Posts Tagged With: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

What IS the appropriate idiom in this situation?

Yesterday my computer bought the farm.
Is that idiom even appropriate in this situation? I think not.
Honestly, I’d be better off saying my computer committed suicide.
Just up and died. Couldn’t even be bothered to leave a note.

The Pythons in my brain did an entire sketch about it.

“‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This computer is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-COMPUTER!!”

(Now that’s a load of idioms!)

To say I was frustrated would be an understatement. Have y’all heard the expression “I’m about as frustrated as a crackhead without a lighter.”? Yeah…that was me.

Everything was lost. Every. Single. Thing.
All the words I’ve written in the last how-ever-many years.
All the music I’ve spent my lifetime accumulating.
All the photos I’ve taken in the last six years.

I was actually planning to back up all my stuff but my external hard drive is still filled with music for Thing 2 and I thought I had time…
A Willow quote comes to mind. “Irony’s kind of ironic that way.”
Even though this isn’t really irony.

I felt like Carrie Bradshaw.

My precious husband immediately stopped what he was doing and devoted his entire day to trying to suss out what he could salvage. Seriously y’all, that sweet man spent the whole damn day trying to rescue my photos, writing, and music.
I got after researching new computers on my ipad (mini).
A couple hours later, he was feeling pretty confident that he’d been able to get my documents and music, and was seeing what he could do to recover my photos.
HOORAY!
The day was saved…thanks to…the Powerpuff Girls!

No no no!
The day was saved…thanks to…YBW!

I then presented him with a couple laptops I thought I’d like. With a little ‘computer guru’ advice and some tweaking of what I thought I wanted, we narrowed it down to a choice of three. Braving the frigid temperatures, we went to Micro Center. Turns out after typing on all three, the one I thought I most wanted was the I liked least. (Y’all hear Willow’s voice again too, right?)

Today, I have a brand spanking new laptop upon which I will load and edit pics. And write. And listen to tunage. And read. And learn. And create. And shop. And all the other very Robynbird stuff.

YBW decided it wasn’t worth trying to see if he could reboot the old one.
Whole lotta “Bye Felicia.” going on there.
RIP Toshiba.

Dell, I think this is the beginning…well, y’all know the rest…

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thanks Joss

Friday, March 10 marked the twentieth anniversary of the premiere of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Now, I’m talking about the television show, not the feature film. The film was not at all what Joss intended. Lucky for us, we had seven years of Buffy on TV to experience his vision.
(Though in all honesty, I could have done without most of the last season…the potentials nearly ruined everything for me.) 

This is not the first time I’ve written of my love of Joss Whedon. From Buffy to The Avengers, I’m a whore for his use of language, for his ability to really get down to the grit of what it’s like to be human. His unique way of looking at the world and our place in it is why there are legions of Whedonites on the planet…and these ‘Big Damn Heroes’ (ain’t we just) helped create a feature film from a canceled television show.
“We did the impossible, and that makes us mighty.”

Celebrating twenty years of Buffy got me thinking about Joss’ shows. I’ve seen the complete series of Buffy more than a handful of times, Firefly possibly eight times (easy to do when it’s only fourteen episodes), and Angel from start to finish twice, and a few more of individual episodes.
There are “definitive ranking” lists out there of all Whedonverse characters, lists broken down by show, and lists of secondary characters. It can be fascinating reading, it can cause great debate, These idiots rate Giles below Adelle DeWitt. (WTF?) And this guy pulled characters out of his bum to create the number 117. (can’t handle the odd number)

In celebrating twenty years of Buffy, I put together my own ranking of Whedonverse characters from Buffy, Angel and Firefly. With a bonus character honorable mention. No ranking other than my own personal affection for the characters.
Here’s my most beloved Joss Whedon characters.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander

“The one who sees everything”, Xander truly is the heart of the Scoobies. His honest love and genuine kindness keeps you rooting for him even when he does boneheaded things. Xander is the only Scooby sans superpowers, he doesn’t need them, his quiet strength supports them all. He also has some of the best lines in the entire seven seasons.

Spike

I’m a Spuffy shipper x infinity. But even before that story line became a thing, I loved Spike. His brash irreverence. His complete disregard for…well, anything really makes him deliciously fun! Even as a demon without a soul, he still has the heart of a poet, he has a real capacity for love.

Giles

I love Giles.
That is all.

Willow

Shy and smart, Willow could have been a sad, stereotypical high school nobody. But once she flashed that smile, all bets were off. She really kind of was the audience, if it happened to Willow, or Willow believed it, it happened to us or we believed it. The whole magic as metaphor for being gay seemed acceptable to me, but later when it was a metaphor for addiction, well I feel like that slapped us upside the head. And Willow’s character development in season seven leaves me disappointed.

Faith

What if you were the chosen one but didn’t have the love and support of family and friends? Faith tells this story. I love this character. I love her flaws. I love her story of being seduced by the darkness and her decision to seek redemption. Faith never got enough credit for doing the job she never asked for. I think she and Buffy could have really become soul sisters if they kept trying.

Buffy

The girl with an “inferiority complex about her superiority complex”. Buffy is at once likable, relatable, and ‘every girl’ but she’s also whiny, selfish, and dramatic as all hell. This is actually why she really is all of us. The phrase ‘What Would Buffy Do’ exists for a reason, y’all. I think it’s hard to be the titular character of any work of art, and though she’s a bit annoying, she’s our connection to Sunnydale and we’d be worse off without her.

It’s just funny.

Angel
Cordelia

In Sunnydale, Cordy was just a mean girl. But then she began to develop as a character, she became one of the Scoobies she was the voice of the audience asking WTF? and expressing “I don’t see what this has to do with me.” On Angel, the character really came into her own. Cordelia’s arc was a beautiful thing to watch. (we’re going to disregard season 4 here, people) She offered desperately needed sarcasm and her own special brand of heroism.

Wesley

Wesley has the best character development in the whole of the Buffyverse.
That is all.

Lorne

It ain’t easy being green.
It seems to me that Lorne began as a plot device, (he can read your aura while you sing?) But he became an integral member of ‘Angel Inc’ in his own right. I like how Lorne is the sort of ‘Jiminy Cricket’ of the group. He was quick to question motives and outcomes when it’s clear someone should do. His disillusion in the way Angel goes about ‘fighting the good fight’ is palpable and in it we see he’s lost a bit of himself. His ‘one last thing’ line breaks my heart.

Angel

Angel became so much more enjoyable when he got his own show. Less whiny, broody ‘woe is me’ than on Buffy. We got to see Angel’s wry humor and his teeny bit of playfulness. He never stops searching for his redemption however questionable his methods can be.

Fred

Fred is more than a damsel in distress. She’s more than a physics whiz. She’s the little sister of Angel Investigations, hence, the little sister of us all. Fred is kind of the Willow of Angel with her gentle ways but fierceness when it comes to fighting for what she believes in.

Gunn

From start to finish, Gunn went farthest from where he was, yet never really changed who he was. The character as written wouldn’t have been as good or believable without the actor’s nuanced performance. Gunn is one of those guys you want to kick in the head and hug at the same time.

Love how no one takes himself too seriously.

Firefly
Mal

Flawed up one side and down the other, this man never stops trying to what it takes to keep his crew flying. His heart is in the right place though his motives are sometimes…um…curious. Mal is dedicated to the people he loves and doing what is ‘right’ in his own twisted way.

Jayne

His name may be girlie, but he surely is not. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you want him on your side in a fight. Keeping him on your side might be a bit trickier. He goes where the most money is. He looks out for number one. Jayne isn’t afraid of saying or doing something stupid, though he’s not always aware that he appears stupid. Yet, when it really matters, he could make the “smart choice” and he really is somewhat lovable.

Wash

I’ve written of my love of Wash and Zoe more than once.
Wash ranks above Zoe only because I think he’s funnier than she is.

Zoe

I love this bad ass warrior woman.

I love the portrayal of a happily married couple. That isn’t to say that they don’t have their issues, but they share strong genuine love and humor.

River

When it comes to River, we start with questions and are left with questions. She is something to watch though, her chronic confusion and brief moments of lucidity are absolutely beautiful. I especially love the scene in Shindig where she dresses down Badger and then says, “Call me if anyone interesting shows up.” over her shoulder as she walks away.

Kaylee

Kaylee is voice of optimism and love aboard Serenity. She keeps her flying even when the “catalyzer on the port compression coil blew”. She is the light they need on that ship, she is the heart of the crew. Nothing in the ‘vers can keep our Kaylee from being cheerful.

We should all have this much fun at work.

Honorable Mention
Dollhouse
Topher

The neural science genius of the LA Dollhouse, Topher is as self-centered and glib as your average middle schooler. He’s completely amoral and arrogant and cares nothing for the humanity of the people he helps program. However one might question his morals and actions, he’s a delight to watch.
This comment from Adelle sums up Topher perfectly.
“The cold reality is that everyone here was chosen because their morals have been compromised in some way. Everyone, except you. You, Topher, were chosen because you had no morals. You have always thought of people as playthings. This is not a judgment. You’ve always taken very good care of your toys, but you’re simply going to have to let this one go.”

Thanks, Joss, for all these outstanding characters. Thanks to the team of writers who follow Joss into the fray. Thanks to the actors who brought these characters to life, they would be nothing without you. If you’re not a Whedonite, that’s OK…you have time. If you’ve never seen any of these shows, you’re in luck! They’re all on Netflix. Check them out!
If you are a fan, I’d love to hear your thoughts on your favorite Whedon characters. Let me know in the comments.

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going through the motions

I have friends who’ve recently expressed their joy at my being in their lives. That I bring light and love and colors dancing into their worlds.
It should be a lovely feeling, knowing that I’m positively impacting the lives of people I care about. Only right now, I’m not feeling it.
I am not feeling terribly colorful at all.
Mostly I feel gray. I feel gray and dull. No color in my world. No sparkle.

I hardly even have the emotional energy to write this blog post.
I went to bed at 5:00 yesterday afternoon and woke about 7:30 this morning.
sleep
Sleep isn’t the answer.

I don’t know where my energy goes.
Is there some weird sort of vampiric thief of my positive energy? Something that sucks all the colors from my world? Is the energy I put out into the world simply consumed?
I’ve always felt what I put into the world comes back at me magnified. Therefore loads of sparkling color should be coming back at me.

I wrote recently about my intention for my life. I wrote of love. That I intend to live my life with love. That was the last time I felt truly positive. That isn’t to say I haven’t had moments of enjoying life, because I have…but there is an overall sense of nothing that’s bigger than the moments I’m engaged in something or with someone.

I’m apprehensive about using the word depression. But it seems to me it’s the word that makes the most sense. I’m not ‘just sad’. I feel numb. Though when I do feel, sadness is something that bubbles up to the surface. I know enough about depression to know what I’m feeling is something other than ‘just sad’. I’ll be journaling about this.

I don’t want to be an empty shell of a girl.
I want to be all fiery red hair and sassy verbiage and intentional love.

Like Buffy, I’m weary of going through the motions.

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walk off

YBW and I went to the Nats game last night.
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We bought $5 same day tickets up in the 400 section. This isn’t where we normally sit…but last night was more about the giveaway than being at the game.
Last night was the “fan choice” Michael A Taylor bobblehead.
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Michael A is YBW’s favorite Nat. He had an AMAZING spring training and then faltered when they came home to Nationals Park. So much so that he was sent back down to Syracuse. He was called back up a week or so ago..he’s got talent, but he’s green. Only more practice will enable him to fulfill his potential.
I entered the park before YBW because I was in the fast line, the woman at the turnstile gave me my bobblehead and told me Michael A was signing them in the fan store. I wanted to kiss her! I told her she made my whole night! I told her my husband was going to be “pants peeing” excited! So we went over to the line at the fan store and as we walked up, the guy said, “I’ve cut off the line to make sure everyone gets their bobblehead signed.”
I went into “momma lioness” mode. Seriously, please let my husband meet Michael A!
Nopity nope. (Big meanie jerk. He’s one of Jenna Marbles’ “People that need to pipe the f**k down”.)
As it turns out it didn’t matter that we didn’t get in line to have the bobble head signed. We went into the fan store and waited patiently. Sure enough Michael A walked right past YBW and gave him five! I have no photo of this because a very tall and extremely rude man stood slap in front of me. (He needed to “pipe the f**k down” too. I did elbow him when I moved…hard. Then I turned with the most horrified look on my face and apologized. He was all smiles…jackass.)
But I did sneak a pic of Michael A as he sat down, so go me!
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I got my nachos and we made our way to our seats.
It was hot and I was sweaty, but the sky was pretty!
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We were hosting the Phillies. Now, in my experience, Philadelphia fans are the worst fans on the eastern seaboard…probably in the entire US. The football fans are worse than that baseball fans and the hockey fans are worse than the football fans. The Phillies fans come here to our beautiful ballpark and act like a bunch of dicks.
It’s just bad manners, you know?

Luckily, there were no Phillies fans near us. Only some seriously die hard Nats fans.
That said, it was the longest, most boring game in my baseball experience. And I spent years watching my brother play little league!
Left fielder, Jayson Werth (Thing 2’s favorite Nat, we call him the “Greasy Hobo”) wasn’t feeling the first two innings. At least he wasn’t wearing his glove on his head as he sometimes does when he’s bored.
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Let me tell you, I freaking LOVE baseball and I was bored to tears…
This is how I spent my time…snapchatting Sundance, Thing 2, and Thing C.
Sundance has declared that second baseman, Daniel “Hits” Murphy will be her third husband. He replaced MVP Bryce Harper for that title, pretty much because she grew weary of Harp’s shenanigans…and the fact that Murph is a freaking amazing ball player!
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As much as I love Thing 2’s Hobo, my baseball heart beats for first baseman, Ryan Zimmerman.
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Ugh. This game was just as long and tedious as the portion of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I like to call “Harry Potter and the Never Ending Camping Trip.”
Last night I sent this text to Sundance: #washingtonnationalsandtheneverendinggame
The game was scoreless till the fourth inning. Philly scored at the top of the inning but we scored at the bottom. So we’re still tied, but at least it’s 1-1 now and no longer 0-0.
After cheering, I went back to snapchatting.
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Fifth inning was scoreless. The Hobo was just cooling his heels out in left field.
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Y’all heard that in ‘Vampire Willow’s’ voice too, right?

We were up 4-1 at the bottom of the seventh.
Alright! This game finally got interesting. Not because we were winning, but because we were finally making plays, we’re scoring runs. (Well, maybe it was a teeny bit good because the Phillies were losing. F**k the Phillies.) Anyway, that only lasted a moment because there was a Phillies three run homer in the top of the eighth inning.
Now we’re tied 4-4 in the middle of the eighth.

Have I mentioned we need a freaking bullpen? UGH! These pitchers! The very talented Joe Ross on the DL. Stephen “Crybaby” Strasburg (looks like freaking Shaggy from Scooby Doo) just got signed for seven more years but can’t stay off the DL. Gio is the least consistent damn thing. I mean when he’s on, he’s hot. But when he’s off he can’t pitch more than four innings.
Do you understand what I just said? The starting pitcher can’t pitch more than FOUR FREAKING INNINGS!?!
Roark is talented and becoming more and more consistent.
So pretty much the only pitcher we can truly rely on is Max Scherzer.
(Scherzer is Thing C’s favorite player.)
And don’t even get me started on the relief pitchers! We’ve got a couple good ones…but then we’ve got crap.
Anyway…bullpen rant over.

Even though going to the game last night was all about getting YBW his bobble head and not really about being at the game, it always sucks when your team loses…or when games go into extra innings. Especially when you’re a cranky red haired girl who’s already tired and hot and sweaty and bored. (I swear to you I’m an adult even though right now I don’t sound like one.)

But miracle of miracles is rookie Trea Turner. This kid is a phenom! He saved us from extra innings with his walk off second home run of the game.
Boring game, but we won. More importantly YBW got his Michael A bobblehead and slapped five.
Ain’t baseball great!?!

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anywhere but here

You ever have one of those moments when you’re just feeling that sense of “I can’t even”?
Nothing’s wrong really. Life is shiny. But you’re restless and hankering for a change of scenery.
When that happens to me, (and dear, sweet baby Jesus, does it happen) I like to play a little game called Anywhere But Here.
Now I can’t take credit for this particular game, I stole it from Joss Whedon’s writers room. Buffy and Willow play this game in season 2 Episode 8 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Here’s their Anywhere But Here (please take into account this episode aired November 10, 1997):

Buffy: I’m on a beach, but not one of those American beaches, one of those island beaches where the water’s way too blue, and I’m laying on my towel, and it’s just before sunset, and Gavin Rossdale’s massaging my feet!
Willow: Oh, that’s good! Uh, I’m in Florence, Italy, I’ve rented a scooter that’s parked outside, and I’m in a little restaurant eating ziti, and there are no more tables left, so they have to seat this guy with me, and it’s John Cusack!
Buffy: Ooo! Very impressive. You have such an eye for detail.
Willow: ‘Cause with the ziti!
Xander: What are you two up to?
Buffy: Just having a quick game of ‘Anywhere But Here’.
Xander: Ooohhh. Amy Yip at the waterslide park.
Willow: You never come up with anything new.
Xander: I’m just not fickle like you two, okay? I’m constant in my affections. Amy Yip at the waterslide park!

My ‘Anywhere But Here’ oftentimes involves a cottage in a tiny cove with white sand and clear blue water. It’s tiny but perfect with a large sleeping porch facing the water. I created this cottage out of thin air for a different original purpose but fell so deeply in love with it that any lingering association flew quickly by the wayside.
Occasionally my “Anywhere But Here’ is something more involved like the Orient Express from Paris to Istanbul or whimsical like going to “Harry Potter Land”.

I’m curious if any of y’all ever feel restless like that, and if so, where is your ‘Anywhere But Here’?

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cocoon thoughts

Yesterday was adventurous.
I woke with a headache I couldn’t shake and a great deal of nausea. Had the indescribable “joy” of a blow out (tire not hair) on the way to babysit for a family I absolutely adore. (I look after them on Mondays. It’s my new favorite thing.)
Even though I was struggling, it turns out we had a good day. I was actually able to read one book. (Normally we read every bit of ten or more books.) I sat outside in the warm sun while they played. I even drew a chalk picture in the driveway. We did watch more television than we normally do, but that made it easier for me. Sometimes that’s just what’s up.

I came home and ate a bit of dinner, but even that didn’t really help my head so I got in the tubby. YBW was going to bed when I got out. I knew I wouldn’t sleep properly so I went downstairs to “Thing 2’s room” to lie slap in the middle of my old bed.

I had enough fioricet in me to ease the discomfort long enough to fall asleep but I was awake at three. Not ‘wide awake and bushy tailed’, but awake enough that pretty much every indiscriminate thought I ever had showed up for consideration.
A selective sample:
Oh, I love being in the middle of this bed! I didn’t realize how much I miss sleeping in my cocoon.

Wow! Thing 1 will be twenty two tomorrow, the same age I was when she was born.

Wonder if Sundance is awake right now.

Why doesn’t bacon cook itself? Bacon must have been the food of the Gods. They ate bacon and drank diet Dr Pepper up there on Mt Olympus for sure.

I wish Thing 2 was here.

Who put the ‘glad’ in gladiator? (this immediately lead to) Let’s go see N’s family. (my friends in AZ)

Why does it smell like Grandaddy’s house in here?

Man, VBCC used to be fun. Gotta call (my friend and mentor) J back.

Sweet Jesus! What if Donald Trump becomes our president? Wonder how hard it would be to emigrate to Canada? The U.K. would be better but across the ocean is too far away from the kids. Thing 2 wants to move to Canada anyway.

Wish we had some cereal in the house, I’m hungry.

Lunch with Little D and his daddy today.

Perhaps I should go upstairs and get in bed with YBW.

Why did Buffy love Angel so much? Take your tormented soul elsewhere, you whiny, mopey complainer.

This thought process went on for a little while before I finally rolled over and thought: Ugh! Just go back to sleep, you ridiculous girl!
And I did.

This morning I realized it smells like Grandaddy’s house in that room because there are still things in the closet that came from his house but I didn’t realize that in the middle of the night.
I also realized it reminded me of that Alanis song, These R the Thoughts.
Guess we all have them.

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celeb crushes

We all have them.
However unrealistic they may be, there is that one guy or girl that just rings your bell.
I’ve always been partial to light haired, light eyed guys. Built sturdy, but not beefy. I prefer them kind of lanky…almost feline.

When I was a very small girl, my celeb crush was Shaun Cassidy. I loved that Joe Hardy something fierce. I even had a poster of him in my room.
joe hardy
I was not yet in second grade. It was the late 1970s and I thought I knew what was up even then.

When I was a little older it was John Schneider. It was the 1980s and Friday night meant the Dukes of Hazzard! I remember lying on the floor in the living room propped up on pillows watching the Duke boys outwit Roscoe P. Coltrane week after week. He had the most adorable smile AND he was good at archery!
bo duke

In the 1990s there was a new “blondie” for me to crush on. Not a natural blonde…but that doesn’t really matter.
spike
Oh Spike. My all time favorite vampire baddy.
And he was punk to boot! (As Buffy assures the bouncer, “Billy Idol actually stole the look from him.”)
spike.2

Now I’m all grown up, so is my celeb crush.
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I cant’ even. That thing he does with his lower lip when he’s playing vulnerable. Gah! It gets me every time!
Would I leave YBW if Daniel Craig came knocking?
…no…

I obviously have a type. (What? I’m as much predictable as I am enigma.)
But what’s kind of interesting about my crushes is that I’ve ended up with a real guy who resembles this collection of celebrities.
Light hair. (Well it’s gotten darker as he’s become an adult, but he started out very blonde indeed.)
Blue eyes.
Tall.
Built kind of lanky. (Well, like me he’s porked up a teeny bit in the last few years…I hear that’s what happens when you’re happy.)

When I asked YBW who his number one celeb crush is this is who he told me:
zooey-deschanel-435
Just so you know, Zooey Deschanel and I look absolutely NOTHING alike.
I’m much more Bette Midler in the 1970s. All nose and teeth and frizzy red hair. (But not that much make up.)
bette
(I swear it’s true.)

I’ll get to see my Daniel Craig revise his role as James Bond after we come home from our honeymoon. YBW can watch his Zooey Deschanel play that quirkiest of girls, Jessica Day on New Girl starting again sometime this fall.
We’ll crush on them like crazy.

But I have a real boy to crush on. And he crushes on me. So much so that we’ve decided to get hitched.
I don’t need a poster on my wall. I have the real thing right next to me.
(Yeah, I know…it’s nauseating. I just roll with it.)

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