Been experiencing a great deal of head pain lately and the opening line of this song is a fairly accuarate description of what I’ve felt like the last few days.
You may think that it’s funny now
That I got a headache like a shop vac coughin’ dust bunnies
Please listen responsibly.
I woke up to this.
How beautiful!
Unfortunately it’s a total waste of a snow day because schools are already closed. End of the second quarter and only teachers report to their buildings.
The roads are clear, just a bit wet, but it was enough to delay area schools two hours.
I left the house at 8:45 to drop off something at the post office on the way to my therapy appointment. The naked trees so pretty with a coating of fresh snow. As I drove down Grant Avenue, I was truly in the middle of a winter wonderland!
What a pleasant surprise!
During a chat conversation this morning, my darling English friend shared with me what he’s working on in therapy. We talked quickly before I had to leave for school, which left the conversation open ended. He suggested we come back to it later “and maybe we can discover where our minds and beliefs agree.”
What I adored about this conversation was that is was in no way aggressive or argumentative. We were just remarking on the subject as we see it.
Oh, but it got me thinking!
Here’s the pertinent bit of the conversation:
Him:
I’m supposed to be working on the Madonna and Whore dichotomy for my meeting with my counselor tomorrow.
So far it’s not going brilliantly. As far as I’ve got is that all women have aspects of the Madonna and Whore, but no women should be looked at in just those lights.
Me:
Interesting
Perhaps you could consider women as activists? Women as world changers? There are a f**k load of those out there. Even though you’re not the biggest fan of liberal minded women.
Him:
Men put the Madonna on a pedestal and objectify the Whore, and both are wrong
I love liberal minded women, I just don’t like angry liberal minded women
Me:
I suspect it is somehow bred into women this Madonna and whore thing. I don’t think we’d come up with that on our own and I believe that’s worth considering.
Him:
I believe a lot of woman is created by what a man wants, needs, desires and expects.
Me:
Yet women oughtn’t be angry?
I think you just made the whole point!!
Him:
As a polite Englishman, I think I struggle with women who are angry, rude, aggressive, opinionated, and political. How odd.
Me:
Interesting!
What if the women were not rude or aggressive? What if they were angry and opinionated and political?
Him:
An angry woman is also difficult for me to accept.
Me:
The opinion you have and share with many men is why women have been, are, and will remain ‘less than’.
That’s something worth being angry about.
Him:
It’s not an opinion, it’s a whole belief system
Me:
Yes it is.
Because I have breasts and a vagina, I’m somehow only one of two things. Neither of which has power unless “bestowed”.
Carrie and Miranda know what’s up.
And that right there is why women (and men, and in some cases, children) took to the streets Saturday last!
If the men of the world were somehow either Madonna or whore with no other real identity that foolishness would cease with a quickness!
That makes me angry!
That makes loads of women angry!
On the way to dinner I was telling YBW about the conversation and that it sparked this post. He mused that most men don’t like angry women because they can’t be controlled and that frightens them.
This makes a kind of sense to me, but I suspect there’s more to it than that…
I’m strong and capable. I’m smart and funny. I’m loud and brash. I’m kind and compassionate. I’m confident in my sexuality. I’m “girlie” af. I’m infuriating as hell. And I am sometimes so angry I cannot speak, only shake with violent rage. I am in charge of my own body. I decide what is right for me. I love with an unparalleled ferocity. I have immortal longings in me. Not to mention loads more things I’m not thinking of right now.
But what I am not is some pristine virgin. Neither am I a whore.
Being either Madonna or whore is boring!
It’s one dimensional.
Where’s the challenge? Where’s the adventure? Where’s the trial and error and lesson learning?
I believe women are more complex than that. We’ve got fires in our bellies, hearth fires and holocausts. We are terrifying and strange and beautiful. We are overflowing with much muchier muchness. We are bad ass warrior Goddesses. We are calm and gentle nurturing Earth Mothers. We are givers of life.
Men want women as Madonna or whore. Two boring sides of one disappointing coin.
Yesterday was a huge deal for women in my country. Women, no, not just women. People all over the country marched in protest. Marched in love. Marched because they could.
And I was greatly moved.
I debated heading downtown yesterday, but truly hadn’t made enough of a plan to get it together. I missed a once in a lifetime opportunity to participate, but I was able to spectate. And honestly, that’s perfectly acceptable to me. I experienced it and it continues to impact me.
I was saying to YBW today that I don’t regret not going. That I am truly humbled by being able to watch it happen. That I’m humbled and proud to know so many amazing human beings. That our first amendment is a living breathing thing. That hundreds of thousands of people were able to exercise that beautiful right to take to the streets to say and show what they’re passionate about.
Gloria Steinem’s speech reminded me of being a little girl in the 70s. I did not like that she called out Trump…but I liked other things she said.
I think Madonna needed to shut her mouth before she even opened it.
To me it’s not about how horrible Donald Trump is. It’s about showing the world how strongly (these particular) Americans feel about human rights.
A friend of mine posted about her mother and uncles participating in the March on Washington with Dr. King. That she was marching for the same reasons as they did. Marching to honor them. Marching for her young daughters.
I was amazed at photos and posts on social media! Girls I held when they were babies marching. Mothers of children I’ve taught.
It was truly awe-inspiring to watch.
I read comments written by women who question the motives. And I began to wonder what that must feel like…to not be at all impressed by something that began as a facebook post became hundreds of thousands of men, women, and children standing up for freedom.
This was posted by a woman I’ve known since we were nine and ten years old.
What troubles me about my country being so polarized is that this march was perceived as a “We hate Trump” rally.
Now sure, some of those people do hate him. Some of them are simply exercising their first amendment right. Some are truly all about the preservation of basic human rights.
It feels to me that this woman I’ve known since I was a little girl is focusing on hate and ‘party lines’ rather than perhaps considering that it’s not about hate. That it may be about something more.
That perhaps it might be better to strive for some unity rather than remaining so deeply divided.
This dad and his little daughter in Annapolis know what’s up.
I don’t worship Hillary Clinton. I truly felt as though the election in November was a decision between the lesser of two evils. Yet, I couldn’t in good conscience abstain from voting. I could not dishonor the women who came before me in that way.
I don’t idolize her. I don’t demonize him.
I just want to believe that all the hard work that was put into building my country will be honored by everyone with political power.
Though I understand that concept of “not my president” I think it’s awful. He is our president. We have no choice now. Like it or not, if you’re an American citizen, he is your president. Acceptance is where it’s at. You can accept without liking it.
We must stop perpetuating this whole ‘us against them’ mentality. Divided we fail! We are all Americans. We are all human beings.
I’m so proud to be a woman.
A woman in a country in which women have had the right to vote for less than one hundred years! This is a bigger deal than most people ever stop to consider!
What those Suffragettes went through so women could vote…
What the Greatest Generation when through during the Second World War…
What those men and women went through in the time of the Civil Rights Movement…
What same sex couples went through for marriage equality…
What the LGBTQ people are going through to be respected as human beings…
I believe so strongly that we cannot ignore our past. We must honor it. And if we can, we must learn from it.
I read one remark (written by a woman, mind you) that the march seemed to be all about being able to have an abortion. And I thought, ‘Wow are you truly missing the point! It’s about the unalienable rights of all human beings.’ At least for me that’s what it is.
Being able to have an abortion is no longer an issue of concern for me. But it is for my daughters. It is for girls I’ve taught. I don’t believe abortion should be used as birth control. But I do believe every person should have the basic human right to choose what to do with and for their own body.
What the men and women who came before us went through to get us where we are is worth honoring. What those men and women did yesterday is worth honoring.
There will always be haters. On either side of any topic.
But for me, yesterday was about love.
Love for human beings.
What can go right if we let go of hate and embrace each other?
Eva’s version of this song I love suits my mood this morning.
Please listen responsibly.
So I’ve begun a new (to me) way of getting and keeping myself organized. I spent a great deal of time and effort at my work table planning and executing this organizational process and I think I’ve finally got it just right!
With many notes, and even more lists, and a collection of pinterest photos for inspiration, I tentatively began to consider actually writing in the new book…
It kind of reminded me of Thing 2. I gave her a red moleskine notebook for Christmas one year, just like Dash and Lily’s and she was crippled by it. She couldn’t bring herself to write in it in case she “messed it up”. #perfectionist
I felt the same way. I even went so far as to reach out in journaling groups for advice on how to quell the anxiety about getting started. I didn’t want to bugger the brand new book. #spazz
And that’s applicable to both myself and my second born child.
I finally bit the bullet (Ha! That’ll be funny in a minute to you too!) and actually got started. Of course, I had to make several lists and mock up pages before I could begin work in my actual book. I’m a freaky planner. #madskills
It’s a bullet journal.
If you’ve never heard about it, check out this vid:
I use my phone calendar, but I’m a pen and paper kind of girl and rely on an analog way of keeping myself well sorted. YBW likes to tease my by calling me a luddite. I don’t hate technology…I just like colored pens and paper. #artist
I bought a Leuchtturm1917 notebook.
Like all good Southern girls, I monogramed that s**t. #preppygirl
The Leuchtturm has dotted pages. Now this is not at all like any other journal I have. I prefer lined pages. But the cool thing about the dots is that with a ruler and pen, you can create pretty much any sort of form you need. #crayola
I built a calendar first thing. Month at a glance and then a weekly calendar.
Built in many calendars…some things must be planned in advance. #organizationgoals
The more research I’m doing and the more posts I see about bullet journals, I’m realizing most people don’t build out their calendars so far in advance. But that’s the beauty of the bullet journal, you can build it however it works best for you! And this is how it works best for me.
I built a page to track my weight loss.
I mean, hey, it’s not the simplest thing to get your body at it’s healthiest. If a cute little spread in your journal makes it more fun, then it’s that much easier! #healthyeating
I also think my reading prescription needs to be adjusted…I was having a bit of trouble working on these pages even with good light.
That’s OK though…it’ll give me an excuse for adorable new reading glasses! #sexyat45
Years (and years and years) ago I told my therapist I wanted to be Queen of the World. She suggested I consider being “the Queen of yourself”.
That stuck with me.
I’ll never be Queen of the World, but I sure as hell can be Queen of myself. Queen of my own world.
It’s how you choose to function in the world that helps you be the Queen of your own world. Remember that because it is so important. We can’t control what happens around us, we can only control how we respond to it.
I have moments of foaming at the mouth and losing my s**t when things don’t go my way. But by actively living my intention, I continue to learn how to respond, and practice responding to those moments with grace, love, and gratitude.
I am the Queen of myself.
I rule my own world.
Works for me…ruling the whole world sounds a might exhausting.
Yesterday I slept late (till 9:00) and woke to the most beautiful sight!
SNOW!!!!!
First snow of the season makes for a super smiley Robynbird!
I took photos out the front door.
And on the back porch.
It only snowed about an inch and a half, maybe two…
But the wind!
Oh my golly did the wind howl!!
The temperature never crept above 25. But the wind chills were in the single digits.
This morning I woke up at 8:00 and it was 13 with a real feel of -6.
Yeah, y’all read that right! Negative six degrees!
Brrrrrrr!
So my plans for errand running in an adorable dress, tights and boots became me staying home in my jammies and hoodie and warm fuzzy socks to do homework and lula and work on my new organizational system…and hang out with YBW near the fireplace!
I adore everything about this!
It’s all true.
It’s simple enough to do every day.
If you’re not already doing it, doing it will change your life.
If you’re already doing it, you know how wonderful it really is.
I already love without measure. That’s just who I am.
I sort of eat half…
I walk between two and three miles a day at the elementary school.
I never ever laugh enough! Must laugh more!!
So, while there’s obviously room for improvement, it looks like I’m already on my way to living well and longer!
I say, Go me!
I know it may seem a rather unusual song to use, but how about a little Kate Nash to start the new year?
Please listen responsibly.
(...and some I have)
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