Posts Tagged With: life’s what you make it

tenacity in her DNA

Been thinking about Thing 2.
Concerned she’s not really getting her life together. She’s employed, sometimes happily, sometimes miserably. (But, aren’t we all?) I’ve been concerned about her emotional well being. And the well being of Boyfriend J. I worry for them. I know what it’s like to feel trapped. To feel defeated and how easy it is to let that consume you.

And then the other day, she shared that her dear friend Jimmy is going through so much with his mom and her health, and then suddenly she suffered a stroke and is in a vegetative state with no real hope of improvement.
Thing 2 expressed how hard it is to feel helpless when all she wants to do in the world is help her friend and his sweet mom through this moment in their lives.

I began to consider everything my baby daughter has been through in the last year or so.
I’ve seen her hold the hand of her dearest friend after the sudden and surprising suicide of his father.
I’ve seen her rush to the home of her sister and brother in law because the latter specifically requested her presence after the loss of their baby.
I’ve seen her be there for Jimmy even though she’s not sure how to be other than to “throw hugs and beer at him”.

This young woman has demonstrated a level of strength and support that most seasoned adults don’t always successfully handle. She is handling her own complicated emotional feelings, as well as for the people she loves. She’s been tremendously responsible for the people she loves.
So I feel like I need to stop and breathe a little bit. I need to realize she’s doing things with her time and life that are important, even if they’re not actively furthering her “getting it together”.
The thought she’s using these things as avoidance for dealing with getting her life together crossed my mind, and it’s a very Thing 2 sort of way to function, but after talking with her today I feel like she’s working hard to get herself together as well as supporting and loving her people.

She’s learning how to ‘adult’ and I think she’s kind of digging it!

I told her not giving up is hard af but it’s more worth it than she even understood. And this superhero feeling is why!

Of course there will be days when she’s not feeling especially superheroish, but now that she has, she’ll remember it and be more inclined to keep going when the going gets tough. Not quitting when life gets hard is part of growing up. Feeling accomplished and empowered when you persevere is the reward. She’ll remember that now that she’s experienced it.
She doesn’t remember fighting for her life as a new baby. She doesn’t remember how hard she worked to stay healthy. My girl is a fighter! She’s got a strength and tenacity down deep in her. She’s seeing evidence of that now. This time, she’ll remember.
Everyone needs their ‘I did it!’ moments.

I told her I knew she had it in her, that she knew she had it in her and just needed to be reminded.
She wrote: “Really I didn’t want to “brag” to you about how everything is working out (albeit in its own silly Thing 2 way) and make you feel, well, I don’t know what I was afraid of, but it’s nice to hear that you’re rooting for me (and us)” (Us being her and Boyfriend J)
“And I know you always are and will be, but I feel like recognizing it.
You gave me my tenacity.
And I am eternally grateful (heart emoji)

I told her that her tenacity is in her very DNA and I’m just here to remind her.

She replied: “I love you. Thank you for being the best momma, and for being an incredible human aside from your fierce momma-ness”

I shared with her that YBW and I had been talking about how she’s doing, and I shared with him about where and how she is and what she’s doing for her friends. That he’s been loving and supportive in our conversations about her. That even though they’re relationship is a bit tricky, he’s on her side.

She replied:

(This is one of my new favorite Robynbird/YBW analogies. I’m totally the cereal and he’s absolutely the fruit and nut mix.)

That’s the second time this week one of those girls told me they appreciated me.
Thing 1 did it on Thursday in a text message that read: “You’re a great mom. So you know”
And that creates nice warm fuzzy feelings in me.
My own ‘I did it!’ moment!

I built the foundation.
They’re in charge of construction now.
I’m going to worry…I don’t know how to not…but I see what’s being built, and I’m feeling comfortable and confident for them.

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Categories: on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

my freak flag flies

Here’s some of what makes my weird little heart happy.

books
currently reading:
Noir by Christopher Moore
in the queue:
Hold Still by Sally Mann
The Balcony by Jane Delury
Funny Girl by Nick Hornby
Too Much and Not the Mood by Durga Chew-Bose
The Dinner Party by Joshua Ferris
You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams by Alan Cumming

monograms

I honestly want to stick my monogram on everything I possibly can!

journals

I have no words to successfully convey my love of books to fill with my writing.

cloth napkins

music
current playlist:
Rufus Wainwright
Paolo Nutini
The Kills (always)
The Devil Makes Three
Alice Merton
Tori Vasquez

railroad spikes

Doesn’t matter where I am, if there’s a railroad near, I’m going to hunt for spikes.

food network and HGTV shows
Beat Bobby Flay
Iron Chef America
The Next Iron Chef
Home Town
Good Bones
Rehab Addict

school/office supplies

Sharpies. Gel pens. Mechanical pencils. Colored pencils. Crayola crayons. Ballpoint pens. Funky scissors. Legal pads and spiral notebooks.

random things
porch life
my Naked Mountain Winery tee with the outline of Virginia
nail polish
cracking crab legs and peeling shrimp at the seafood joint
organizational items
James Cordon’s Carpool Karaoke
movie theater popcorn
magnets and stickers
robin’s egg blue
baseball
the freckles on my knees
rainbows
random tv/movie/song quotes
MLP:FiM
super sharp kitchen knives
the ballet
brand new mascara
a perfect BLT
switching out my bag
popping a bottle of bubbly
robin birds
my bitmoji
Cinema Sins ‘Everything Wrong With’ vids
central air (no pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater than)
playground swings

So that’s

I’m curious what strange things make y’alls weird little hearts happy.
Let your freak flag fly in the comments!

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

the trick is knowing how to look for it

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I came across this Jac Vanek quote on Pinterest (I think? Maybe?) and I kind of dug it.
It sounds like me. It pretty much encapsulates the way I think and feel about life. We are the sum of our experiences, but I believe it’s how we choose to incorporate them into who we are that really counts.

ferris-life-moves-pretty-fast

Inspiration is all around us.
The trick is knowing how to look for it.

And remember, even Hannah Montana sang,

“Life’s what you make it, so let’s make it rock!”

(You may be having a pretty big WTF? moment right now. Asking yourself why I’m quoting Hannah Montana. Well, the girls were the right age to watch Disney channel shows when they were still fairly decent. The moment I began this post, this song came into my head. Just be glad I didn’t post the video.)

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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