a tune for Tuesday vol 111

Mark Foster of Foster the People has a show called Escapology on Sirius XM. I think it airs on Tuesday evenings, but I first heard it on a Sunday morning on the way to the home site.
I like Foster the People. I like the way Mark Foster approaches music. Music he makes, music he listens to.

I heard this John Grant song on the Escapology show and just loved it.
I’m curious to hear what y’all think about Down Here.

Please listen responsibly.

Categories: music | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

art is not created in a vacuum

I’ve always been open about my love for all things Joss Whedon, though I’ve never been clear that I love the art more than the creator.
Over the years we’ve learned that Joss is notoriously difficult to work with. He is obstinate and demanding. Obsessive and overbearing.
Kai Cole, who was married to Joss for nearly twenty years wrote that he is a “hypocrite preaching feminist ideals

Last week Charisma Carpenter took to her social media to discuss her experience as a member of the Buffyverse.
(this is the post from her Instagram account)

She stated she felt compelled to share her story after Ray Fisher discussed his experience with Joss on the set of Justice League.
Since Charisma’s post, actors, writers, and producers from Whedon lead vehicles are speaking out in support.
I’m seeing words like:
Unprofessional.
Hostile.
Cruel.
Abusive.
Toxic.

Jose Molina who worked as a writer on Firefly said Joss bragged about making female writers cry. That he thought being mean was funny.
Michelle Trachtenberg stated Joss wasn’t allowed to be alone with her on the set of Buffy. She didn’t go into any further details, but know that she was fifteen years old when she started on that show in 2000.

So it seems to me it isn’t just that Joss Whedon is difficult to work with, he’s a shit human.
That doesn’t mean I don’t love his art any less.
Buffy and Angel. Dollhouse and Firefly. The Avengers (not created by, but brought to life in the MCU as director)
These are truly some of my favorite characters. Some of my favorite stories.

Once again I find myself wondering if a shit human and their art can be separated?

I say once again because I asked this question in 2017 when Kevin Spacey became persona non grata when all his horrible deeds came to light. Not only was he accused of sexual misconduct, but also creating toxic work environments.
His behavior is abhorrent.
He’s also a pretty shit human.
But his talent though. The art he created is beautiful.

I’m not the only one thinking about this. I read quite a bit about separating art from the artist when I set out to write this post.
I read articles the New York Times to the Guardian. From the BBC to reddit.
Here are a couple I especially liked.
For WBUR Boston’s the ARTery, Maria Garcia wrote: “Art does not exist in its own altruistic, alternate universe. It’s part of the world — and the patriarchy.”
Constance Grady wrote this tagline for her Vox article: “I don’t know what to do with good art by predatory artists. So I asked some literary critics.”

Nora texted me “Joss Whedon is gross” early Friday morning.
I shared with her I was trying to write this post. I mentioned Spacey. I asked: Can you separate individuals from their art/talent?
She sent this reply

She’s right, y’all. How much of what we’ve read or seen or heard was created by shit humans?
Does knowing something was created by a shit human change our opinion?
Should it?
Should it not?

We are all human. We are all flawed.
But I truly believe we’d be worse off without art.

I can’t ignore the fact Buffy and Firefly were created by a shit human.
But it doesn’t make me love them any less.
I’m not sure how to feel about that.

Artists do not exist in a vacuum.
Art is not created in a vacuum.

Can the art and artist exist separately?
Can the art be appreciated for the art it is?
Can the art remain unsullied by the reputation of it’s creator?

Please share your thoughts.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Saturday morning at the home site 2.13.21

You’ll notice it says Saturday and not Sunday up there.
That’s because we were in the middle of a mad ice storm and based on the forecast, thought we’d be safer going to the house Saturday morning.
Mother Nature had different plans.
The ice was bad out there!
Temps steadily dropped from when we left our (current) house just after eight and by the time we got home just after ten, there was a solid quarter inch of ice on the roads.

There were no workers in the house this week so we were able to get into every nook and cranny!
We’ve been in finished models. We’ve been in partially constructed models.
But this was the first time we were able to go all over our own house! (mini SQUEE moment for sure)

I’m standing in the front right corner of our house, in the dining room right next to the half bath shooting towards the living room. The kitchen will be on the left wall there in the middle. The gaping hole in the back is where that big ass stacking door will go.

The door to the roof deck is nailed shut so I couldn’t open it to get a better pic. But this is where I plan to spend as much time as humanly possible. Porch life will have a entirely new setting!


Yes, all that water on the doors is ice.

Categories: around the house | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

the power of that pause

I honestly can’t remember where I found this pic of these words, nor do I know who wrote (or said) them.
But I can remember that it stopped me in my tracks.
I feel the power in these words in my gut.

I am either hyperverbal or silent as the grave.
There isn’t much in between.

When I’m hyperverbal it’s because I’m feeling unsettled and desperate to make sure I’m heard. This comes from a lifetime of being dismissed. When I’m hyperverbal, I’m trying to engage (another) in discussion. It can become more like beating a dead horse than actual conversation. I realize that’s because I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. I feel like the conversation goes round and round in circles and never comes to a conclusion. I also realize that my hyperverbality is a major contributor to the circular conversation situation.
But sometimes being hyperverbal can help me sort my thoughts. Especially when I’m unsettled and desperate to make sure I hear myself. I’m notorious for talking aloud when I’m all alone. This is the Roby version of helpful/positive hyperverbality.

When I’m quiet it’s because I’m actively choosing to disconnect from others, but mostly to disconnect from my own words. When I’m quiet it’s because to verbalize feels overwhelming. This also comes from a lifetime of being dismissed. When I’m silent as the grave it can be a good thing, a bit of a reset for my brain, for my central nervous system. For the ears of the people I’m near.

So when I read these words I understand their power down deep in me.
Because, sure, I’m both sides of the same weird (verbal/silent) coin. But also because I spend a great deal of time itching to spit out my words.
You know why. (I mean, if you didn’t already know, I did just tell you…)

But what if I didn’t feel the need to barf up my words as quickly as Robynly possible?
What might that be like?
It might be as simple as a pause.
Pausing to breathe.
Pausing to listen.
Pausing to absorb.

Let us avoid hurrying to verbalize.
I wonder how many of us need to heed these words?
More than will admit it, I suspect.
Consider the power of that pause.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

would you rather – dixième partie

be able to see 10 minutes into your own future or 10 minutes into the future of anyone but yourself
I fear, like Cassandra, my words would fall upon deaf ears if I spoke of other people’s futures. And that would be more painful to me than knowing what was coming my way. So, I choose being able to see into my own future.

be the absolute ruler in a tiny country or an important politician among many other important politicians in a large powerful country

(a picture’s worth a thousand words)

ask for help or figure it out yourself
While I’m much more of a do it myself kind of girl, I’m not above asking for help.
TBPH, it depends on the situation and who I’m asking.
But for the sake of this would you rather, I choose figure it out myself.

have unlimited international first-class tickets or never have to pay for food at restaurants
In concept, I’m all about unlimited first-class tickets. But…would I have the time, the resources, the traveling companion to jet off as I’d like?
Not paying for restaurant food opens never ending dining opportunities the likes of which I can barely imagine. How many times a week would I eat lunch from Nando’s, or grab a berry lemonade at Mod Pizza, or have a Duck Donut on the way to the grocery store? To how many restaurants could I take my food loving husband?
I think I’m going to go with food on this one.

be able to dodge anything no matter how fast it’s moving or be able to ask any three questions and have them answered accurately
Being Neo could have it’s advantages, but I’m not often in a situation in which I need to dodge things.
And one of my three wishes is to have my questions answered with truths, so I choose three questions answered accurately.

Your turn…
What would y’all rather?

Categories: me | Tags: , , , | 7 Comments

a tune for Tuesday vol 110

I first heard this song on Alt Nation’s Advanced Placement Thursday morning two weeks ago while Baby K and I were making playdough. I was like, did he just say that was Weezer? Of course we were listening via Alexa so I couldn’t even look to see.

Since then I’ve looked it up to make sure. Yep, it’s Weezer.
I’ve listened to it loads of times since then and yep, I love love love it!

Check out All My Favorite Songs and let me know what you think.

Please listen responsibly.

Categories: music | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Sunday morning at the home site 2.7.21

It was a snowy Sunday morning this week!

We have stairs now!
(do you see those telescoping doors stacked up in the living room at the top of the stairs!?!)

Of course there were carpenters working in the house while we were there so we chose not to go up the stairs.
We did go down into the ground floor room and that was cool!

While I’m eager to climb the stairs to the upper floors of our house, I will admit to being a bit disappointed that I can no longer stand in this spot in the garage and look all the way up.

I’m hoping there won’t be anybody working next Sunday morning so we can go up into the house!

Categories: around the house | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

the power of a to-don’t list

Do y’all know about I Weigh?
Founded by Jameela Jamil in March of 2018.
Mission statement: “I WEIGH CONNECTS, EMPOWERS AND AMPLIFIES DIVERSE VOICES IN AN ACCESSIBLE WAY”
Check ’em out.

Anyway…
I love I Weigh’s insta, and this post spoke right to me.

I’ve been so tired in the last couple of weeks.
Feeling trod down and worn slap out.
And I realized I’ve been doing some of the things on this list without even realizing.
Especially numbers three four and five, but also numbers six and eight too.
Actually the only thing on this list I haven’t done is number 7.

I sometimes forget I can create a don’t do it list just as easily as I create my myriad do it lists.
I suspect we all forget that from time to time.
I also suspect it’s mostly women who forget.
Though, I don’t see why men couldn’t too.

Think about how you spend your days.
Think about your life.
Are your lists chock full of things you do that aren’t what’s best for you?
Are your lists balanced to keep you in a healthy place?
Do you have the luxury of having list that are all do’s and no don’ts?

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , | 7 Comments

a tune for Tuesday vol 109

Thing 1 told me she wasn’t sure I’d like this Mansonair song when she shared it with me.
I freaking LOVE it!

The chorus is kind of what it feels like when I have a migraine.

Take my head away from me
Antoinette, sweet Marie
Chop it off, squeaky clean
I got thoughts nobody needs
Down below, buried deep
Let me go, set me free
Body’s strong, but mentally
Lost my mind, guillotine

What do y’all think about Guillotine?

Please listen responsibly.

Categories: music | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

Sunday morning at the home site 1.31.21

We’ve got windows!

It was cold and snowy when we woke Sunday morning. But that didn’t stop us from going over to the house.
Thing 1 and Baby K got all bundled up and went with us.


Inside the garage huge stacking sliding doors are leaning against the wall. The ones for our house and the house next door.
One of the windows broke, the glass swept into a huge pile. Of course Baby K decided that was where she wanted to play. Her mom decided the best way to get her out of the glass in the garage was to plop her down into the living space.
YBW wanted to show me something on the side of the house so I told her we were going around the side and would meet them in the back.
When we got around the side of the house, this is what we saw.

She was saying, “Papa!” right as I took that photo.
Y’all this kid loves her some Papa.
Papa loves him some Baby K too, so it’s a match made in Heaven!

The stairs were scheduled to be delivered late last week or early this week. Since there were no stairs it looks like early this week. Maybe next Sunday we’ll have some!
The back of the house has some windows, but is waiting for the those big ass sliding doors to go in.

It’s beginning to look like a proper house now, y’all!

Categories: around the house | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Stories I've Never Told...

(...and some I have)

Starting Over

Because there's never enough time to do it right the first time but there's always enough time to do it over

Social artist

Curiosity to Infinity

Faith + Gratitude = Peace + Hope

When I was young, my dad would always say, "Crystal, you can choose your attitude." One day I chose to believe him.

debsdespatches.wordpress.com/

Writer, Reader, Random Scribbler

Snippets of SnapDragon

An irreverent space of poetically-cynical musings

Encouragement for you!!

Need some encouragement--read this!!

To Write or not to Write and What to Write

#shortstories #thoughts #reflections

Thinker Boy: Blog & Art

by Troy Headrick

Invisibly Me

Live A Visible Life Whatever Your Health

A Teacher's Reflections

Thirty Years of Wonder

Life and Random Thinking

An old dog CAN blog

charles french words reading and writing

An exploration of writing and reading

Sawblades In Your Walkman

effervescing with muchness

History Tech

History, technology, and probably some other stuff

Always Turning Pages

Writer | Creator

walkingtheclouds

where the clouds may lead

Meditations in Motion

Running and life: thoughts from a runner who has been around the block

Bitchin’ in the Kitchen

..because the thoughts that fall, kicking and screaming from my head need a safe place to land..

Finding French Charming

Finding True Love.. Even After Forty

Thought Box

Sweet...Bitter...Happy...Sad...All thoughts trapped in a Box...

M.A. Lossl

An author's life, books, and historical research

Wise & Shine

We exist to help people understand themselves.

Water for Camels

Encouragement and Development for Social Workers and Those with a Mission of Helping Others

Living In the Sweet Spot

"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present." Jan Glidewell