Posts Tagged With: mad skills

one week out

Posted on July 22, 2021 by robynbird

This is where I stand when it comes to packing.

This is our dining room. Everything in here will be handled by the movers. This is in addition to the furniture. And the handful of wardrobe boxes up in our bedroom.

I’ve packed most everything that may not be necessary in the next week. This includes pantry staples and the majority of daily use dishes. The dishwasher was two thirds of the way full yesterday, so I just packed everything that wasn’t in there hoping for success in the next week.
Of course, all these kitchen things are simply in shopping bags in the front room. So, they’re easily accessible if we have some sort of ‘kitchen-things emergency’.

This is what will go our cars.
It didn’t start out looking like too much…but then I did the kitchen.
I finally ran out of boxes. I was able to get all the dishes/glassware into boxes for the movers, but not the foodstuffs and other things.
I’m not concerned, because Thing 1 made the plan I know will work.
And with two trips in my vehicle and one each in YBW’s and Thing 1’s, we’ll have that front room cleaned out in no time!

I look at the rooms in this house and realize, it’s not all that much that needs to move.
We’ve got this.
I did all the organizing.
We did the majority of the work.
One week from today will be the last time we sleep in this house.
We’re ready.

Categories: around the house | Tags: dude I got mad skills, list lady, lists, mad skills, making a list, moving, moving house, organization skills, organize, packing, preparation | 3 Comments

all that compounded smartness

Posted on July 14, 2021 by robynbird

I felt anxious Monday.
Literal low-level thrumming in my body.
This list is enormous!
Three weeks sounds like a long time, but it’s not.
How will I get this done?
How will I be ready for the movers?

My logical brain knew all that was straight up bullshit.
My logical brain knew I’d planned everything out to the nth degree.
My logical brain knew I was prepared.

But my feels were actively attempting to run the show.
That physical vibration was convincing as hell.

To thwart the feels, I over-functioned my ass off.
So much so that I crossed off everything for the week of July 11-17 on my moving list that very day.
But that wasn’t good enough.
I had to do stuff scheduled for the following week too.
I had to get more done.
On Monday.
Of the second week.

This is where I was when I went to bed Monday night.
Monday July 12.

What you don’t see crossed off are two things I actually started working on.
pack bathroom and linen closet
pack clothes

I was chatting with Thing 1 about how I was feeling. She was loving and encouraging. But I simply couldn’t shake the feels.
She was quite clear that I shouldn’t overwhelm myself right before the finish line.
(it’s like she knows me)
I assured her I knew it wasn’t real. That logically I was even more on target than my prep work suggested I be. But I sure as hell felt a way about it.

We talked later in the day when I finally stopped and sat down.
In this conversation I was finally able to verbalize what I was feeling anxious about. I wasn’t sure how to pack all the random things so the movers would take them. I didn’t want to waste boxes I might need for dishes on laundry room things, etc.
It was then I began to realize my panic wasn’t only about being ready on time, it was also about being properly packed so the movers could be successful.
Thing 1 was like, “Uh…Momma. You can put stuff in your car and take it over there.”
(but actually kinder than that sounds)

Her words created an instantaneous shift in me.
My body was still even though my brain was thrumming – with realization!
I didn’t have to pack up anything awkward. I could simply put it in the car.
Y’all! My girl saved the day!
I often tease her that she’s smarter than me. She doesn’t see it that way. She calls it ‘compounded smartness’. That she’s as smart as she is because I’m as smart as I am and she simply built upon it.
(something like that, I think she explains it better)
Either way, she saved the day.

The container we packed in March is being delivered Wednesday of that last week and being unloaded first thing Thursday morning.
Thing 1 offered to meet me at this house after they’re finished at the new house. We’ll each load up a vehicle and take it to the new house.
Then anything that doesn’t really go into a proper box, or anything we’ll need straight away will be there ready for us.
YBW is staying at the new house because the smart home guys will be there working their magic. So he’ll pack up his car the night before instead of coming back home with me.
Those three loads will carry all the awkward things, and the movers can do the rest.

I’m still properly planned.
I’m ahead of schedule.
I’m perfectly still inside.
Like some sort of organizational ninja, this move won’t even see me coming.

This is an excellent example of why we must talk about feeling a way. Just because our logical and emotional selves are at odds, doesn’t mean there isn’t a solution.
In my case, the solution was someone looking at it from a different perspective.
Someone who knows and loves me, and had the patience to listen even though she knew I wasn’t making any kind of sense.
Grown children know what’s up.
It’s all that compounded smartness.

Categories: on being a mom | Tags: ability to help, all the feels, anxious, dude I got mad skills, help, kindness, list lady, lists, love, mad skills, making a list, mothers and daughters, moving, moving house, organization, organization skills, organize, packing, patience, preparation, Thing 1 | 7 Comments

a color coded list for the end game

Posted on July 8, 2021 by robynbird

We’re now twenty days out from closing on the new house. Twenty-two days until we lock the door to this house behind us for the last time.
I created a color coded list broken down by week to ensure we’re ready to roll when the time comes.
.blue for me
.red for YBW
.purple for both

This week is already proving to be successful. I’ve crossed off the majority of my list.
Go me!
Yesterday was particularly productive, not only did I pack six boxes, I packaged and shipped Thing 2’s birthday box. Played Chinese checkers with Meredith and Beau for three hours, video chatted with Baby K, and made a quick Target run.

I have some larger items that won’t fit into any of the boxes I have, so I’ll make another quick Target run this morning for some bigger bins.

I’ve got the new car insurance sorted, but having trouble finding appropriate home owners insurance. After working on insurance for two days straight, I’m ready to get that checked off my list too.

This is the end game, y’all.
I’m ready!

Categories: around the house | Tags: dude I got mad skills, list lady, lists, mad skills, making a list, moving, moving house, organization skills, organize, packing, preparation | 13 Comments

bless his heart

Posted on April 18, 2018 by robynbird

Even after all these years, I’m still flabbergasted by the madness that is the father of my children.
I’m not talking shit right now, I’m seriously over here like:

(a quick bit of backstory)
Thing 1’s car gave up the ghost. She sold it for parts and moved on in her life. She and Husband N share a vehicle and they’re OK with that for the moment.

Out of the clear blue, the Things’ father purchases a (used) car for Thing 1. I get this information first from Thing 2 who drove the car home and was tasked with cleaning and detailing it. The next day I get the information from Thing 1 with photos of the car in her dad’s driveway. Later that same day (which happened to be yesterday) I get a call from their dad, telling me with great pride he bought Thing 1 a car. How and what he paid for it and asked me if I would finance the taxes, tags, title, etc. Then he told me he was going to take it his mechanic. I expressed my surprise that he made the purchase without having the mechanic look at it first. Blah blah blah…

This morning at 7:30 I received a facebook message from him.
My first thought (which I said aloud to an empty house) was “This is how we communicate now?”

(When there was still a baby, I was planning a baby shower for the week after Thing G’s graduation while the girls were still up here so we didn’t have to coordinate a second trip this summer. He and Husband N’s mother agreed to split the cost of a rental car so they could bring home their baby haul. Because that changed with the miscarriage, he felt it wasn’t appropriate for Husband N’s mother to pay for a car when there was no baby shower. That made sense to me, and he and I agreed to split the car rental instead.)

Having no idea what it will take to make the care safe, etc. is kind of why you have your mechanic look at a used car before you purchase it…just sayin’.

So apparently after we got off the phone yesterday, he rang up Thing 1 and tried to triangle her into this situation. She shut down his complaining with the logical idea that if he wanted me to give him money, he should have asked me.

To these facebook messages, (I’m sorry, but again I ask, Is this how we communicate now?) I responded as carefully as I could. Essentially I told him that purchasing that car was a decision he made without consulting anyone and since I had no say in the process I have no responsibility in off-setting the cost. I explained that quite honestly I don’t have that kind of money just lying around anyway. I reminded him that there is still a hole in our house and we’re still fighting with the home owners insurance company and we spent several thousand dollars out of pocket to have the tree removed. I closed with “I’m disappointed and disheartened you complained to Thing 1 about it. She doesn’t deserve that.”

I called YBW and he and I talked about it. We agreed that I did the right thing. We agreed that the money that I was contributing to the rental car would be better spent for gas and food on the road as the Things journey to and from for Thing G’s graduation. YBW used the word unilateral and I nearly kicked myself for not thinking that word!

I sent a warning text to each girl explaining that I’d been asked for and refused money and apologized to them if it gets taken out on them.
Thing 1 called me straight away. She apologized for not warning me she told him to just talk about it instead of complaining about it. She and I decided how to deal with getting the car legal and she agreed the money would be of better use for them on the road. She was gracious and thankful that I was willing to help them with that.

So I stopped and breathed deeply and composed and email to my ex-husband.

You caught me off guard this morning and after more time to think about it, I want to respond even more mindfully than I tried to earlier.
Our agreement was for me to pay half of a car rental fee.
When you bought that car, the rental agreement was negated.
Because there is no rental car, we no longer have an agreement.

My initial thought was that I would use the money no longer going to the car rental to pay for their gas and food on the road.

Purchasing the car was a decision you made on your own. Expecting me to offer to pay you after the fact is also a decision you made. Asking me to pay for a decision you unilaterally made is not OK.
I know that’s not what you want to hear. But that’s how it is.

I find myself wondering what is your motivation at this hasty purchase…especially when you’re frustrated I’m not offering to pay you for making it.

I spoke with Thing 1 and we discussed how to handle the taxes, tags, title, insurance, etc. and that’s all taken care of.

I feel good about that. I was clear. I was respectful.

His response email was filled with mad backpedaling and ended with, “Good luck on getting your house repaired and thank you for helping Thing 1 cover the tags title and insurance. I did not intend to create a misunderstanding between us I merely thought that you may want to contribute.”

Here’s the thing.
My daughter didn’t ask for help finding a car. My daughter didn’t ask her father to purchase a car. My daughter knows that she’s an adult and she and her husband are responsible for their decisions for their life.
Her father wants to be “Daddy the Hero”.
He wants credit because he is the one who found her a car. That he swooped in and made everything “all better” for her. If that’s how he stays relevant and special, good for him.
In my experience, the problem with the whole situation is he’ll hold it over her head until the end of time. She better be grateful af and he better know it or he’ll trot it out every chance he gets. That young woman didn’t ask for anything and now she’s being held hostage by it.
She can handle it though. She’s got mad “dealing with dad skills”.

I just want to be left out of the foolishness all together.

I’m curious what y’all think.
Did I do the right thing? Was I respectful to everyone involved?
How would you handle this situation?
Let me hear your thoughts!

Categories: me | Tags: bless your heart, communication, divorce, foolishness, help, mad skills, making good choices, manipulation, money, parenting, personal essay, respect, responsibility, sadness | Leave a comment

bite the bullet (journal)

Posted on January 15, 2017 by robynbird

So I’ve begun a new (to me) way of getting and keeping myself organized. I spent a great deal of time and effort at my work table planning and executing this organizational process and I think I’ve finally got it just right!
With many notes, and even more lists, and a collection of pinterest photos for inspiration, I tentatively began to consider actually writing in the new book…
It kind of reminded me of Thing 2. I gave her a red moleskine notebook for Christmas one year, just like Dash and Lily’s and she was crippled by it. She couldn’t bring herself to write in it in case she “messed it up”. #perfectionist
I felt the same way. I even went so far as to reach out in journaling groups for advice on how to quell the anxiety about getting started. I didn’t want to bugger the brand new book. #spazz

And that’s applicable to both myself and my second born child.

I finally bit the bullet (Ha! That’ll be funny in a minute to you too!) and actually got started. Of course, I had to make several lists and mock up pages before I could begin work in my actual book. I’m a freaky planner. #madskills

It’s a bullet journal.
If you’ve never heard about it, check out this vid:

I use my phone calendar, but I’m a pen and paper kind of girl and rely on an analog way of keeping myself well sorted. YBW likes to tease my by calling me a luddite. I don’t hate technology…I just like colored pens and paper. #artist
I bought a Leuchtturm1917 notebook.

Like all good Southern girls, I monogramed that s**t. #preppygirl

The Leuchtturm has dotted pages. Now this is not at all like any other journal I have. I prefer lined pages. But the cool thing about the dots is that with a ruler and pen, you can create pretty much any sort of form you need. #crayola

I built a calendar first thing. Month at a glance and then a weekly calendar.
Built in many calendars…some things must be planned in advance. #organizationgoals
The more research I’m doing and the more posts I see about bullet journals, I’m realizing most people don’t build out their calendars so far in advance. But that’s the beauty of the bullet journal, you can build it however it works best for you! And this is how it works best for me.

I built a page to track my weight loss.
I mean, hey, it’s not the simplest thing to get your body at it’s healthiest. If a cute little spread in your journal makes it more fun, then it’s that much easier! #healthyeating

I also think my reading prescription needs to be adjusted…I was having a bit of trouble working on these pages even with good light.
That’s OK though…it’ll give me an excuse for adorable new reading glasses! #sexyat45