Posts Tagged With: Joss Whedon

thanks Joss

Friday, March 10 marked the twentieth anniversary of the premiere of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Now, I’m talking about the television show, not the feature film. The film was not at all what Joss intended. Lucky for us, we had seven years of Buffy on TV to experience his vision.
(Though in all honesty, I could have done without most of the last season…the potentials nearly ruined everything for me.) 

This is not the first time I’ve written of my love of Joss Whedon. From Buffy to The Avengers, I’m a whore for his use of language, for his ability to really get down to the grit of what it’s like to be human. His unique way of looking at the world and our place in it is why there are legions of Whedonites on the planet…and these ‘Big Damn Heroes’ (ain’t we just) helped create a feature film from a canceled television show.
“We did the impossible, and that makes us mighty.”

Celebrating twenty years of Buffy got me thinking about Joss’ shows. I’ve seen the complete series of Buffy more than a handful of times, Firefly possibly eight times (easy to do when it’s only fourteen episodes), and Angel from start to finish twice, and a few more of individual episodes.
There are “definitive ranking” lists out there of all Whedonverse characters, lists broken down by show, and lists of secondary characters. It can be fascinating reading, it can cause great debate, These idiots rate Giles below Adelle DeWitt. (WTF?) And this guy pulled characters out of his bum to create the number 117. (can’t handle the odd number)

In celebrating twenty years of Buffy, I put together my own ranking of Whedonverse characters from Buffy, Angel and Firefly. With a bonus character honorable mention. No ranking other than my own personal affection for the characters.
Here’s my most beloved Joss Whedon characters.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander

“The one who sees everything”, Xander truly is the heart of the Scoobies. His honest love and genuine kindness keeps you rooting for him even when he does boneheaded things. Xander is the only Scooby sans superpowers, he doesn’t need them, his quiet strength supports them all. He also has some of the best lines in the entire seven seasons.

Spike

I’m a Spuffy shipper x infinity. But even before that story line became a thing, I loved Spike. His brash irreverence. His complete disregard for…well, anything really makes him deliciously fun! Even as a demon without a soul, he still has the heart of a poet, he has a real capacity for love.

Giles

I love Giles.
That is all.

Willow

Shy and smart, Willow could have been a sad, stereotypical high school nobody. But once she flashed that smile, all bets were off. She really kind of was the audience, if it happened to Willow, or Willow believed it, it happened to us or we believed it. The whole magic as metaphor for being gay seemed acceptable to me, but later when it was a metaphor for addiction, well I feel like that slapped us upside the head. And Willow’s character development in season seven leaves me disappointed.

Faith

What if you were the chosen one but didn’t have the love and support of family and friends? Faith tells this story. I love this character. I love her flaws. I love her story of being seduced by the darkness and her decision to seek redemption. Faith never got enough credit for doing the job she never asked for. I think she and Buffy could have really become soul sisters if they kept trying.

Buffy

The girl with an “inferiority complex about her superiority complex”. Buffy is at once likable, relatable, and ‘every girl’ but she’s also whiny, selfish, and dramatic as all hell. This is actually why she really is all of us. The phrase ‘What Would Buffy Do’ exists for a reason, y’all. I think it’s hard to be the titular character of any work of art, and though she’s a bit annoying, she’s our connection to Sunnydale and we’d be worse off without her.

It’s just funny.

Angel
Cordelia

In Sunnydale, Cordy was just a mean girl. But then she began to develop as a character, she became one of the Scoobies she was the voice of the audience asking WTF? and expressing “I don’t see what this has to do with me.” On Angel, the character really came into her own. Cordelia’s arc was a beautiful thing to watch. (we’re going to disregard season 4 here, people) She offered desperately needed sarcasm and her own special brand of heroism.

Wesley

Wesley has the best character development in the whole of the Buffyverse.
That is all.

Lorne

It ain’t easy being green.
It seems to me that Lorne began as a plot device, (he can read your aura while you sing?) But he became an integral member of ‘Angel Inc’ in his own right. I like how Lorne is the sort of ‘Jiminy Cricket’ of the group. He was quick to question motives and outcomes when it’s clear someone should do. His disillusion in the way Angel goes about ‘fighting the good fight’ is palpable and in it we see he’s lost a bit of himself. His ‘one last thing’ line breaks my heart.

Angel

Angel became so much more enjoyable when he got his own show. Less whiny, broody ‘woe is me’ than on Buffy. We got to see Angel’s wry humor and his teeny bit of playfulness. He never stops searching for his redemption however questionable his methods can be.

Fred

Fred is more than a damsel in distress. She’s more than a physics whiz. She’s the little sister of Angel Investigations, hence, the little sister of us all. Fred is kind of the Willow of Angel with her gentle ways but fierceness when it comes to fighting for what she believes in.

Gunn

From start to finish, Gunn went farthest from where he was, yet never really changed who he was. The character as written wouldn’t have been as good or believable without the actor’s nuanced performance. Gunn is one of those guys you want to kick in the head and hug at the same time.

Love how no one takes himself too seriously.

Firefly
Mal

Flawed up one side and down the other, this man never stops trying to what it takes to keep his crew flying. His heart is in the right place though his motives are sometimes…um…curious. Mal is dedicated to the people he loves and doing what is ‘right’ in his own twisted way.

Jayne

His name may be girlie, but he surely is not. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you want him on your side in a fight. Keeping him on your side might be a bit trickier. He goes where the most money is. He looks out for number one. Jayne isn’t afraid of saying or doing something stupid, though he’s not always aware that he appears stupid. Yet, when it really matters, he could make the “smart choice” and he really is somewhat lovable.

Wash

I’ve written of my love of Wash and Zoe more than once.
Wash ranks above Zoe only because I think he’s funnier than she is.

Zoe

I love this bad ass warrior woman.

I love the portrayal of a happily married couple. That isn’t to say that they don’t have their issues, but they share strong genuine love and humor.

River

When it comes to River, we start with questions and are left with questions. She is something to watch though, her chronic confusion and brief moments of lucidity are absolutely beautiful. I especially love the scene in Shindig where she dresses down Badger and then says, “Call me if anyone interesting shows up.” over her shoulder as she walks away.

Kaylee

Kaylee is voice of optimism and love aboard Serenity. She keeps her flying even when the “catalyzer on the port compression coil blew”. She is the light they need on that ship, she is the heart of the crew. Nothing in the ‘vers can keep our Kaylee from being cheerful.

We should all have this much fun at work.

Honorable Mention
Dollhouse
Topher

The neural science genius of the LA Dollhouse, Topher is as self-centered and glib as your average middle schooler. He’s completely amoral and arrogant and cares nothing for the humanity of the people he helps program. However one might question his morals and actions, he’s a delight to watch.
This comment from Adelle sums up Topher perfectly.
“The cold reality is that everyone here was chosen because their morals have been compromised in some way. Everyone, except you. You, Topher, were chosen because you had no morals. You have always thought of people as playthings. This is not a judgment. You’ve always taken very good care of your toys, but you’re simply going to have to let this one go.”

Thanks, Joss, for all these outstanding characters. Thanks to the team of writers who follow Joss into the fray. Thanks to the actors who brought these characters to life, they would be nothing without you. If you’re not a Whedonite, that’s OK…you have time. If you’ve never seen any of these shows, you’re in luck! They’re all on Netflix. Check them out!
If you are a fan, I’d love to hear your thoughts on your favorite Whedon characters. Let me know in the comments.

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#savethedayvote

I’m sharing these voting vids because I’m amused by them. I’m also acutely aware of the importance of this election. I’m very concerned for my country. This is a pivotal moment to be an American. I know there are people on either side of the line…some folks have a D after their name, some folks have an R after their name. Some folks aren’t sure what comes after their name. Please just vote. Especially if you’re a woman. Do you know what the women who came before us had to endure so we could have the right to vote? They earned us the right. We owe them the responsibility.

Joss got together “just a shit ton of famous people” to talk about the importance of voting. So get out there and vote.
But first, watch this:

Thank you, RDJ for letting us know that “Mark’s gonna have his dick out.”

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going through the motions

I have friends who’ve recently expressed their joy at my being in their lives. That I bring light and love and colors dancing into their worlds.
It should be a lovely feeling, knowing that I’m positively impacting the lives of people I care about. Only right now, I’m not feeling it.
I am not feeling terribly colorful at all.
Mostly I feel gray. I feel gray and dull. No color in my world. No sparkle.

I hardly even have the emotional energy to write this blog post.
I went to bed at 5:00 yesterday afternoon and woke about 7:30 this morning.
sleep
Sleep isn’t the answer.

I don’t know where my energy goes.
Is there some weird sort of vampiric thief of my positive energy? Something that sucks all the colors from my world? Is the energy I put out into the world simply consumed?
I’ve always felt what I put into the world comes back at me magnified. Therefore loads of sparkling color should be coming back at me.

I wrote recently about my intention for my life. I wrote of love. That I intend to live my life with love. That was the last time I felt truly positive. That isn’t to say I haven’t had moments of enjoying life, because I have…but there is an overall sense of nothing that’s bigger than the moments I’m engaged in something or with someone.

I’m apprehensive about using the word depression. But it seems to me it’s the word that makes the most sense. I’m not ‘just sad’. I feel numb. Though when I do feel, sadness is something that bubbles up to the surface. I know enough about depression to know what I’m feeling is something other than ‘just sad’. I’ll be journaling about this.

I don’t want to be an empty shell of a girl.
I want to be all fiery red hair and sassy verbiage and intentional love.

Like Buffy, I’m weary of going through the motions.

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all time favorite movies

Thing C and I were talking about movies yesterday when we went to lunch. It started with MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) and kind of morphed into what movies we love most and why.
I spent more time considering this than I probably should have. It took the better part of the afternoon, but I’d already run errands, accompanied Thing C to get his hair cut and done all my laundry, so what the hell? Right?

I maneuvered the movies back and forth on this list, wheedling it down to the absolute bare minimum.
I’ve organized them by release date because I simply couldn’t rank them from least to most favorite. Though honestly, Butch and Sundance is my absolute favorite movie.

Robynbird’s all time favorite movie list:
Please watch responsibly.

1939 The Wizard of Oz
wizard of oz
This was my favorite when I was a little girl.
I see it now through jaded eyes, but it doesn’t change how I feel about it. The Scarecrow is the character I love most and not just because he has the best song. Margaret Hamilton is deliciously unnerving as the Witch of the West. It takes a stubborn girl not to be frightened into giving up her shoes.
There really is no place like home.
Years ago, I had a VHS of this movie on the shelf. When Thing 1 was small, she would stand underneath it and say: I want to watch the witch and the shoes.
This was the tiny picture at the bottom of the box.
images

1940 The Philadelphia Story
philadelphia story
This is sophisticated “screwball comedy”. Not as slapstick like Bringing up Baby, (which I dearly love) the humor here is in the dialogue. The wit and delivery of the words bring every bit of fun! George Cuckor’s direction makes what could be a clunky movie from a stage play perfectly delightful. One of my favorite and often quoted lines is the “hearthfires and holocaust” speech.
P.S. Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart on one screen? Yes please!

1955 To Catch a Thief
to catch a thief
I love every moment of this movie. Hitchcock had a brilliant plan and executed it perfectly.
Cary Grant as sassy as he can be. Grace Kelly’s Francie is as cool as a cucumber, but you know she’s wild on the inside. Jessie Royce Landis steals the show as Francie’s mother, Jessie.
It’s a little trick of a story, Hitchcock himself called it “lightweight”. But it is engaging, you know John Robie is innocent and you want to see him clear his name. Oh! Not to mention the setting is it’s own character! And the costumes!
To Catch a Thief has my favorite Hitchcock cameo appearance of all his films.
hitchcock bus

1959 Some Like it Hot
some like it hot
Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in drag might be one of the comically grotesque things in the history of film! This movie is a hilarious romp of comedy and gangster movie all rolled into one. Tony Curtis with that Cary Grant-esque accent as “Shell Oil”! Too much.
One of my favorite movie lines. “It’s like Jello on springs.”

But Joe E. Brown takes steals the show with the blindfolded tango and the very end scene. “Well, nobody’s perfect.”

1961 The Parent Trap
parent trap
I fell in love with this movie the first time I saw it when I was a little girl! Haley Mills was just precious as Susan and Sharon. Maureen O’Hara is a Goddess! Brian Keith is the kind of dad everyone would love. I especially adore their grandfather, Charles. He susses out the switch and aids and abets in not only getting the girls back together again, but lights a fire under his daughter Maggie to update her image before going to California. (Maybe I just have a soft spot for grandfathers.)
I’m mad about the costumes! And how cute are the opening titles? Those little cherubs! I just can’t!
This movie has some issues with script, but the cast makes up for it. I love it now with the same love I had the first time I saw it. It’s just precious.

1969 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
butch and sundance
“Who are those guys?”
Paul Newman and Robert Redford.
I don’t even know where to begin. This is, without a doubt, my favorite movie of all time. It’s a movie about best friends, brothers even. Sure, it’s based on real people, but it’s kind of a ‘road trip’ movie. These two guys have genuine affection for each other. They will do whatever it takes to have each other’s back. Even when they’re injured and out-gunned, they’re still making plans about where to go and what to do next…together.
It has some of the best lines in all of movie-dom!
Boy I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals. ~ You know, when I was a kid, I always thought I’d grow up to be a hero. Well, it’s too late now. ~ You just keep thinkin’ Butch, that’s what you’re good at. ~ Don’t you get sick of being right all the time?
I honestly say, “Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?” at least once a week.

1985 Out of Africa
out of africa
It’s long. It drags. It sugarcoats Karen Blixen’s memoirs. But my God, is it gorgeous visually! I love the way it looks. Meryl Streep is extraordianry. Robert Redford is, well, Robert Redford. But I love him, so what are you going to do? This movie at once overwhelms and disappoints, but it’s still one of my favorites.

1993 Dazed and Confused
dazed and confused
I think Richard Linklater is terribly underrated. He has a knack for getting to the heart of his characters. This film is all about the characters and the way they relate to each other. I love character heavy movies. I love seeing the way all the people relate to each other. In this movie, the people are high school students on the last day of school 1976. Rising seniors wreaking unholy hazing havoc on rising freshmen. Parker Posey saying, “Wipe that face off your head, bitch.” always amuses me. Sports politics regarding drug culture. Beginnings and endings of relationships. The origin of Matthew McConaughey’s “Alright alright alright.” And Rory Cochrane as Ron Slater is not to be missed. His comic timing is completely on point.
This is my favorite scene.

I knew boys like this growing up. Only their vice was Jack Daniels “cleverly” disguised in Pepsi bottles.

1997 Hercules
Meg and Wonder Boy
Who put the “glad” in gladiator?
Hercules is my most beloved Disney animated movie, and that is saying so much!
I’ve always loved Greek Mythology. I love gospel music.
The story doesn’t quite match up with the myths the way we know them. But that doesn’t matter, because we’re rooting for Hercules to get back to Mt Olympus.
James Woods as Hades is the sassiest Disney villain ever! It’s hard to watch him lose.
I can quote this movie from start to finish. I know all the songs. It is a staple in my daily life, not a day goes by that I don’t use some quip or quote from Hercules.

1998 Spice World
Film Title: Spiceworld.
Yeah, I know. But I’ll just sit here and let you judge me.
It’s a hot hot mess of a movie, but it’s just good fun! I love these playful girls. I love their music. The costumes are great. The Spice Bus makes me want one. I’m always amused by the laundry list of celebrity cameos.
Girl Power never looked so campy.

1999 Dogma
dogma
Here’s why I love this movie.
Kevin Smith has a sense of humor about religion.
Alan Rickman as the Metatron.
Jason Lee’s fabulous turn as Azrael .
Alanis Morissette is God.
Chris Rock.
Bartleby and Loki. (Was Wisconsin really that bad?)
And last but not least, the Buddy Christ.
buddy christ

2003 What a Girl Wants
what a girl wants
The cast is better than the script provided. It is decidedly early 2000s. It’s completely predictable. It’s nothing but cute clothes and a fun soundtrack, but I love it. I’ve seen it more times than I can even count. It was a staple in the young lives of my girls.
Amanda Bynes at her most adorable.
Colin Firth playing Colin Firth…until he’s in those leather pants rocking out to Rick Derrigner’s Rock and Roll Hootchie Koo.

2003 Pirates of the Caribbean
The Curse of the Black Pearl
Jack and Will
When I saw the first trailer for this movie, I was like, ‘oh HELL no!’ But then I saw it at home on DVD and the moment it was over, I watched it again.
Johnny Depp makes the movie. Without Captain Jack Sparrow it’s absolutely no fun.
It could and should have been a one off. There was no need for the sequels.

2006 Casino Royale
bond
Two words: Daniel Craig.
This new Bond is a more physical being. Can any of us imagine Roger Moore or Pierce Brosnan parkour-ing all over Madagascar? Maybe Sean Connery…but probably not.
Daniel Craig shows us an entirely new Bond and I like it!

2012 The Avengers
avengers
Written and directed by Joss Whedon you know it’s going to be great! All these actors portraying these iconic comic book characters could have been a hot mess waiting to happen, but they pulled it off. It was a perfect combination of comedy, drama and adventure. The story is engaging even though it’s a little far-fetched. It’s a comic book movie, of course it’s far-fetched. The witty dialogue is what sold me. How many different pop culture references can Tony Stark use as names for the other Avengers?

honorable mentions

1964 Mary Poppins
marry poppins
I don’t remember how old I was when Mommie and I went on a date to see this movie. But I remember being frightened to see it. I distinctly remember standing in front of the movie poster on the side of the Jefferson Theater trying to decide to go in. I don’t know why I was so afraid to see the movie because I fell in love with Mary Poppins in that theater!

1966 How to Steal a Million
how to steal a million
This movie has it all! Art caper, romance, humor and some of the most fabulous costumes in movie history! It’s got the feel of a screwball comedy but looks stylistically modern.
I loved every moment of it.
Audrey is absolute perfection. Peter O’Toole is suave and sassy all in one. Young Eli Wallach cracks me up.

2001 The Anniversary Party
anniversary party
Another movie about how people relate to each other.
It’s a fairly common story…group of friends get together for a dinner party, wackiness ensues, secrets revealed. It’s not quite an ‘Exterminating Angel’ scenario…but these friends and lovers crack under pressure and their soft underbellies are exposed. Not one of them walks away unscathed.
It doesn’t hurt that I adore Alan Cumming.

always quoting

1975 Monty Python and the Holy Grail
holy grail

1988 Bull Durham
candlesticks make a nice gift

1989 When Harry Met Sally
harry and sally

All I can say here is that every single day of my life I say one or more things from each of these films. My girls grew up quoting these movies before they ever even saw them. Thing C and Thing G have begun quoting these films and have only seen one of them.
These words are a part of my daily lexicon. I’d like to thank they Pythons, Ron Shelton, Nora Ephron and Rob Reiner for providing such great one liners.

I’m curious.
What are your favorite films? What movie lines do you use in your daily life?
Let me know.

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anywhere but here

You ever have one of those moments when you’re just feeling that sense of “I can’t even”?
Nothing’s wrong really. Life is shiny. But you’re restless and hankering for a change of scenery.
When that happens to me, (and dear, sweet baby Jesus, does it happen) I like to play a little game called Anywhere But Here.
Now I can’t take credit for this particular game, I stole it from Joss Whedon’s writers room. Buffy and Willow play this game in season 2 Episode 8 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Here’s their Anywhere But Here (please take into account this episode aired November 10, 1997):

Buffy: I’m on a beach, but not one of those American beaches, one of those island beaches where the water’s way too blue, and I’m laying on my towel, and it’s just before sunset, and Gavin Rossdale’s massaging my feet!
Willow: Oh, that’s good! Uh, I’m in Florence, Italy, I’ve rented a scooter that’s parked outside, and I’m in a little restaurant eating ziti, and there are no more tables left, so they have to seat this guy with me, and it’s John Cusack!
Buffy: Ooo! Very impressive. You have such an eye for detail.
Willow: ‘Cause with the ziti!
Xander: What are you two up to?
Buffy: Just having a quick game of ‘Anywhere But Here’.
Xander: Ooohhh. Amy Yip at the waterslide park.
Willow: You never come up with anything new.
Xander: I’m just not fickle like you two, okay? I’m constant in my affections. Amy Yip at the waterslide park!

My ‘Anywhere But Here’ oftentimes involves a cottage in a tiny cove with white sand and clear blue water. It’s tiny but perfect with a large sleeping porch facing the water. I created this cottage out of thin air for a different original purpose but fell so deeply in love with it that any lingering association flew quickly by the wayside.
Occasionally my “Anywhere But Here’ is something more involved like the Orient Express from Paris to Istanbul or whimsical like going to “Harry Potter Land”.

I’m curious if any of y’all ever feel restless like that, and if so, where is your ‘Anywhere But Here’?

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nine of twelve hundred

I’m finally getting around to sorting through the twelve hundred wedding photos.
What needs to be printed and what sizes.
I’m working to create a book.
I have to say, it’s daunting as hell!

I’ve chosen a few to share here:

I think the series from the train tracks are my favorite.
0166

Thing 1 made a bouquet of the spikes we found.
0177

Boy feet.
I love the Chucks! I wish YBW had worn them for the wedding too, but he did change for the reception.
0305

Here comes the bride. (and her Things)
0306

Girlie feet!
0332

Thing 2 comforting her big sister during the Song of Songs. (You can’t see it, but I’m holding her hand.)
0356

YBW reading his vows.
He borrowed heavily from Joss Whedon but spoke from his “Wash” heart to my “Zoe” heart.
0405

Wedding bell is ringing.
0478

Signing my name to make it official for the church.
0504

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love was made for me and you

This is one of my favorite images from our wedding.
maids of honor
Every single photo taken during the ceremony shows my daughters like this.
Thing 2 holding Thing 1’s hand in both of hers. Thing 1 says it’s because she was crying so much and Thing 2 was comforting her.
That sounds about right.

Here’s another one that pleases me. Our first dance.
2.20151025_252
L-O-V-E.

It was the very best day I’ve experienced in many years. The absolute joy in the church that day. The love of our closest friends and family surrounding us.
It was the most fun wedding I’ve ever been to. Not because it was ours, but because it was interactive. The congregants participated in our ceremony. We laughed, we cried.
YBW’s nephew read from Song of Solomon. His oldest friend read from 1 John. Girlie Thing read the Recipe of Love. We made each other cry. My beloved friend and mentor prayed beautifully for us. And that fabulous ‘girl in a collar’ blessed us in the most special way.
In the middle of our beautiful Episcopal ceremony there was a moment for YBW and me to share our own vows. I had practiced so much that I’d committed mine to memory.
When I began to speak, YBW said: You’re not going to read them?
I said: I memorized them.
His eyes got very big and there was laughter in the church.
Thing 2 said: She worked so hard, just let her go!
More laughter.
Mine was a short paragraph about trust and experiencing a different love with him.
YBW borrowed heavily from Joss Whedon and did manage to include “corpsified and gross” much to my joy!

At the reception, our Things made speeches, Thing C and Thing G telling funny and inappropriate YBW stories. Thing C said something about how it’s not YBW and Robynbird anymore, it’s YBW and Robynbird together. (this made more sense in the inflection)
Thing 2 wandered off for a moment but came back to where she started and as hard is her precious little heart is she told us we “made a believer” out of her.
Thing 1 broke my heart talking about happiness and love. She acknowledged how happy YBW helps me be. She expressed her love for him, not simply because of that, but because she loves him.
My precious and darling nephew, Boy Thing spoke of how I wasn’t just his aunt, I was his second mom and he is who he is today because I was in his life. (We cried in each other’s arms for a moment after he finished.)

YBW and I kissed each time the flatware hit the glasses. We laughed as we explained why there was a little black dolly on our wedding cake.
2.JJ.DSC_0569

We danced the night away.
It was the most wonderful day in the history of YBW and Robynbird…so far…

I hadn’t anticipated this post going the way it did when I started. I thought it was going to be about the girls holding hands…turns out I needed to talk about the entire day.
It was a mighty fine shindig.

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our love (of Joss Whedon) is ever-changing AND constant

Just had a great conversation with Thing 2. She called as I was leaving school this afternoon and we just hung up the phone. Her voice is one of my true joys. We’ve been playing phone tag for almost a week now and I am so happy I got to talk with her!
She was sounding a bit sad when we first started talking. I asked and she explained there was a bit of drama. Girl drama. I laughed and said: I didn’t think you hung out with girls any more. She laughed too then said there was some ickiness with her best (girl)friend. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She explained that she’s hurt that her best friend has gotten really close with another girl (a common friend) but Thing 2 is kind of feeling put out. She said: Like I’m suddenly less cool than (girl’s name)? (I can assure you that Thing 2 is INFINITELY “cooler” than this other girl, and I’m not saying that just because I’m her Momma.)
We talked about how all her friends are in school and she’s not. How her life is completely different than their lives. Then she said something that gave me pause (and great pride).
She said: Maybe it’s me. Maybe I need to change my expectations.
Damn, that kid has insight. How many seventeen year olds have that much self awareness? (I did something right.)
So we talked about her perspective, she was thrilled to have my feedback. I feel hopeful that it will help her when she begins to feel this way again.

We talked about our adoration, nay, worship of Joss Whedon, Thing 2’s girl crush on Eliza Dushku, and how freaking talented Alan Tudyk is.
This portion of the program started with her sharing that she finally started watching the second season of Dollhouse.
(Then it went a bit like this: OMG Thing 2! I was just thinking about Dollhouse earlier this week! OMG Momma! We’re totally connected!)
This was a hilariously animated discussion which moved into Buffy and what a total whiny crybaby we both think Angel is. (We love Spike.)

We discussed a visit. She told me she promised to visit her sister first and then come here. But she wanted to come here sooner rather than later but didn’t want to hurt her sister’s feelings. Hmm…this got me thinking…and I said: It isn’t lost on me that we are talking about a twenty-one year old grown ass woman and the concern that if you spend time with me instead of her it will somehow hurt her feelings.
Thing 2 said: Wow! Way to put it into perspective! I’m coming to see you! (We don’t yet know when, but she’s a-comin.)

We talked about our emotional connection now that we don’t really have our physical connection. I told her I missed the days when (as a teenager) she would come into my room with her pillow under her arm and I’d say, “Whatcha doin?” and she wouldn’t speak, but walk to my bed, move the other pillow, place her pillow and get into bed, look at me and grin.
She giggled and said she missed that too. She said: Now you have a boy in your bed. We laughed. But I said: You know, there are other beds in this house, but you were all, No! I wanna be right in the middle of this big bed with your tiny self. (the same bed that was mine into which she would plant herself) She laughed again and said: Well damn, if I’d know that, I wouldn’t have left. (Interestingly, hearing that didn’t sting.)

We agreed we were both missing our connection. We agreed to be more aware and mindful of it and to amp up our communications.
That kid.
That kid has been my very favorite human being since she first grabbed my finger through the tiny hole in the incubator bed in the NICU.
Our life is different now. We’ve hurt each other immensely, but we’ve healed each other, too.
The love we share is different from any other love in our lives. It is true and it is deeply rooted, but it is also adaptable. And that is what will keep us together even though we’ve been through some gut wrenching pain. Even though we’re five hundred miles apart. Even though she’s almost grown.
Our love is unconditional. Our love is ever-changing AND constant.
But I could cut off her Netflix at any moment…
(If you’re a Whedonite, you know what I did there…undercut a “sappy” moment with “sharp” humor. Thing 2 would be chuckling…as long as she believed I was kidding.)

Categories: love, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

cake topper

One thing YBW and I discovered early on in our relationship was that we both love Firefly.
I love it because I’m a tried and true Whedonite. YBW loves it because he’s a big fan of Alan Tudyk. (Actually, YBW looks quite like Alan Tudyk and I’ve always wondered if that’s why he’s a fan, even if he doesn’t know it.)
I started with Whedon’s Buffy (the TV show) and YBW started with Tudyk in A Knight’s Tale but we both ended up at Firefly.
After we’d been together for a while, YBW began to compare us to the beautiflly written and acted married couple aboard Serenity. He maintains that he’s Wash (the funny one) and I’m Zoe (the one who can kick your ass). That I love him because of and in spite of his wacky antics, and he loves me because I have the patience and kindness but also the ability to get the job done no matter what.
YBW always looks surprised when I am “the funny one” by making an inappropriate remark or doing something ridiculous. I say to him: You’re not ALWAYS the funny one.
To which he replies: Of course I am. I’m the wacky pilot and you’re the warrior woman.

Our love for Firefly and our similarities to these characters caused YBW to suggest we find Wash and Zoe action figures to be our wedding cake topper. While I adored the idea because it’s just so “us”, I honestly wasn’t sure I could find them. I have action figures of Mal and Jayne, but have never seen the others. A quick google search lead nowhere and I moved on to other ideas.
That is until Thing 2 sent me a snapchat of a ‘Pop! Funko’ Zoe she saw at the comicbook store. Now, I discovered she sent this last week as we left the winery (and I’d had more than a bit of a tasting). YBW and I went to dinner and before we even looked at the menu, we’d found there was also a Wash and Amazon had them both and they could ship via Prime. With a couple clicks of my phone, they were on their way.
When they arrived, I put heart stickers on them and called them Valentines.

Zoe and Wash

We wonder if folks will question the little black doll on our wedding cake…
I hold the boxes in my hand and giggle. It just feels right.
YBW is crackin’ the wise and that shows me how pleased he is with them.

We kind of are Wash and Zoe…here’s a bit of the script from the episode Bushwacked that pretty much nails their relationship and ours:
Commander Harken: Is there any particular reason you don’t wish to discuss your marriage?
Zoe: Don’t see that it’s any of your business, is all. We’re very private people.
(in Wash’s interrogation)
Wash: (enthusiastic; animated) The legs!
(chuckles)
Wash: Oh, yeah! I definitely have to say it was her legs. You can put that down! Her legs. And right where her legs meet her back. That – actually that whole area. That and – and above it.
Wash: (very enthusiastically) Have you seen what she wears? Forget about it. Have you ever been with a warrior woman?

I’m not really a warrior woman and I’m not quite that private about our relationship.
YBW really is that enthusiastic about my legs. (Why thank you, sir!)

Categories: wedding | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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