Posts Tagged With: silly

I can’t necessarily spell necessary.

So this post is random as all get out…but it’s relevant to where I am at the moment. And since the universe revolves around me…that’s where we’ll spend our time this morning.
This all started because I was trying to write an email…digress much?

I’m an excellent speller. Always have been. Even back in elementary school, I kicked ass on spelling tests. It’s rare that I make a spelling mistake, and most people I know ask me how to spell words.
That said, there are two words I absolutely cannot spell to save my skin. Now in fairness, the words are kind of different versions of the same word..one is an adjective, the other it’s companion adverb.
The words are: necessary and necessarily.
Thank the Gods for spell check! Because I seriously struggle to spell these words.
How can that be? They seem simple enough…

My mom used to always add an E to the end of the word salad. She wrote it: salade. No matter how many times we had the conversation, she never stopped. Even though she knew better, she would say that it looked unfinished and felt it needed the E.
I mean, that’s a deliberate misspelling…and it suddenly occurs to me that all my stubbornness wasn’t strictly inherited from my dad.

My phone’s autocorrect is a total dick!
First I had to teach it to spell curse words. Now, is that something I’m proud of? Not really, but if I want to use curse words, they better damn skippy be spelled properly, yo!
I also had to teach it my last name.
I also had to teach it Thing 2’s given name.
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When she called me the next day, she was all, I had half a mind not to call you at all! That’s not even my name! I can’t believe you spelled my name wrong! You gave it to me! You’ve been spelling it to people my whole life! (P.S she called, I’m just sayin’.)
I was a whole lot of, Wait! What?
So I went back and looked at the text message…Ohhhh.
Then we laughed about it.
But I was mad! Stupid phone! Can’t spell my kid’s name right. Loser phone.

Anyway.
God love, Thing 1. That kid can’t spell for anything. She got that from her dad, he can’t spell either. Now Thing 2 has the handwriting of a serial killer, but she can spell. Did she get that from me? (not the serial killer bit)
YBW can’t spell either, neither can Thing G.
Is it in the genes?
Beats me.

Does it matter that I can’t spell those words? I suspect not. What’s curious about it to me is no matter how many times I work on it, I just don’t seem to get it right. Am I doomed to misspell them for eternity?
Probably. But I don’t necessarily care, because spell check is my friend. (see what I did there?)

Are there words that you know you can’t spell? That you are so grateful for spellcheck that you weep with joy?
Let me know in the comments!

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Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

I amuse myself

Well, I finally finished my mind map!
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No. Not really.
But almost.
I amuse myself.

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*sips fruit salad*

Thing 1 posted this on my facebook this week.
I was amused.
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Then I got to thinking…did I drink too much when the girls were growing up?
Am I a bad mom?
Am I a bad example?
I’ve decided to answer all three of these questions with a nopity nope.
I am an excellent mom. Playful and sincere, with loads of important life lessons.
Of course, I’ve had phone calls or text messages from each of them at one time or another asking me for my Cosmopolitan recipe.
Hmm…perhaps I’m not the best mom after all…
Meh, I’ll just have another sip of my fruit salad and decide not to worry about it.

Categories: me, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

let’s communicate in hashtags

I got a text from my sister in law in Charleston on Friday suggesting a new way to communicate. She said she wanted to send me a hashtag of what she observed in the world and as a barometer of how she’s feeling.
I adore the idea! We can go as sedate or over the top as needed. Sometimes it’ll be ridiculously long and complicated, other times less so.

I present for your consideration as sampling of our hashtag communication.

Friday July 29, 2016
Hers: #sometimesitsbettertojustdoityourself
Mine: #ineedanappy
Hers: #icantbenicetoday
Mine: #justcallmethemistressofallevil and then #f**kem

Nothing transpired on Saturday.

Sunday July 31,2016
Mine: #phantomoftheopera
Hers: #luckyduck and then #ilivevicariouslythroughyou
Mine: #igotyouyo and then #mikesfordinner
Hers: #fml
Mine: #ihatetherforeiam
Hers: #cestmoi
Mine: #iloveyyouohmygoodness
Hers: #validation
Mine: #iwillalwasyhaveyourback

I wrote about my emotional struggles last week in strangest, weirdest, most complicated woman and I’ve written about my beloved sister in law in emotionally safe in the nest.
She and I have a curious relationship. We tease that she, and not Thing 1, is my first daughter. We are truly sisters, but as I am the consummate nurturer, and she grew up without a healthy maternal relationship, we simply fell into that pattern in our own relationship. Neither of us mind, because she has nurtured me when I’ve needed it too.

We all struggle with our lives, with our choices. We have real love for the people in our world and sometimes real dislike. It has it’s own natural ebb and flow.
Her suggestion to communicate in hashtags was brilliant as far as I’m concerned. It’s a simple way to not overthink or overstate what we see and feel. Sometimes it my seem more negative than positive, but that’s the genius of it. One tiny hashtag can expel a great deal of negative energy, thus creating space for something positive.

Yesterday, YBW and I went to see Phantom with friends. Before we even left the house, I told YBW that I was uncomfortable. If it hadn’t been since I was pregnant with Thing 2 that I’d seen Phantom, I may have even begged off. I love this couple as individual people, and I can see how much good they are for each other, but I absolutely cannot stand to be with them any longer than I have to. They don’t socialize in the ‘group’, they socialize with each other which leaves others in the ‘group’ working hard to create a healthy social climate within the group. And I simply was not having it. But I wanted to see Phantom and I’m perfectly capable of keeping my mouth shut and ignoring what goes on around me enough to enjoy the show.
I actually fantasized about jumping from the moving car to get away from these people. Of course, YBW was going damn near 80 up I95…so I considered how much skin I might lose and what sort of head trauma might occur and made the decision to remain safely buckled in the vehicle. #dammit

Now, partly this is me. I’ve been in a strange place emotionally. I’m aware of and admit that. In the last week I’ve been told (by people who love me and have my best interests at heart) I’m quick to judge and that I because I speak my mind, I can come across as abrasive.
Um…thanks? #kissmyfrecklywhiteass
I know these things were said to me out of love, because I trust the person who said them. But if I was to boil myself down to two descriptive things those would not be the ones. #notreallyabitch

I apologized for being caustic, explained that was not my intention.
If I can’t speak honestly and from my heart, why speak at all? I’m a straight shooter. I don’t pull punches. I say what I think and feel out of love. Out of a desire to help others, and continue to learn. #velvethammer

I’m tired of censoring myself for the sake of other people’s feelings. I honestly can’t believe I’m as bad as all that…if I was, nobody would want to be around me ever. And guess what? Folks want to be around me.

I understand my sister in law’s desire to communicate via hashtags. I’m going to continue to text her hashtags and enjoy receiving hers. It amuses me. It’s a playful way to say what you need to say without fear recrimination. Because more than anything, more than judgement, more than annoyance, more than anything, I love. And that right there is enough reason for me. #hatersgonnahate but #ilove

Categories: love, me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

narcissistic much?

I’m a complete and total narcissist and without question or doubt, the world absolutely revolves around me.

Just kidding.

Or am I?

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

she’s an evil enchantress

Watching ponies with Thing G made me feel the need to share my all time favorite Pinkie Pie song.
Beware: It’s so catchy you’ll get it stuck in your head!

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goodbye, Why Not?

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Sundance texted me Tuesday evening: I’m going into mourning. Why Not? is closing.
My response: Oh NO! Saddest face.
Sundance: I just saw it on the news! We need to go check it out.
Me: I’m wide open Friday. Can you go then?
Sundance: I believe so.
Me: Sold!
Sundance: Boo yah!

So I picked her up this morning and we headed into Old Town Alexandria.
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Why Not? Is a toy store on the corner of King and Lee Streets that we have been shopping at for more than twenty years.
I can’t tell you how many times we’ve taken any number of our four kids into the store to climb the steep and narrow stairs to the all important Groovy Girls/Playmobil/book section.
Thing 2 and Girlie Thing had so many pairs of adorably patterned tights from Why Not?
We’ve bought more books from Why Not? than from Amazon in the last twenty years.

Why Not? has been there on the corner for more than 50 years!
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It is heart breaking to know that an independent toy shop just can’t keep up in the day and age of Amazon and Target, etc. Not to mention, it’s probably time for the owner to retire.

I am filled with sadness this afternoon. But I am also flooded with the happiest memories of being in that shop with my girls. Of sneaking down to Old Town when the girls were at school to do a little Christmas or Birthday shopping. Of piling into the car to see the windows decorated for the holidays.

Sundance has been coveting this little dolly for almost two years. It’s made in France and she saw it for over $100.00 at another toy shop. It was $74.00 at Why Not? and everything in the store was 30% off.
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That little brown haired dolly had a red haired sister!
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We decided we needed them desperately…but not enough to actually buy them. Our grown-up brains overrode our dolly needing little girl brains.
‘It was just Christmas. I don’t have a job. Blah blah blah.’
We discussed how my Mommie would have convinced us there is always money for a new dolly. Made us miss her. Sundance talked to her mom after I dropped her off at home, she told her we should have bought the dollies. So much for us being grown-ups.

I did purchase a children’s book.
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It’s about girl power, I absolutely couldn’t pass it up!

Sundance bought two little teeny angel dollies. One for me and one for her.
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I LOOOOOOOVE her!

My sadness runs deeper than I expected. It feels like a part of all the Things childhood has died. Luckily, they’re big kids now. They have happy memories, and hopefully no sadness.
How lucky are we that Why Not? was in our lives for so long!?!

Categories: love, me, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

busy and lazy Christmas fun

Thing 2 and I met Sundance and Girlie Thing yesterday morning for a bit of last minute Christmas shopping. We didn’t know Girlie Thing was going to be with her mom. I saw her before Thing 2 did and when I said it out loud, Thing 2 took off running down the store’s main aisle into the outstretched arms of her cousin. My heart grew three sizes that moment.
Sundance announced her progress since her surgery and Girlie Thing announced she has a boyfriend! There was a great deal of squealing and giggling.

Thing 2’s boyfriend D decided at the last moment to come here for Christmas. Which is wonderful! But…there are not gifts for him under the tree. I sent his Christmas Eve jammies and book and a couple of other things down to him earlier in the month.
But now that he’s going to be here Christmas morning, we had some quick shopping to do. The mom in me and the dad in YBW couldn’t abide him being the only person with nothing under the tree. YBW tasked Thing 2 straight away with the job of going with me to choose things for him. It was cute, he was all: This is your job! You can’t do anything else until it’s finished!
We not only managed to finish in one day, but get everything wrapped too!

Then the lazy fun started! Holiday movie time!
We started with Love Actually while I wrapped his gifts. The whole time making fun of the articles I sent her before I wrote about the haters in I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes….
We took a break when YBW came home to eat a quick dinner and then organized ALL the pressies, moved the bulk downstairs.
We snuggled up on the sofa and went straight back to it. Thing 2 wishes the haters some ‘Love Actually’ peace.
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We had a mini-debate on whether to watch The Holiday or Miracle on 34th Street (the original). Thing 1 wants to see Miracle on 34th Street, but we figured we could watch it twice…
We did the age old “behind the back choosing” and realized we wanted The Holiday most.
I popped corn and we got sorted on the sofa ready to go. Thing 2 gives two thumbs up.
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Today’s movies: Miracle on 34th Street (to be watched again at some point after Thing 1 arrives tomorrow afternoon) and White Christmas. (I’ve watched it two and a half times already this season, but Thing 2 has never seen it and I think she’ll like it.)

What will we do this evening you ask?
Why, The Nutcracker, of course! So much squealing and clapping!

Categories: love, me, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes…

So it turns out there are a metric ton of haters out there regarding Love Actually. I find this most amusing.
Personally, I like this movie. But I like it for the quotable one liners and the Christmas-y-ness of it, not for it’s eternal epic film quality.
No shame in my Love Actually enjoyment game.
Thing 2 and I watch it at random throughout the year, but always together at Christmastime.

This is her favorite part:
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I probably shouldn’t find it so amusing that my child loves the rampant cursing…but I do.

This is my favorite part:

Now, I’m not saying there are some things about this movie that are absolute crap.
For instance:
Karl and Laura Linney’s inability to sort out having a mentally ill sibling and getting it on. If they truly cared about each other, the could have sorted it.
Perhaps it’s because he’s prettier than anyone else in the movie?
This storyline feels superfluous to me.

That whore that works for Alan Rickman. She needs to go die in a hole. He’s married to a frumped-up version of Emma Thompson, who BTW, rocks out loud with a fiery vengeance, frumpy or not. Get it together, dude! P.S. What the flying hell kind of dolls do they have in England? “…the one that looks like a transvestite, or the one that looks like a dominatrix?” I’ll just keep my 1970s ‘Malibu Barbie’, thanks.

Talk about superfluous…the entire Colin character’s story line. “And he’s got a big knob” (you know you heard it in his voice) might be the stupidest thing in the history of film…that or I need to visit Wisconsin as a different me.

Keira Knightley does that jacked up thing with her mouth and needs to eat a thousand cheeseburgers.
AND Chiwetel Ejiofor, I just gotta say: Nobody is that oblivious. Your best effing friend has it on for your wife. Pay attention!

Hugh Grant, I think it might be sexist and pretty darn illegal to “fire” an employee because you’ve got the hots for her…but maybe that’s just in America?

I adore Colin Firth. I don’t have many bad things to say about him…and I actually adore the scene after the swim to save his book when they’re saying the same things and not understanding each other. But is he REALLY going to learn Portuguese to marry that girl? I do love when the children say, “I hate Uncle Jaime!” I say it often at random intervals…I have no uncles and don’t know anyone called Jaime…I just love the way it sounds.

The relationship between Liam Neeson and that kid who does the voice of Ferb might be my favorite. Doesn’t that kid have a biological dad? Doesn’t matter. They’re solving problems with love and fun. What parent says to a child: We need Kate and we need Leo and we need them now.? Then his encouragement of chasing down the little girl.

“Lets go get the shit kicked out of us by love.” just might be my favorite line of the entire film. (But Hugh Grant looking at the portrait of Margaret Thatcher and calling her ‘saucy minx’ is a close second.)

The most normal relationship is that of Martin Freeman and ‘Judy’. They might be naked, but they manage to develop a pretty successful friendship that becomes something more.

Sure, the movie is flawed.
But so are we and so is love.
Haters gonna hate.
But I’m going to watch it whenever it pleases me. And I’ll be watching it when Thing 2 get here.
If you haven’t seen it, I think you should. If you have and like it, I’m “air high-fiving” you. If you hate it…well, that’s your prerogative.

And finally, I must admit I love Bill Nighy’s “festering turd” of a record.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I love that he makes me laugh

YBW and I went over to Barnes and Noble this morning because I had a 20% off coupon that expired today. Sundance’s birthday is in two weeks and I was hoping to find a cookbook for her. She loves to cuddle up and read them as though they were novels. I kinda love that about her.
I didn’t find anything that I thought she needed. But I did find the third volume of Mark Twain’s autobiography.
Happy Christmas to me! (please read that in a jazzy little sing-song way)

We were walking by the info desk and I said: Do you need that new Twilight book from Edward’s point of view?
Without missing a beat he said: Who’s Edward?
The lady at the info desk looked up incredulously like, WTF dude? Where have you been for the last ten years.
I just cackled.

I suspect some people would consider it one of those “I can’t take you anywhere” moments. Not me! I thought it was the funniest damn thing and I’ll keep taking him places because he makes me laugh.

I love that he makes me laugh.
I love that he doesn’t care that I sometimes pick out my own gifts.

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