Posts Tagged With: new beginnings

hopeful and organized beginnings

This papercrumbs post spoke to me this morning.
On this the tenth day of the new year I’m still feeling a bit off kilter. Of course the holidays were hectic and with the mad weather, getting into the back to school routine was shot all to hell. So it makes a kind of sense to me that I’m still in that ‘waiting for the new to begin’ feeling to kick in.

I’ve completely reorganized the kitchen cabinets, drawers, pantry, and laundry closet. I reorganized the linen closet. I feel so peaceful now that these things are finished. I’m serious y’all. I feel peacefully content down deep in my soul.
This organization is one small part in the beauty of beginning again. Perhaps it makes it simpler for me to begin again when I have the comfort of everything being orderly? Perhaps I just can’t handle perceived chaos?
Whatever the case may be, I do know this. I feel more ready to begin again since accomplishing those tasks. Even with the chaos of snow days, early dismissals, and delayed openings, I feel more able to get back into the swing of things at school too.

It occurs to me as I write this what’s beautiful about beginning again and again is that it feels hopeful. Hope that however tiny, each new beginning can bring adventure, or comfort, or a new way of learning, or something I may not have even though of yet!
When I feel hopeful, I’m inclined to begin again.
Sometimes a beginning blows up in your face. But with hope, you take what you needed from that beginning and decide to begin again a different way. Sometimes a beginning is more than you could have hoped for, and you have exactly what you want or need. You needn’t begin again, but you want to, to see what’s next.

To begin again and again, as many times as you want is really a gift. To begin after disaster is scary. To begin after perfection is also scary. Being scared is OK. Being scared is natural. But, it’s important to remember you always have hope in your pocket. To me the saddest thing is choosing not to begin because you’re scared. You don’t have to be brave to begin.
Just begin.
Bravery will come to you.
Hope will remind you that it’s in your pocket.
Begin.
You might fail. That’s OK too. Keep the important bits you needed and begin again.

In my life, I had many beginnings. I had some pretty epic failures. I have learned so much. I have been scared. I forgot hope was in my pocket. Or I found hope in the pocket of something when I wasn’t even looking.
I began again, and began again, and began again as many times as I wanted or needed. But mostly with prep work. Mostly organized. I do not function well in perceived chaos. I need to feel like I have a handle on the beginning.
Of course this isn’t always a perfect scenario, sometimes I must begin without being organized. That oftentimes leads to some sort of new mini beginning.
But that’s OK too.
I believe in the importance of beginnings.
I believe in hope.

In an excellent book about beginnings, Dr Seuss wrote:

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

and

“Out there things can happen, and frequently do, to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew. Just go right along, you’ll start happening too!”

Each night promises a new morning. An opportunity to begin again. And again. And again. As many or as few times as you like.
Organize yourself.
Hold on to your hope.
You’ve got this!

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Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

homeward bound

I leave Arizona today for home.
This is bittersweet for me. Leaving my precious friend and her family makes my heart ache. We have had a whirlwind of a visit, with just enough time for me to spend with each kid and parent. I selfishly want more time with my friend.

We’re each at a sort of crossroads in our lives. Kids no longer at home and the ones at home needing less mommying than when they were small and more chauffeuring.
We talked about our passions and how we might turn them into something to inspire and motivate us to try something new.
A joint venture would be ideal. (except for the pesky bit where we live completely across the country from the other.) And there’s actually an idea that we could make work…if we were in the same place. Alas, that’s not how it is.
So she is brainstorming as am I and we’ll encourage each other from afar.

It was good to get away from school for a few days. I feel I’ve gained perspective I couldn’t grasp when I was up to my ass in it.
It is absolutely time for me to stop teaching.
But to do what?
Your guess is as good as mine.

I’m in no hurry. I have time figure out what I really want to do before I actually do anything. I’m going to focus on being aware.
Aware of what moves me. Aware of what’s around me.
Perhaps I’ll find that finicky muse that will jumpstart the next phase of my life.

I’m being mindful.
But even better than that, I’m hopeful.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

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