someone who loves you surprises you with concert tickets!

stop world hunger
Little children should have enough to eat. Teenagers should have enough to eat. Adults should have enough to eat.
Being well fed won’t bring about world peace, but it sure as hell is a step in the right direction.

sky diving
Jumping from a perfectly good plane with a backpack full of parachute strapped to my back? YES, PLEASE!
Jumping from a bridge hooked to a rubber band? Oh HELL no!
I know some people don’t see the difference, but I absolutely do.

be an adult
This was a tricky one.
But I landed on adult because being a kid forever would actually suck. Being an adult doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy kid things, but it does mean you can drive and vote and earn money and shop. And go to shows and bars and out of the country by yourself. I have a whimsical, childlike sparkle inside me, so I’m fortunate enough to have the best of both worlds.

vacay with spouse
If I had a different spouse, the answer to this ‘would you rather’ would be different.
I love going on vacay with YBW! We always plan the perfect balance of ‘doing the things’ and relaxing. We’ve become adept at understanding each other’s travel idiosyncrasies and can facilitate whatever change is appropriate to ease each other.

side of salad
I love soup, but I love salad more.

brand new house
This answer might be different under different circumstances. Being stuck at home so much for so long, a brand new house sounds like the right combination of new surroundings and new projects. It can take a great deal of time to find the perfect dining table for a new house. And currently, I’ve got nothing but time.

Please play along with me.
Would you rather?
Ready…Steady…GO!

Categories: me | Tags: , , , | 12 Comments

Wednesday morning thoughts

We’re getting a break from construction for a few days.
Our bathroom is finished (and gorgeous) but the shower glass is taking longer to manufacture than expected. And while it would be convenient for the contractor to demo and start on the hall bathroom we have no place to shower if that happens.
So, they can’t demo until we have shower glass.
Which means we get a break from having people in the house. It’s easier for the dogs. It’s easier for the baby. (therefore easier for Thing 1 and Husband N) And let’s be honest, it’s easier for me too. I like to write in my bedroom and with the work going on, that’s simply not doable.
Waiting is a pain in the ass, but at least we can clean our asses, you know?

Thing 2 and Boyfriend M will be here in five weeks, everything will be finished by then, so I’m not going to worry about timing.
I’m going to enjoy less chaos in the house for a as long as I can.

YBW and I are going to the design center Friday. It’s the first meeting about the new house. Navy kitchen cabinets, here I come! We’ve been on their website ‘hearting’ what we like, and if I understand correctly, they’ve pulled everything we like and we’ll have the opportunity to lay hands on it. I’m especially curious to look at flooring. There are two different options I like, and being able to see them live will help make that decision.

I’m having a hard time with keeping track of the date.
I know what day of the week it is, but I’ve no clue as to the date. I was looking at the milk this morning, it has a sell by date of 10/4. I had to ask Thing 1 about today’s date because I realized I had no earthly idea.
I mean, I’m putting stuff in my phone calendar and writing it in my planner…you’d think I’d have some idea WTF day it is…is it just me, or is it covid life?

My TBR stack continues to grow.
Why do we purchase books at a faster rate than we read? (I say we to ease my conscience)
I’m reading a book called Rules for Being Dead.
So far, I like it.
Have any of y’all read this yet?
I just got Matt Haig’s new book and I’m excited to start it.

I miss being at school.
I haven’t been to school since February. And distance learning doesn’t really require subs so I’ll be waiting until we actually go back to school.

What makes missing school tolerable is spending time with Baby K.
That girl is something else!
I am so grateful to be an active part of her daily life.
My time teaching and learning with her is sacred. I know how lucky I am.

I’m going to wrap this up. I realize I’m just rambling at y’all and most likely, that’s not much fun to read.
I hope your Wednesday is lovely.
I’m going to go read now…

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

a tune for Tuesday vol 92

I first heard this song on Point of Origin with Sameer Gadhia and the more I hear it, the more I dig it.
Here’s Abhi the Nomad with Me No Evil.
Let me know what you think.

Please listen resonsibly.

Categories: music | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

the ultimate girl power

Wednesday last, I took my absentee ballot to the county election board to cast my vote.
It took longer to find a place to park than it did to actually vote.

I went in and was assisted by the kindest older gentleman.
He first asked me if I was comfortable with everything about my ballot inside the sealed envelope.
After I assured him I was, he explained my ballot would go in the box, he would stamp the date on a receipt, then give me “the coveted I voted sticker”.
Then he asked me if I’d like to drop my ballot in the box.
Would I ever!

By sliding my envelope into that box, I exercised my 19th Amendment right and responsibility during the hundredth anniversary.
Votes for Women
I am eternally grateful to the women who came before me. The ones who fought tirelessly and selflessly to make this a reality. My voice is heard because of them.
Because of these women, these suffragettes, these community organizers, these mothers and daughters and sisters and wives, I have the right to vote.
I believe that right is also my responsibility.
The ultimate girl power!

I purposefully wore this mask in celebration of their hard work.

If you grew up in the 1970s and 80s like me this School House Rock song will be familiar to you:

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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