I absolutely adore this song about old friends by this young man, Jordan Topf
This chorus though.
All of the friends I had before
Are raindrops just falling at my doorEvery word you said is just a memory stuck in my head
Like a videotape, it’s just a memory slipping away
Echoes in the dark fading where we are
Every word you said is just a memory stuck in my head
Check out Memory by Windser and let me know what you think.
Please listen responsibly.
Thing 1 is twenty eight today!
Please join me in wishing my very first girl the happiest birthday!
To celebrate the anniversary of her birth we went Sunday evening to see a guy she’s been watching for over twenty years.
We had VIP tickets which admitted us to a small group Q and A before the live show.
Thing 1 asked what was his favorite episode of Good Eats to make.
He told her, “The House That Dripped Chocolate.”
She said, “Oh my God! That gave me nightmares!”
He got all smiley and said, “Really?”
She confirmed and told him it was so creepy.
Then with the most sincere joy, Alton Brown thanked my daughter.
Y’all, she’s gonna hold that forever!
Alton began his Beyond the Eats show by sharing his ‘culinary regrets’. Telling the true story of his five year old self making s’mores for his family with ex lax chocolate he’d found in his visiting aunt’s belongings.
Audience members were invited onstage to play a food quiz game called Eat This.
Today, Thing 1, Baby K, and I will go to lunch and visit our favorite bookshop before they return home to celebrate with Husband N when he gets home from work.
My girl was born on a dark and stormy night this day twenty eight years ago.
She made me a Momma and for that I’m eternally grateful.
Happy Birthday, Bear!
I love you more than the whole wide world!
Friday morning I came downstairs and said FUUUUUCK!
Why? you ask.
Well, because the room was perfect.
What now? you ask.
The guy was coming to finish the installation of the automated black out shades. Which meant the sofa, console table behind the sofa, and a jungle’s worth of plants needed to be moved to allow him room to work.
YBW and I didn’t even think of it before we went to bed Thursday night which left it all to me Friday morning.
I mean:
But that damn sofa is heavy to move all by myself.
I was able to push everything away from the window without messing up the rug (go me!) then waited for the guy to arrive.
Sent this pic to YBW, “So we forgot something last night and I’ll be needing your help when you get home.”
I also sent it in the group chat with the girls.
Thing 2: “You funged the shway!! (phonetic spelling, because I’m not gonna try that)”
Me: “Bahahahahaha!”
I feng(ed) the hell out of the shui, y’all.
But it was so worth it.
Check out the light blocking shades.
Now we can watch TV during daylight hours without glare.
In the grand scheme of things, television glare isn’t that serious, but in the Roby scheme of things, it kind of is (that serious).
YBW’s happy because they’re automated and connected to the smart house hub. I actually prefer the app on my phone, I think it works faster.
I’m happy because there’s no more glare if I want to have the TV on while I eat lunch.
We continue making this house our home.
It doesn’t have to be all at once.
Creating a home takes time.
Creating a home takes care.
We’re on it, y’all!
have (legit won) an Olympic Gold Medal or a Nobel Prize
Nobel Prize (for literature, natch…or maybe peace, because why the hell not?)
have a dog that hummed or a cat that whistled
whistling cat
Except for Izzy, who yowled for her own entertainment, every cat I’ve ever had was pretty quiet so I feel confident that there would only be occasional whistling
have one wish granted today or three wishes granted five years from now
I’ll take my wish now please and thank you
not so much because I’m incapable of delaying my gratification, but because one wish would do me
go camping or go to Las Vegas
camping
and however much I excel at it I cannot express to y’all the passion with which I hate to camp
never be able to wear makeup or only wear one color for the rest of your life
Y’all!
I have blonde eyebrows – I need mascara.
and if I could only ever wear blue or green that would work for me…
What about y’all?
What would you rather?
Time for a game of favorites.
I’m looking at favorite junk foods.
Y’all wanna play?
What’s your:
favorite chip
Route 11 Salt N Vinegar
favorite color Starburst
Y E L L O W
in fact I only like the yellow ones
favorite fast food item
McDonald’s french fries
favorite not chocolate candy
Béquet Confections Celtic Sea Salt caramel
good Lord this caramel is so delectable I could cry
favorite way to eat bacon
by the pound
(at first you chuckle but then you begin to think about it and realize I may not be joking)
What about y’all?
What are some of your favorites?
It’s important (for me) to note that we’re no longer “B-Papa House”. We are now “Birdie-Papa House”.
I’ll admit a teeny bit of sadness. For even when she began to call me Birdie we were still B-Papa House. Those days are no longer, and our grandgirl isn’t really a baby at all anymore.
(not) Baby K’s mom brought her over to our house Friday morning. We were planning to watch the guy install the automated (light-blocking) shades then run to Costco before Thing 1 returned home and Baby K had a nap.
Oh, the best laid plans…
Turns out some of the equipment for the shades was too long and what was meant to take about an hour took several. So we didn’t go over Costco, but we did have lunch together.
Friday evening YBW and I took Baby K to Target.
We went because I needed new markers (for the girl to use) but while we were there we decided to piddledick around and see what was interesting. I mean, it is Target after all.
Did you know if you ask very politely you will be handed all manner of toy/art supply/decor item/ to examine? (follow up question) Did you know if you ask equally politely, each item will be replaced upon the shelf before the next one comes to you in the buggy?
Did you know you can hear an Elsa doll sing ‘Show Yourself’ countless times before you’re ready to put it back on the shelf? Even after Birdie assures you Elsa needs her rest and Papa is ready to be in the Lego aisle.
Did you know that Target has foaming hand sanitizer at the check out and that is VERY exciting?
Did you know that Birdie and Papa will stop on the sidewalk outside of Target for a really really really long time while you look at/point to/have a conversation with (and about) the moon?
A Target run never disappoints.
When we woke on Saturday it was sunny and warm so we decided to go to the playground after breakfast.
Only in the time it took us to have breakfast and get dressed it got cloudy and cooler.
We weren’t dressed quite warmly enough for how windy it became, but we persevered. There were five slides to try, and a rock wall to climb, a ‘dog house’ to howl from and a car to drive.
While Baby K was driving she told us it was time to “Get in you seats. Right here.” while pointing at the steps behind where she stood. YBW and I climbed to structure and sat dutifully on the steps behind her while she drove us around.
Is it just me or does she look like a mom that’s had about enough of our backseat shenanigans?
Sunday morning we woke to snow!
We got all loaded up and buckled in the car and as I began to back out of the garage, the saddest voice you ever heard came from the back seat. “Oh, wanted to go for a walk.”
Well, what could we do but bundle her up as best we could and go for a walk?
Her walk ended with her jumping and splashing in the biggest mud puddle she could find.
All! The! Joy!
Of course then she was wet from her socks to her butt and we had to change her clothes again before getting back in the car.
She ate an entire apple and three cold sausage links in the car on the way home and miraculously stayed awake the whole time, though the last ten minutes was touch and go.
I’m always tired when she goes back home, but I’m always grateful she was here.
Our grandgirl is something else, y’all!
Thing 2 was here!
My Momma joy was SO BIG!
We haven’t seen each other in over a year. It feels so much longer than it sounds.
And what changes that intervening year brought us.
I don’t actually have words to describe the feeling of wrapping my arms around my second daughter.
She was so snuggly! She sat in my lap several times, and we snuggled on the sofa a great deal. I loved that precious and sacred time together.
We had serious talks, deep and wide with emotions, and silly moments of playfulness. We drank bubbly, and beer, and tons of water.
We shopped and laid low. We shared music and shows. We discussed books and gave reading recommendations.
We had a dance party to the Encanto soundtrack with Thing 1 and Baby K.
She, YBW, and I spent good quality time together too.
Being with my girls together.
Being with Baby K and her Auntie.
Having the brothers and sisters all together in one place.
My heart grew three sizes!
Baby K was all about her Aunt Gaga.
She quickly found where she fit ‘just so’ in her lap. She was even patient and still getting her hair did.
When she was here, I realized I’d been waiting for her to come so it would feel like my home. Now that all four of our kids have been here together, I know it is really and truly our home.
I know I’m not explaining that bit properly, but I do know that once she was here, I felt even more so at home here. As though she was the last piece of the puzzle and now the picture is complete.
I absolutely adore having an empty nest when it comes to day to day life, but having my baby here in this house with her siblings and her niece, well, my cup runneth over.
She left Tuesday morning, and I changed beds and did laundry. I was alone in the house, and it was quiet.
I missed her but was not sad.
There was no room in my heart for sadness, it’s still chock full of love and joy and gratitude!
This picture is hanging in every single one of the faculty restrooms at my school.
I don’t know who put them up.
Was it the PTO?
Was it the admins?
Was it the school counselors?
I understand what whoever put them up was trying to do.
Trying to encourage all the adults in the building to embrace what’s good. Look on the bright side.
(my brain has literally become the end of Life of Brian with Eric Idle singing and whistling. “Cheer up you old bugger.” forgive me, I digress…)
As I was saying…
In concept I understand the good intention.
In reality this photo pisses me off.
I mean truly makes me seethe every single time I see it.
This is the most disrespectful bunch of toxic positivity crammed in the faces of women and men who are doing the absolute best under some pretty complex circumstances.
First and foremost how dare you?
Secondly, nobody wants to be a teacher unless they’re a teacher. And to be perfectly fucking honest, sometimes not even then! Such a thankless day to day existence. We are doing the best we can in an absolute crap situation. Every single one of us is here for the kids. And the fact that someone has the audacity to suggest our underappreciated-crap-pay-micromanaged-by-non-educators-government-mandated-in-such-a-way-as-to-take-the-joy-out-of-it-at-every-turn employment is somehow being dreamed about?
And don’t even get me started on the one about a smile and depression.
Fuck you, dude.
“Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity. Find something to be grateful for”
Imma say it again for good measure.
Fuck you, dude.
This toxic positivity disgusts me!
Here’s a simple definition if you’re unfamiliar with the term.
This assumption that no matter what’s going on in one’s life, ‘other people have it worse’.
If that’s not toxic I don’t know what is.
One assumes that ‘others have it worse’ because they only see one aspect of someone’s life.
One says ‘distance from negativity’ makes everything better because one assumes expression of self is comparison or complaint…?
I’m over here like, beautiful things happen every day. No matter your proximity to negativity. Or positivity for that matter.
How about: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt
(even though it’s attributed to Roosevelt, I couldn’t find supporting evidence he actually coined the term)
And being told to ‘find something to be grateful for’?
Y’all know I’m all about gratitude. Celebrating when I find it in unlikely places. Noticing it in the every day.
But to be ordered to find it?
After being told beautiful things are away from all things negative?
Once more for the cheap seats in the back.
Fuck you, dude.
I’m all for inspiration, but this doesn’t land for me. It lacks true compassion.
Am I looking at it askew?
What do y’all think?
Is this inspiring or does it encourage self gaslighting?
Is this positivity helpful or toxic?
Please oh please discuss!
be an unimportant character in the last movie you saw or an unimportant character in the last book you read
the last movie I saw was The Return of the King
the last book I read was Morningside Heights
Absolutely no question, sign me up for some elf ears in LotR!
know how above or below average you are at everything or know how above or below average people are at one skill/talent just by looking at them
I feel like I have a pretty good handle on my own skill level, even if I underplay those I’m actually a bit better at. Therefore I choose to know the skills of others. This would be helpful in all manner of situations.
have the ability to mute people at will or pause people for five seconds at a time, but only once an hour
M U T E!
I cannot tell you how often I just want people to shut the fuck up.
be able to control fire or water
water
If Avatar: The Last Airbender taught me anything it’s that even though I’m a fixed earth sign I’d be a water bender. And I’d use my bending to be a healer.
rather never be stuck in traffic again or never get another cold
never ever ever stuck in traffic again FTW!
Thing 1 called me Wednesday afternoon.
I was checking out after getting my hair did.
Me answering: Let me call you right back.
Her: Uh, OK. But we have a gas leak, can Baby K and I come to your house?
Me: Yes! Why are you even asking. I’ll call you right back.
I called her back asking about Husband N, the dogs and cats. Thing 1 told me she turned off the gas at the tank (their furnace runs on propane) so they could no longer smell gas in the house. Husband N had to stay there for the guy from the propane company to come.
They were more worried about the cold than anything at that point, but we did come up with a plan just in case.
Turns out they simply ran out of gas. Which in itself is a somewhat convoluted story that shouldn’t actually have happened, but not actually relevant to my point.
Thing 1 and Baby K arrived within half an hour of me getting home.
My daughter was frazzled. Her daughter was excited to be at “B-Papa house”.
This weekend was our Baby K weekend.
But our grandgirl arrived Wednesday afternoon and the weekend weather was looking bleak, so I suggested to Thing 1 she go home whenever and we’d bring Baby K home later in the day Saturday to avoid traveling Sunday.
This plan worked for everyone.
Of course Thing 1 wasn’t getting any toddler-free time because she was here too.
Though it was nice to have some time together in our two mommies-two daughters sort of way.
Gas tanks were filled Friday morning.
Closet design appointment was scheduled for eleven Friday. (more on that later)
Thing 1 stayed long enough to get Baby K in bed for her nap before she left.
Baby K was grumpy and sad Friday night and asked to go home several times. (so unlike her) I explained it was too late to go home Friday night, but reassured her we would take her home Saturday morning when she was ready.
Kid woke up all chipper and ready to play!
We ended up taking her home after her nap Saturday afternoon.
She was nearly exploding with joy when we got her home. Not just because she was home with her mom and dad, but because we were all there together with her.
She was super huggy and giggly. She kept saying, “Come here quick, please!” just so we could all see some silly thing she wanted to show or tell us. She told us, “Both of you” or “All of you” a few times too.
Her joy is contagious!
It was a tricky week to be in my daughter’s family.
It was a tricky week for YBW and me, though I think we got the better end of the deal.
Extra Baby K time for both YBW and me.
Unexpected time with my girl for me.
Things will come up.
Plans will change.
It won’t always be the way we hope or expect.
However, we’re lucky enough to be in a situation in which we can make it work together.
That’s the bit I love most!
(...and some I have)
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