Posts Tagged With: dedication

the joy of coming home

Posted on November 22, 2021 by robynbird

How precious is this mid-century house?
Thing 2 closes on it tomorrow.

My baby bought a house!
She’s saved for so long, squirreling away nearly twenty thousand dollars. And her credit score is in the 790s! She’s making an excellent investment. She’ll have twenty five thousand in equity when she walks through the front door.
She’s worked hard to get to this place.

She was planning to purchase by herself. But part way through her process, she and Boyfriend M realized they wanted to own a home together.
I’m overjoyed! I truly believe this young man and my daughter could be each other’s forever person if that’s what they want.
His mother isn’t as enthusiastic as we are. My understanding is she thinks they’re going about the order of things incorrectly. However, my gut says the bigger truth is she’s dissatisfied that he son isn’t living the life she expects him to live. She’ll get over that. All parents have to at some point.
I see my daughter and her boyfriend actively asking and answering the hardest questions. They’re working together. They’re making smart choices. They’ve planned and made commitments to each other about how it will work.
I trust Thing 2’s decision.
I trust she has a solid foundation upon which she will continue to build her life.
She’s choosing to build her life in a home with this young man. Just as he’s choosing to build his life in a home with her.
Their trust in the other is considerable.

The inspection showed the house needed minor repairs.
They talked the sellers down in price, well below asking. They got approval to do the work before taking ownership and contractors quickly got in the house.
A friend of theirs has brand new appliances to give them. Everything but the fridge, if I remember correctly.
That’s one hell of a friend!

In our group chat she was asking what Thing 1 and I think about paint colors.
She sent this.

My understanding is she’s thinking Lazy Gray for the walls and Serious Gray for the cabinets.

Y’all, my daughter has worked hard and long to get to this place. She’s been working towards this with a single minded fury.
To say she is excited is an understatement.
I am immeasurably proud for her.
She DID it!

Thing 2 and her kitty Oliver, and Boyfriend M and his kitty Meryl move into their new home this very week!

We three girls will purchase and move into our new homes in the same calendar year.
Fresh starts for each of us in 2021.
Now that’s something to give thanks for.
My Momma heart is overflowing with love and joy and gratitude.

Categories: around the house | Tags: coming home, creating a home, dedication, fresh start, hard work, home, house, love, mid century, mid century modern, new beginnings, new home, pride, pride and joy, Thing 2 | 4 Comments

my me things

Posted on September 13, 2019 by robynbird

What am I doing with all my free time now that I’m finished my degree?

I’ve decided to get my shit as much together as humanly possible. (Is there a ‘duh’ at the end of that sentence?)
I even have the perfect notebook with which to handle this task.

All kidding aside, I intend on putting forth as much effort possible into organizing my own personal chaos.
My goal is to get/have all my ducks in a row between now and August of 2020.
That’s when I want to start my Clinical Mental Health Counseling, MEd Concentration. It’s 60 credits plus another 15 to go through licensure.
It took me two years to make this decision.
The decision involved many conversations with YBW, my girls, friends, my therapist, and my creator. (and finally finishing the degree plan I was already in)
I knew I no longer wanted to teach for a living, but wanted a way to help people. I believe I will be good at (as Thing 2 says) ‘therapizing’ people.
I am content in my decision.
I mean, I may be bordering on crazy to jump back into school with both feet, but I truly believe it’s right for me.
(100% believe, 89-93% decided, just so we’re clear)

That’s not actually my point though.
My point is getting my shit straight/ducks in a row/chaos organized.
I don’t actually feel too chaosed…but I do feel the need to be organized.

How will I spend my time now that I’m not always spending my time doing course work?
P.S. still haven’t been called in to school yet. This concerns, but does not worry me. I’ll be turning down days soon enough.
I can be productive.
I keep myself occupied. (TBR much?)
I can run the errands, etc.
I can do the things.

But how can I do me?
What am I doing for me during this gift of ‘free time’?
How am I living my intention?

I want to explore my me options.
Get all my me ducks in a row.
I saw my therapist Tuesday, we spent our time pretty much catching up since I haven’t seen her since I first came home after Baby K was born. We celebrated my achievement with my degree. We briefly discussed the new degree plan.
I intend to spend more time with her as I organize me.

It occurs to me I spend a great deal of my time and energy outwardly focused. The other side of that coin is that I spend a great deal of time and energy focusing on everything ‘out there’ from my own particular point of view.
What I’m after is to focus a bit more inwardly, but from a broader perspective. I think…?

Anybody know that song Complainer by Cold War Kids?

You say you want to change this world
Well, do you really believe in magic?
But you can only change yourself
Don’t sit around and complain about it

I’m talking about healthy boundaries and productive conversations and improving overall comfort.
I’ve become weary of sitting around and complaining about it.

I can change only one thing in this world and that’s me.
Changing me isn’t going to be easy.
But what’s that saying, nothing worth having comes easy, or whatever? Teddy Roosevelt, maybe? (will google after I finish my thought so as not to lose momentum)
So, if it’s worth having all my me ducks in a row in order to live a more mindful, grateful, and content life. Not to mention aid in my preparation for 75 new credits, I’m willing to do the hard work.

I have a brand new notebook and pen.
I have some vague ideas.
I’m going to write down stuff that makes sense.
I’m going to develop those ideas into a plan I can utilize.

Instead of looking around me at what I cannot possibly fix, I’m going to fix me.
My ducks.
My shit.
My chaos.
I’m going to concern myself with me things.
Not in a selfish way.
In a way that makes me the kind of human I want to be.
Mindful.
Grateful.
Content.
Learning.
Growing.
Living my intention.

Now that’s for working hard for what’s worth having!

Categories: me | Tags: dedication, ducks in a row, graduate program, grateful, grateful life, hard work, intention, living my intention, love, mental health, mindful, nothing worth having comes easy, organization, organized chaos, support | 2 Comments

Say it proud!

Posted on April 25, 2015 by robynbird

Rick Bragg writes a column for Southern Living Magazine titled “Southern Journal”. This journal entry for May is called “Donkey Business (How I went from a proud rancher of bulls to a jackass man)”.
Mr Bragg writes about feeling a bit ashamed about being a writer. He writes that he feels other southern men judge him for not having a more manly profession. In the column, he explains how his family’s property had Hereford cattle until one day his mother asked to sell them off because she’d been chased by one of the bulls.
Like most good southern children, boys especially, he wasn’t about to disobey his Mama and the cattle were no more.
Which resulted in him no longer being able to tell folks he “raised bulls”.
Apparently, his Mama then decided the land looked lonely and wanted miniature donkeys…wackiness ensues.
And now when Mr Bragg is asked by some “real man” what he does, he tells him he’s a writer because he surely doesn’t want folks to know they are mini donkey on his family’s land.
(P.S. Mr Bragg, you are a beautiful writer, shout it out with pride!)

This struck my funny bone. The humor and telling of the story.
It struck my heart too.
Once upon a time, I was a very young stay at home mom…not college educated…”just” a mom. These years were the happiest years of my life, which I would trade for absolutely nothing and sometimes wish I could revisit. But I remember being in groups of people and when it came time to share what I “did” I would say: I’m a stay at home mom.
I wouldn’t feel prideful when I said it, I would feel less than.
I knew it was the most important job I would ever have. I knew I wanted to raise my own children. I knew I wanted to be the person they could trust most in this world to keep them safe.
But at that time I assumed the “rest of the world” with their fancy degrees and their office jobs would just look down their noses at me.

I remember the first time someone looked at me with awe when I told them what I did. Clearly the “rest of the world” understood the dedication and love and work that went into being someone’s (Two someones.) mommy all the live long day.
I saw respect in that face. The respect I had earned through my hard work at this labor of love. The respect I deserved.
It took me a while to understand how to reconcile the way it felt. It seemed to me that I might be viewed by the “rest of the world” as someone of no importance because my worth wasn’t in my job like most of the people I knew.
Only it wasn’t my worth that was in my job. I had the most important (and lifelong!) job in the history of all jobs. My job was to help, create a foundation for the girls to build their lives upon. My worth was irrelevant in my job. My job was to start them on the paths to their own worth.

It wasn’t much longer I didn’t hesitate to say I was a mommy. When I tell people now that I was a stay at home mom for fifteen years, I say it with pride and joy. I say it as though nothing I’ve done (as “work”) before or since matters a fraction as much.

I’m forty four years old. It took me a long time to stop comparing myself to the “rest of the world” probably longer than it should have…but that’s a story for another day.
I am me. The me I am because of the live I’ve lived. The choices I’ve made. Being a mom made me stronger than I might have been otherwise.

Sure, they might be miniature donkeys instead of Hereford cattle…but they’re my mini donkeys. And I’m their Mommy.