Posts Tagged With: getting it together

and so it begins

I ordered boxes and packing material.
They’re scheduled to arrive today.
YBW and I did a little dance around quantity and pricing when it came to what I wanted to order from Uline. He asked for half an hour to do some research to see what he could find.
He found packing paper cheaper. But he had to go get it. But it saved on shipping.
I wanted to have everything brought to me so I could begin working straight away.
We talked about how the lion’s share of the work packing this house and getting it ready will fall to me. I’m cool with that. I was clear about wanting to have enough of the proper tools to do the job.
He agreed completely.
He wanted me to have enough of the proper tools at the best price.
I agreed completely.

I’m not in a huge hurry to get this process started. What I mean is, I’m not eager to create chaos in the form of boxes and packing paper. I’m not eager to empty certain things from certain spaces in our house.
I’m not eager to live in chaos.
Even if it was just YBW and me, and not our daughter’s family, I’d not be eager to live in the chaos, but I hate to think I’m creating chaos for them too.
Yeah, yeah, they knew what they were getting into and all that…but still…

Anyway, I’ll begin with books, dishes and glassware. I’ll sort out all the music and media requested by our kids and pack what little we’ve decided to keep. I’ll remove art and photos from the walls.
This will make it easier to have the house painted in the next month or so. Even if I end up doing some of it myself.

I’m feeling a bit anxious, but I’m also feeling motivated.
I do love a project.
And though this one is huge, I can break it down into manageable portions.

I’ve moved twelve times in my life. And thrice before I was old enough to remember. I’m an excellent organizer. I’m an excellent packer.
My sense of adventure is tingling. My concept of how we’ll live in the new house inspires.
I’ll be leaning heavily on that as I prepare this house for our departure.

Leaving this house will be hard for YBW. He’s lived here nearly twenty three years. He raised his babies in this house. Saying goodbye will hurt his soul a bit. Moving from here will take a different kind of organization and packing for my husband. If I can take the pressure of organizing and packing the physical things off him, perhaps it will ease his emotional pressure.

He always says to me, “Your life would be boring without me.” Oftentimes this is after a particularly bad joke/pun, or when he’s being especially annoying with intent.
But he’s not wrong about it as it applies to moving house.
The new house was his idea. His dream. I was enthusiastic about getting on board and it became a shared dream.
As I begin the packing up of this house, I’ll hear his words. Sometimes when I hear them I’ll chuckle, others I’ll grumble. But I’ll always agree.

Please send all good vibes for efficient packing and prep.
I’ll be so very grateful.

Categories: around the house | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

the only way out is through

I’ve not been shy about discussing my recent emotional dilemma.
I’ve not been shy about talking about it with my friend and mentor, Sundance, my sister in law, and Nora. I’ve freaked out to them about relationship stuff, but also just my stuff. Girlfriends lend a sympathetic ear when you’re frustrated. They provide a hard look at your own reflection when you’re feeling overwhelmed. I’ve gotten great advice from each of them…I’ve gotten a bit of crap advice from each of them…but mostly, they’ve just loved me through my struggle.
I have the luck to be friends with a man who is an excellent listener without giving unsolicited advice. I’ve talked to him about me. Where I am personally. In my life…in my head.

Where I’ve been emotionally has a great deal to do with perspective. Mine was skewed. It isn’t anymore. I experienced a shift in my perspective and everything became more clear.
It hit me like lightning! And I became a completely different girl…well not really, but I began to think about things in a completely different way.

Sundance fed my OCD cravings for organization by presenting me with the idea of going back to a paper planner. We discussed brands and what she was using and how, for her, it’s like “scrapbooking” with a purpose. I’m enthusiastically embracing this “old” way of keeping myself organized!
My sister in law encouraged me to write down everything as I thought or felt it, which lead to a new and rather visceral way of journaling.
Nora encouraged me to be patient…and I was…sort of…and turns out being patient lead me to this place.
My friend and mentor reminded me to place the anxiety where it belongs.
A conversation with Jack regarding my reservations about my degree plan lead me to an exciting new idea. He suggested I explore this mind mapping as a way of prioritizing all my “stuff”. The more I looked at this mind mapping, the more I realized it’s rather like an integrated curriculum web! Now this is something with which I have quite a bit of knowledge and experience! And a new, but familiar way of sorting my shit was born!

sample mind map:
mm_examrevision
sample curriculum web:
drake2004_fig1.1

The Robynbird stuff is feeling much more settled. I feel grounded. I feel like I’ve got this. “I am at home with the me. I am rooted in the me who is on this adventure. This is me breathing.” Dr Oatman ain’t got nothing on this little red haired girl.

I finally feel like I can take big deep breaths and move forward.

The relationship stuff…well I didn’t exactly place the anxiety where it belongs, I was simply able to finally put down the anxiety that isn’t mine. Understanding, patience, love, and time is what will ease that weirdness. It’s journey, right? I’m not on a lone journey…how silly of me not to take that into account.
So, we don’t have a clear vision of the journey. So, we don’t know exactly where we’re headed. So, the path gets tricky. The only way out of the woods is through the woods…if we come across lions or tigers or bears (oh my!) we’ll just figure that out then.
The journey we’re on as a couple might just need to make a pit stop. We can do that. Take a break, take a breath, take a nap. And when we’re ready, when each of us is ready to move forward, we’ll begin to move again.
My personal journey, the journey I’m on as a girl getting along and singing her song, is moving at a full tilt boogie. I’m so enthusiastic about it! I’ve been spinning my wheels in the ick for far too long.

The only way out of the ick is through it.
Alanis knows what’s up.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I’m going to need for you to get it together!

The month of May was absolute crap. My favorite of all the months…my birthday birthday month…absolute crap. Not that I want a “do-over” or anything…more along the lines of telling May 2014 to F.R.O.

That said, there was a good part of May…Things 1 and 2 were with me at the same time for the first time in well over a year. I was so glad to have them with me. Thing 2 for such a long time and Thing 1 when we needed to be with the other most.

Now my two Things have gone on…Thing 1 back on the road with N a week ago Wednesday. Thing 2 left on Friday home to her dad’s to celebrate all the summer birthdays of her friends.
Thing C and Thing G left Friday for their week at home with mom and it’s just YBW and me.

Know what we did?
No! Naughties!

We slept. We slept a LOT! I knew how exhausted I was, but the amount of time I spent sleeping this weekend really put it into perspective.

I could not have survived the last month without the love and support of my family and friends, especially Sundance and YBW.
Sundance supplied the xanax and sass I desperately needed. My love for her knows no bounds and my life would be less if she were not a part of it.
I think YBW was just as exhausted as I was, but never wavered, he was so strong for me. Bless him, that precious man I love.

It’s June now. Time to get it together. I’m chock full of things to accomplish this month, for “the estate”, for my classroom school, for my own school, for my family, and for me.
I am filled with willingness…desire, not so much. But I learned a long time ago, “feelings follow actions” so I’m going to act as though I’m getting it together and soon after I’ll feel like I actually am.
As I say to my little students, “I’m going to need for you to get it together.”
Getting it together is going to feel good.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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