Posts Tagged With: engaged

porch life

With the beautiful weather we’ve been experiencing YBW and I decided to spend a little time outside yesterday afternoon. We debated heading over to one of the local wineries but I was in yoga pants and a Nats tee and didn’t really feel like changing to go out. So we decided create that winery experience at home on our lovely but sadly under-utilized porch. We ran to the grocery store for yummies and goodies to make a small charcuterie board.

We sat out there for quite some time. Talking, laughing, nibbling, and drinking wine.
I officially decided that prosciutto must have been the food of the Gods.
We talked wedding practicalities.
We talked about ourselves and each other.

Oftentimes we’re bogged down in the day to day runnings of our life. But last evening, we just were. We were authentic and immediate and we were completely engaged.
I liked it.
He liked it too.

He’s home with me for the next three days. We talked about taking a mini-break to the beach, but it didn’t really go anywhere. So we’re going to stay home. Tomorrow we’re going to an exhibit at the National Geographic Museum. And on Thursday we’ll go to the Arboretum.
That’s our plan, tentatively…

It’s warmer today, but I may suggest a repeat.
I love when we’re together and able to just be.

Categories: love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

September was a blur!

September was a blur!
So much for writing twice a week…(I’m going to need for you to get it together, Robynbird.)

Thing 2 finally got sorted…not at school though, she worked herself up to literally (And I understand the meaning of the word, K?) foaming at the mouth she was so anxious. So after many tears, and a great deal of patience on all our parts, she has decided to get her high school equivalent and begin community college in January. Is this the plan I had for her? No. Do I think she gave going back to high school her all? No. But I do believe she feels more comfortable with this plan. She has passed all the pretests with good indication she’ll pass the GED test, and she is actively researching courses at NOVA with talk of transferring to a “proper” college in two years. (Just in case you aren’t aware, there are SO MANY wonderful Virginia schools to choose from.)
So, Thing 2 is employed at a job she really enjoys, ready to pass her tests, ready to enroll in community college, and just about ready to move into her new digs in the basement. All in all, I feel good about this, for her, and in general.

As for moving into her new digs…we’ve hired contractors to create a bathroom, bedroom (With a pretty spectacular closet.), and a big ol’ family/rec room in the unfinished basement. They started a week ago yesterday and in that time have framed, put in three windows and a six foot door, all the electrical and plumbing…and when I say plumbing, I mean they started with a jackhammer as there was no rough in. Yesterday the inspector came with two big thumbs and Monday we will have drywall. WOW!
So Thing 2 has chosen a sink and cabinet, a loo, tile, and paint colors for her bathroom…and bedding for her bedroom, but cannot seem to commit to a color choice for her bedroom. We went to Benjamin Moore earlier this week and she totally choked. She just shut down completely. I’ve seen her do it before and knew the signs. I just watched it happen, powerless to stop it. So…yeah, I’m going to need for her to get it together with a quickness.

I had surgery on my foot in September and am now on week three of being non weight bearing. Not that I’m a complainer or anything…but I’m kind of over it. Want to use two feet instead of one foot and crutches or one foot and a knee scooter. But as my beloved Grandaddy would have said, “You’re old enough for your wants not to hurt you.” At least they finally removed the stitches so I can wash my foot! I mean really wash it, you know with soap and water and a scrubbie. It’s like my own little Christmas being able to clean my stinky foot!
I know the surgery was successful because when I woke up, there was no pain, and not the anesthesia and pain killer kind of no pain, the kind of no pain that was the exact opposite of the excruciating pain I’d been in for the two weeks prior to the surgery. I’m pain free! But I can’t walk…yet.

YBW and I went to our twenty fifth high school reunion the last weekend of September! We went to see people we see frequently (Sundance) and people we only see every five or ten years, me on my scooter with the big boot on my gimp foot and a sassy high heeled shoe on the good foot, and YBW with two good feet.
Friday night was…blech. I couldn’t move around because the space was tight and a girl I knew briefly my sophomore year was hammered when we got there and latched on to me with stories of our deep and meaningful friendship and never left my side. Even Sundance couldn’t save me from that.
The next night was better. The venue was larger and I was able to get around a bit. There were less people there so we got to spend more time in smaller groups. But the most amazing thing about that night was that YBW stood up in front of all those people we went to high school with and asked me to be his wife.
OHMYGOD! I know! I was totally peeing my pants! (Sorry, that was my super squealy teenage girl voice.)
Seriously, it was the most precious thing, he got up and talked about how we began dating after our twentieth reunion and have been together for five years, four of which were long distance. He talked about how we love each other’s kids and how the words boyfriend and girlfriend seem strange words to use because we’re adults. But then he said he found a word he wanted to call me, he wanted to call me his wife. Then he walked to me and got down on one knee with the most perfect diamond in his hand.

the most perfect ring

I was shocked! Not that he asked me, because we decide in the summer we were going to get married…shocked that he did it in a room full of people that we never really see or have real relationships with, shocked that he did it in such a grandiose way.
Shock moved quickly aside and the joy has come a calling.

It’s big, happy, exciting news! We are filled with love and joy. We are accepting congratulations. We are using the word fiancé gratuitously. (But only to each other.) We are planning for the fall next year, and on the sixth anniversary of dating, we will be married.
All four Things are overjoyed for us and eager to celebrate with us.
Family and friends are supportive and loving.
I feel giggly and excited, but I also feel like I’m coming home.

Categories: love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

so…Thing 1 has a ring on her finger

Sundance called me Wednesday evening, “so your daughter is getting married.”
“What?” (I may have actually said, shut the f@*k up! but I just can’t remember.)
“She changed her Facebook status to ‘engaged’.”
“Yeah, I’m going to call you back.”

Ring ring…
“Hi Mommy!”
“Uh…anything you want to tell me?”
She giggled. (She FREAKING giggled!?!) “I sent you the picture.”
poohbear's ring
“Yeah, you always send me pictures of you trying on rings while you’re out piddling around…how was I to know what that was? Dude! Aunt Sundance just called me because she saw it on Facebook! You don’t think this news warrants a phone call?”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re SORRY!?! I’m your mommy, you don’t send a picture via mass text and change your Facebook status, you pick up the phone.”
“I’m sorry, Mommy.”
“Well, tell me all about it!”
More giggling, “what do you mean?”
(I might kill her.)
“How did it happen? Was it a surprise? How do you like the ring? I don’t know, something more than…nothing.”
“Well N said, “(Thing 1’s full name), will you be my wife?” and I said yes!” Then she described the ring in great detail.
“Holy shit.” (And not just once.)
“Mommy, why do you keep saying holy shit?”
“I’m so sorry bear, I’m in shock. When that goes away the excitement will kick in, you just gotta give me a minute.” (I knew I needed to rope it in a bit so I didn’t freak her out.) Are you happy, baby?”
“I love you, and if you’re happy, I am happy too.”
(Can hear the smile in her voice.) “Thank you, Mommy.”
“Is there a date?”
“Oh at least a year.”
(Thank God!)
“And I’m going to go back to school before we get married too, you’ll be proud of me, I made a good plan.” (My Thing 1 is a ‘dive right in’ kind of girl so for her to have a plan is a seriously big deal.)
“I have to say this because I’m the mommy, and mommies have to say the things nobody wants to hear, you are very young and that worries me.”
“I know, but we’re waiting, so it’s OK.”
Then there was the, I’m so glad you’re happy and excited and can’t wait to see the ring next week…blah blah blah. Then the I love yous and good bye.

My 19 year old daughter is engaged to be married! I’m going to throw up!

Sundance said Thing 1 told her at least a year, maybe two…this eases me a bit.
YBW said, “This is the beginning of her living her own life.” (Easy for him to say…his 20 year old isn’t coming home with a girl who’s got a ring on her finger.)

I am so happy my Thing 1 is happy. N is doing a really good job showing that he wants to love her and take good care of her and she is really happy.
He is her first real boyfriend. He is the first person she’s ever slept with. He is more than 10 years older than she is.
I have absolutely no control over any of this.
She is me all those long years ago, marrying a man so much older than me, who was going to take care of me and give me babies to raise…until the world fell apart.
I want better for Thing 1 than I had…
YBW reminds me that she isn’t me and N isn’t the former husband.
I remind myself she is blissfully happy and who am I to try and damage that with my anxiety.

Interestingly enough, I was flipping channels at lunchtime on Friday, (I almost never turn on the TV.) and Say Yes to the Dress (Atlanta) was on…it was tyrant/dictator mom day…nasty, hateful moms who were just horrid to their bridey daughters and I thought I will not be that mom, I spent the last 20 years trying to do what was best for her and part of that is letting her decide what she likes and what pleases her.
I will trust that I did a good enough job…that she’s got the ability to make decent choices…and I will simply find her joy and participate in it.

Here’s the thing, she might be happy from now until the end of time…or it might blow up in her face, but she’s the only one who can decide.

Is this the choice I would have made for her? No. I would have wanted her to live a bit more…to become the woman she’s going to be first before she attached her life to another person. Only it’s not up to me. It’s her life now…the days of little blonde pigtails and Eloise books are long gone, she’ll hit her second decade in a few short months and she is going to make the decisions that shape her adult life. I can only love her and smile at her happiness.
And fight the overwhelming urge to vomit.

Think there’s such a thing as “happy for you vomit”?
God I hope not.

Categories: love, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at

Stories I've Never Told...

(...and some I have)

Starting Over

Because there's never enough time to do it right the first time but there's always enough time to do it over

A Simpler Way

A Simpler Way to Finance

Faith + Gratitude = Peace + Hope

When I was young my dad would always say, "Crystal, you can choose your attitude." One day I chose to believe him.

Reader, Writer, Photographer, Random Scribbler

Snippets of SnapDragon

Welcome to my cauldron of creative musings, yo.

Encouragement for you!!

Need some encouragement--read this!!

To Write or not to Write and What to Write

#shortstories #thoughts #reflections

Thinker Boy: Blog & Art

by Troy Headrick

Invisibly Me

Live A Visible Life Whatever Your Health

A Teacher's Reflections

Thirty Years of Wonder

Life and Random Thinking

An old dog CAN blog

charles french words reading and writing

An exploration of writing and reading

Sawblades In Your Walkman

effervescing with muchness

History Tech

History, technology, and probably some other stuff

Claudette Labriola

Words, mostly


where the clouds may lead

Meditations in Motion

Running and life: thoughts from a runner who has been around the block

Bitchin’ in the Kitchen

..because the thoughts that fall, kicking and screaming from my head need a safe place to land..

Finding French Charming

Finding True Love.. Even After Forty

Thought Box

Sweet...Bitter...Happy...Sad...All thoughts trapped in a Box...

M.A. Lossl

An author's life, books, and historical research

Wise & Shine

A community for writers & readers

Water for Camels

Encouragement and Development for Social Workers and Those with a Mission of Helping Others

Living In the Sweet Spot

"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present." Jan Glidewell

Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50

Navigating the second half of my life

%d bloggers like this: