Posts Tagged With: monty python

What IS the appropriate idiom in this situation?

Yesterday my computer bought the farm.
Is that idiom even appropriate in this situation? I think not.
Honestly, I’d be better off saying my computer committed suicide.
Just up and died. Couldn’t even be bothered to leave a note.

The Pythons in my brain did an entire sketch about it.

“‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This computer is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-COMPUTER!!”

(Now that’s a load of idioms!)

To say I was frustrated would be an understatement. Have y’all heard the expression “I’m about as frustrated as a crackhead without a lighter.”? Yeah…that was me.

Everything was lost. Every. Single. Thing.
All the words I’ve written in the last how-ever-many years.
All the music I’ve spent my lifetime accumulating.
All the photos I’ve taken in the last six years.

I was actually planning to back up all my stuff but my external hard drive is still filled with music for Thing 2 and I thought I had time…
A Willow quote comes to mind. “Irony’s kind of ironic that way.”
Even though this isn’t really irony.

I felt like Carrie Bradshaw.

My precious husband immediately stopped what he was doing and devoted his entire day to trying to suss out what he could salvage. Seriously y’all, that sweet man spent the whole damn day trying to rescue my photos, writing, and music.
I got after researching new computers on my ipad (mini).
A couple hours later, he was feeling pretty confident that he’d been able to get my documents and music, and was seeing what he could do to recover my photos.
HOORAY!
The day was saved…thanks to…the Powerpuff Girls!

No no no!
The day was saved…thanks to…YBW!

I then presented him with a couple laptops I thought I’d like. With a little ‘computer guru’ advice and some tweaking of what I thought I wanted, we narrowed it down to a choice of three. Braving the frigid temperatures, we went to Micro Center. Turns out after typing on all three, the one I thought I most wanted was the I liked least. (Y’all hear Willow’s voice again too, right?)

Today, I have a brand spanking new laptop upon which I will load and edit pics. And write. And listen to tunage. And read. And learn. And create. And shop. And all the other very Robynbird stuff.

YBW decided it wasn’t worth trying to see if he could reboot the old one.
Whole lotta “Bye Felicia.” going on there.
RIP Toshiba.

Dell, I think this is the beginning…well, y’all know the rest…

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all time favorite movies

Thing C and I were talking about movies yesterday when we went to lunch. It started with MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) and kind of morphed into what movies we love most and why.
I spent more time considering this than I probably should have. It took the better part of the afternoon, but I’d already run errands, accompanied Thing C to get his hair cut and done all my laundry, so what the hell? Right?

I maneuvered the movies back and forth on this list, wheedling it down to the absolute bare minimum.
I’ve organized them by release date because I simply couldn’t rank them from least to most favorite. Though honestly, Butch and Sundance is my absolute favorite movie.

Robynbird’s all time favorite movie list:
Please watch responsibly.

1939 The Wizard of Oz
wizard of oz
This was my favorite when I was a little girl.
I see it now through jaded eyes, but it doesn’t change how I feel about it. The Scarecrow is the character I love most and not just because he has the best song. Margaret Hamilton is deliciously unnerving as the Witch of the West. It takes a stubborn girl not to be frightened into giving up her shoes.
There really is no place like home.
Years ago, I had a VHS of this movie on the shelf. When Thing 1 was small, she would stand underneath it and say: I want to watch the witch and the shoes.
This was the tiny picture at the bottom of the box.
images

1940 The Philadelphia Story
philadelphia story
This is sophisticated “screwball comedy”. Not as slapstick like Bringing up Baby, (which I dearly love) the humor here is in the dialogue. The wit and delivery of the words bring every bit of fun! George Cuckor’s direction makes what could be a clunky movie from a stage play perfectly delightful. One of my favorite and often quoted lines is the “hearthfires and holocaust” speech.
P.S. Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart on one screen? Yes please!

1955 To Catch a Thief
to catch a thief
I love every moment of this movie. Hitchcock had a brilliant plan and executed it perfectly.
Cary Grant as sassy as he can be. Grace Kelly’s Francie is as cool as a cucumber, but you know she’s wild on the inside. Jessie Royce Landis steals the show as Francie’s mother, Jessie.
It’s a little trick of a story, Hitchcock himself called it “lightweight”. But it is engaging, you know John Robie is innocent and you want to see him clear his name. Oh! Not to mention the setting is it’s own character! And the costumes!
To Catch a Thief has my favorite Hitchcock cameo appearance of all his films.
hitchcock bus

1959 Some Like it Hot
some like it hot
Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in drag might be one of the comically grotesque things in the history of film! This movie is a hilarious romp of comedy and gangster movie all rolled into one. Tony Curtis with that Cary Grant-esque accent as “Shell Oil”! Too much.
One of my favorite movie lines. “It’s like Jello on springs.”

But Joe E. Brown takes steals the show with the blindfolded tango and the very end scene. “Well, nobody’s perfect.”

1961 The Parent Trap
parent trap
I fell in love with this movie the first time I saw it when I was a little girl! Haley Mills was just precious as Susan and Sharon. Maureen O’Hara is a Goddess! Brian Keith is the kind of dad everyone would love. I especially adore their grandfather, Charles. He susses out the switch and aids and abets in not only getting the girls back together again, but lights a fire under his daughter Maggie to update her image before going to California. (Maybe I just have a soft spot for grandfathers.)
I’m mad about the costumes! And how cute are the opening titles? Those little cherubs! I just can’t!
This movie has some issues with script, but the cast makes up for it. I love it now with the same love I had the first time I saw it. It’s just precious.

1969 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
butch and sundance
“Who are those guys?”
Paul Newman and Robert Redford.
I don’t even know where to begin. This is, without a doubt, my favorite movie of all time. It’s a movie about best friends, brothers even. Sure, it’s based on real people, but it’s kind of a ‘road trip’ movie. These two guys have genuine affection for each other. They will do whatever it takes to have each other’s back. Even when they’re injured and out-gunned, they’re still making plans about where to go and what to do next…together.
It has some of the best lines in all of movie-dom!
Boy I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals. ~ You know, when I was a kid, I always thought I’d grow up to be a hero. Well, it’s too late now. ~ You just keep thinkin’ Butch, that’s what you’re good at. ~ Don’t you get sick of being right all the time?
I honestly say, “Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?” at least once a week.

1985 Out of Africa
out of africa
It’s long. It drags. It sugarcoats Karen Blixen’s memoirs. But my God, is it gorgeous visually! I love the way it looks. Meryl Streep is extraordianry. Robert Redford is, well, Robert Redford. But I love him, so what are you going to do? This movie at once overwhelms and disappoints, but it’s still one of my favorites.

1993 Dazed and Confused
dazed and confused
I think Richard Linklater is terribly underrated. He has a knack for getting to the heart of his characters. This film is all about the characters and the way they relate to each other. I love character heavy movies. I love seeing the way all the people relate to each other. In this movie, the people are high school students on the last day of school 1976. Rising seniors wreaking unholy hazing havoc on rising freshmen. Parker Posey saying, “Wipe that face off your head, bitch.” always amuses me. Sports politics regarding drug culture. Beginnings and endings of relationships. The origin of Matthew McConaughey’s “Alright alright alright.” And Rory Cochrane as Ron Slater is not to be missed. His comic timing is completely on point.
This is my favorite scene.

I knew boys like this growing up. Only their vice was Jack Daniels “cleverly” disguised in Pepsi bottles.

1997 Hercules
Meg and Wonder Boy
Who put the “glad” in gladiator?
Hercules is my most beloved Disney animated movie, and that is saying so much!
I’ve always loved Greek Mythology. I love gospel music.
The story doesn’t quite match up with the myths the way we know them. But that doesn’t matter, because we’re rooting for Hercules to get back to Mt Olympus.
James Woods as Hades is the sassiest Disney villain ever! It’s hard to watch him lose.
I can quote this movie from start to finish. I know all the songs. It is a staple in my daily life, not a day goes by that I don’t use some quip or quote from Hercules.

1998 Spice World
Film Title: Spiceworld.
Yeah, I know. But I’ll just sit here and let you judge me.
It’s a hot hot mess of a movie, but it’s just good fun! I love these playful girls. I love their music. The costumes are great. The Spice Bus makes me want one. I’m always amused by the laundry list of celebrity cameos.
Girl Power never looked so campy.

1999 Dogma
dogma
Here’s why I love this movie.
Kevin Smith has a sense of humor about religion.
Alan Rickman as the Metatron.
Jason Lee’s fabulous turn as Azrael .
Alanis Morissette is God.
Chris Rock.
Bartleby and Loki. (Was Wisconsin really that bad?)
And last but not least, the Buddy Christ.
buddy christ

2003 What a Girl Wants
what a girl wants
The cast is better than the script provided. It is decidedly early 2000s. It’s completely predictable. It’s nothing but cute clothes and a fun soundtrack, but I love it. I’ve seen it more times than I can even count. It was a staple in the young lives of my girls.
Amanda Bynes at her most adorable.
Colin Firth playing Colin Firth…until he’s in those leather pants rocking out to Rick Derrigner’s Rock and Roll Hootchie Koo.

2003 Pirates of the Caribbean
The Curse of the Black Pearl
Jack and Will
When I saw the first trailer for this movie, I was like, ‘oh HELL no!’ But then I saw it at home on DVD and the moment it was over, I watched it again.
Johnny Depp makes the movie. Without Captain Jack Sparrow it’s absolutely no fun.
It could and should have been a one off. There was no need for the sequels.

2006 Casino Royale
bond
Two words: Daniel Craig.
This new Bond is a more physical being. Can any of us imagine Roger Moore or Pierce Brosnan parkour-ing all over Madagascar? Maybe Sean Connery…but probably not.
Daniel Craig shows us an entirely new Bond and I like it!

2012 The Avengers
avengers
Written and directed by Joss Whedon you know it’s going to be great! All these actors portraying these iconic comic book characters could have been a hot mess waiting to happen, but they pulled it off. It was a perfect combination of comedy, drama and adventure. The story is engaging even though it’s a little far-fetched. It’s a comic book movie, of course it’s far-fetched. The witty dialogue is what sold me. How many different pop culture references can Tony Stark use as names for the other Avengers?

honorable mentions

1964 Mary Poppins
marry poppins
I don’t remember how old I was when Mommie and I went on a date to see this movie. But I remember being frightened to see it. I distinctly remember standing in front of the movie poster on the side of the Jefferson Theater trying to decide to go in. I don’t know why I was so afraid to see the movie because I fell in love with Mary Poppins in that theater!

1966 How to Steal a Million
how to steal a million
This movie has it all! Art caper, romance, humor and some of the most fabulous costumes in movie history! It’s got the feel of a screwball comedy but looks stylistically modern.
I loved every moment of it.
Audrey is absolute perfection. Peter O’Toole is suave and sassy all in one. Young Eli Wallach cracks me up.

2001 The Anniversary Party
anniversary party
Another movie about how people relate to each other.
It’s a fairly common story…group of friends get together for a dinner party, wackiness ensues, secrets revealed. It’s not quite an ‘Exterminating Angel’ scenario…but these friends and lovers crack under pressure and their soft underbellies are exposed. Not one of them walks away unscathed.
It doesn’t hurt that I adore Alan Cumming.

always quoting

1975 Monty Python and the Holy Grail
holy grail

1988 Bull Durham
candlesticks make a nice gift

1989 When Harry Met Sally
harry and sally

All I can say here is that every single day of my life I say one or more things from each of these films. My girls grew up quoting these movies before they ever even saw them. Thing C and Thing G have begun quoting these films and have only seen one of them.
These words are a part of my daily lexicon. I’d like to thank they Pythons, Ron Shelton, Nora Ephron and Rob Reiner for providing such great one liners.

I’m curious.
What are your favorite films? What movie lines do you use in your daily life?
Let me know.

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how a swollen brain can lighten the load

I’ve had a migraine since the day after my birthday. My birthday was the twelfth of this month. The first day I woke without migraine symptoms was Saturday. Saturday was the twenty-third. So for a solid ten days I suffered a migraine.
I’ve experienced migraines since I was too young to say anything other than ‘my tongue is funny’ and then burst into tears holding my head. (One of my auras is that my tongue and lips go numb.) So I’m pretty adept at dealing with the nausea, light and sound sensitivity, and brain crushing pain. I’ve been on pretty much any over the counter med you can think of and prescription meds from imitrex to percocet.

In addition to this migraine, I had swelling in my brain. (Yes, I know this is a migraine symptom, but for some reason the neurologist assured me it was not related.) Stroke runs in my family. My grandmother dropped dead of an aneurysm in her mid fifties. So I have been…a bit concerned about my brain.
I’m taking toradol for the swelling now. (God, it makes me so nauseous!) I’m trying topamax for the first time. (Arrivederci, my beloved Nectar of the Gods. Diet DP tastes like…well I can’t describe it…but it’s absolutely foul.)

I refused to go down the road paved with “what if”…but I do see the road there…and it makes me anxious. This is the only brain I’m ever going to have. I need it! I need to keep it happy and healthy and definitively unswollen(!), thank you very much!
I’m being mindful about taking good care of my brain. Paying attention to stress and keeping my body healthy so my brain can be healthier.
I’m reminded of Dennis from The Python’s Holy Grail, I’m thirty seven! I’m not old!
I keep thinking, I’m forty four! I’m not old!
I’m about to marry the man I waited my whole life to find. I need to be as healthy as humanly possible! My brain has to get it together and remain the proper size so I can have a wonderful rest-of-my-(REALLY-FREAKING-LONG)-life!

I suggested to YBW I leave my job at the end of summer when “summer camp” is over and this group of children move on to their “PreK” class when “school” starts in the Fall. I suggested this rather randomly, out of the blue when we were otherwise engaged in tedious home improvement tasks in our kitchen with our backs to each other listening to the Nats game on the TV in the next room. Turns out that was exactly what we needed to have that pretty serious conversation. He felt pretty strongly that if the last two weeks were an indication of the way the job impacts my health it was time to move along.
I’ve really not been sick since we’ve been together. I think it scared him a little. I know it scared me, and I’ve lived through ever single one of my sicknesses.

I wrote my resignation letter yesterday and when I signed my name the weight that lifted from my chest surprised me. It was bigger than I had ever realized. I’ve needed to lighten this load for so long.
I’ve told my co-teacher. She cried. I’ve told some other teachers, a couple of parents. I told the assistant director. My director is on her honeymoon. She and I will have a conversation when she returns.

I believe I made the best choice for me. For my good health. For my family. And even for the families of the children I teach. I can be with them until they would leave me anyway. (As long as my brain holds out.)
I feel peaceful in my decision.
I feel my body figuring out how to heal itself.
My brain and I have spent every single moment of the last forty four years together we need to keep up the good work.

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OBX 8.13.10 7:22 am EDT

I decided to share with you an old journal entry that I especially love.

It’s funny to me what solitude looks like.
I’ve left five people sleeping to come sit on the beach with my journal on the off chance I’ll find some peace.
Now I’m not the only human on the beach this morning, but there are precious few and they all seem to be walking idly by as I sit in my duck jammie pants in my low canvas chair.

I’ve become completely distracted with two little sandpipers running so quickly on their little bird feet in that timeless dance with the tide, pick pick picking at the tiny air bubbles to find a bit of sand crab breakfast. The first bird found a pretty big crab and carried it up the beach just past where the tide could reach immediately set it down and began to poke and pick at it, when she seemed to have gotten her fill she left the shell and skibbled off to see what else she could find.
I’m watching several of these quick little birds pecking the bubbly wet sand probing with their long slender beaks extracting shell after shell filled with their yummy crab breakfast, but all these birds are eating the entire thing, only that one little bird left the shell. I find myself wondering if that’s why she is so much smaller than the others I see this morning.

A little further up the beach a school of fish seems to have washed up and become beached the cool morning sunlight reflecting hundreds of silver flashes as they flip and flop gasping for water to breathe.
The waves that so cruelly deposited them on the sand come back just enough to tease them, to let them breathe for just a moment before moving back into the sea. Some of these little fish have been able to make their way back into the ocean but the ones left on the sand gasp and flounder once more.
I’m equally horrified and amazed by this scene, part of me needs to get up run down there and just start chucking fish into the sea, another part of me knows it will solve itself one way or another as it has done since the dawn of time. A young woman stopped and began to throw the fish back into the water…until the seagulls came…and then she covered her head and ran a bit up the beach before she looked back and slowed her escape.
The seagulls are overjoyed at the open buffet. They swoop down to grab a snack and move away a bit before enjoying the spoils, this goes on for quite some time and then as quickly as the scavengers came…they are gone.
There is no more silver flashing in the sun, and I am reminded of John Cleese and Michael Palin…those are “ex-fish”.

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