Posts Tagged With: family

executrix…may I have another word please?

Posted on June 12, 2014 by robynbird

I found out this week that my dad’s ex-wife (not my mom) is the beneficiary on his life insurance through the police department.
(Would you like to see a container for my joy? Envision a teeny salt cellar spoon…only teenier…nope, still teenier…yes…right about there!)

I have read I can challenge the beneficiary but will need counsel. My cousin has hooked me up with someone she knows…but I have to pay $200 just to meet this woman. And I’m concerned that the ex wife will sue me for a copy of the death certificate…and win.
I would have that money sit and rot before I’d let her have it…so I need to decide how to move forward.

My brother is convinced there is “mortgage insurance” a policy somewhere that will pay the balance of the mortgage on our dad’s house so we can sell it free and clear…so far, I’ve found no evidence…but a close friend of Daddie’s has offered to purchase the house at fair market value, so we are leaning that direction…it would cover the mortgage as well as leave a bit of money for each of our pockets.
I’m inclined to put mine away for Things 1 and 2…but my brother wants me to be in a safer vehicle…mine isn’t unsafe, it’s just made by a manufacturer he doesn’t like.

I’m beginning to dislike the word executrix…specifically because it’s a new “label” for me…I don’t want the responsibility…the hassle…any of it really.
I am taking up the mantle because it was asked of me by my Daddie, he trusted me enough to be the responsible one…
He told me once he was sad I wasn’t his mommy…that I was such a wonderful mommy and he wished sometimes I could have been his mommy and he would know how well he was loved by the way I cared for him.
I’m not his mommy, but I can take care of these last things for him because he was well loved.
That’s what good daughters do.

Categories: loss, love, me | Tags: a good daughter, beneficiary, daughters, death, executrix, family, father, fathers and daughters, grief, life insurance, loss, mortgage insurance, mothers, relationships, responsibility, unconditional love, will | 3 Comments

the night before our stars

Posted on June 6, 2014 by robynbird

Thing C is a fan of John Green, from Vlog Brothers to TFIOS…and last night, Thing C, YBW and I went to “The Night Before Our Stars” a special screening of the movie followed by a live Q and A with the cast, producer, director, and John Green hosted by my own ‘nerd-sexy’ crush Alton Brown. (They were in Atlanta.)

Thing C read the book in the fall, and it’s been sitting on my desk since February waiting for me to read it…there it sits, I just haven’t been able to give it the time and attention I feel it deserves.

We sat in the theater with countless tween and teen fangirls and their parents. It reminded me of when Thing 1 and I went to see any of the Twilight movies. (I know, I know…but she liked the first three books and I loved being able to do something she loved.)

I teased Thing C that he was the oldest fangirl in the room. (He wore it with pride.)

During the film, (Which, BTW, has the perfect amount of sadness.) I heard a chorus of sniffling, but there was one girl who was full on weeping…I mean old-time Irish hired mourners weeping. Then came the derisive sounds, I shot Thing C a look and he nodded before quietly whispering: that girl needs to PTFD. (‘Pipe the fuck down’, thank you, Jenna Marbles.)

Fangirl remarks aside…I adored the movie. I thought it was absolutely beautiful. The Q and A was fun. That John Green is an interesting guy…overly chatty and funny, yet completely humbled by everything that has come of and from his book.

I’m so pleased we could do that together, YBW, his firstborn and I. The experience was more meaningful than the movie itself, as it should be.

Categories: love, me | Tags: Alton Brown, blessings, family, fangirl, feelings, hired mourners, john green, love, movies, Q and A, tfios, the fault in our stars, the night before our stars, unconditional love, Vlog Brothers, YBW | Leave a comment

I’m going to need for you to get it together!

Posted on June 3, 2014 by robynbird

The month of May was absolute crap. My favorite of all the months…my birthday birthday month…absolute crap. Not that I want a “do-over” or anything…more along the lines of telling May 2014 to F.R.O.

That said, there was a good part of May…Things 1 and 2 were with me at the same time for the first time in well over a year. I was so glad to have them with me. Thing 2 for such a long time and Thing 1 when we needed to be with the other most.

Now my two Things have gone on…Thing 1 back on the road with N a week ago Wednesday. Thing 2 left on Friday home to her dad’s to celebrate all the summer birthdays of her friends.
Thing C and Thing G left Friday for their week at home with mom and it’s just YBW and me.

Know what we did?
No! Naughties!

We slept. We slept a LOT! I knew how exhausted I was, but the amount of time I spent sleeping this weekend really put it into perspective.

I could not have survived the last month without the love and support of my family and friends, especially Sundance and YBW.
Sundance supplied the xanax and sass I desperately needed. My love for her knows no bounds and my life would be less if she were not a part of it.
I think YBW was just as exhausted as I was, but never wavered, he was so strong for me. Bless him, that precious man I love.

It’s June now. Time to get it together. I’m chock full of things to accomplish this month, for “the estate”, for my classroom school, for my own school, for my family, and for me.
I am filled with willingness…desire, not so much. But I learned a long time ago, “feelings follow actions” so I’m going to act as though I’m getting it together and soon after I’ll feel like I actually am.
As I say to my little students, “I’m going to need for you to get it together.”
Getting it together is going to feel good.

Categories: me | Tags: best friend, best friends, birthday, desire, exhausted, exhaustion, family, feelings, feelings follow actions, friends, get it together, getting it together, grief, June, love, May, rest, sleep, support, willingness, xanax, YBW | 2 Comments

what the praline started

Posted on June 2, 2014 by robynbird

This morning one of the little students in the other two year old class brought me a praline from New Orleans. How kind of her family to think of me, she was very excited to make sure I got it. Precious!

I realized two things when I ate it after lunch…
The first is: it isn’t as yummy as the ones they make on Market Street in Charleston.
The second is: I miss Charleston… which makes me miss my beloved sister in law and her family, and my dearest friend and mentor.

Charleston is a place I dearly love…mostly because of the time I’ve spent there with people I love…

Thank you, little student for the (not delicious) praline and the wonderful memories it stirred up. I’m smiling about all my wonderful Charleston adventures, and a little bit of extra loving the people I love who live there.

Categories: love, me | Tags: adventure, charleston, family, friends, fun, love, memories, playful, praline, pralines, silly | Leave a comment

saying goodbye

Posted on May 25, 2014 by robynbird

I survived the twenty two days between the death of my dad and his memorial service.
I celebrated YBW’s birthday two days after he died, the arrival of Thing 2 on Mother’s Day, my own birthday the following day, Thing G’s confirmation the end of the same week, his birthday the very next day, the arrival of my estranged brother from the west coast, the arrival of Thing 1 and her fiancé two days later, and finally the memorial service yesterday.

Sundance says I’m a big brave girl and need new shoes…I got new shoes for the service, but I don’t think that’s what she had in mind…shoe shopping is on the agenda.

Yesterday was a very difficult day and the love I received truly held me up when I needed it most. Friends and family who came to grieve the absence of my dad from their lives were there because of the love they had for him. Friends and family came to support me in my grief because they love me. Family I have because of YBW, his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew, who are mine now too, Things C and G’s mom and her husband, they all came because we are family now. Out of the corner of my eye I saw one of my dearest friends from my ‘old’ preschool teaching days sneak into the back of the church, she came because she loves me…that’s the moment my tears began to flow.

The service was actually quite lovely, when I spoke of my dad, there was laughter and tears and love in that room. I hope I made him proud.
The pastor mentioned Daddie told him he was going to be disco dancing up the aisle after his hip healed…that will never happen, but I feel sure he’s dancing his ass off wherever he is.

I am exhausted but peaceful.
I am lifted up by love.
I am glad it’s over.

Categories: death, loss, love | Tags: blended families, blessings, cousins, daughters, death, family, family history, father, fathers and daughters, fellowship, friends, friendship, grief, loss, love, memorial service, peace, relationships, sadness, saying goodbye, support, YBW | 2 Comments

the giving of thanks

Posted on December 1, 2013 by robynbird

I’m not the biggest fan of Thanksgiving…some people say that makes me un-American…I say whatever. I’m thankful every single day for what I have in my life, the people, the love, the joys, even the sadness…they’re mine, you know? And I’m grateful.
So that one day, that day of giving thanks, well I feel as though I’ve got that pretty much covered. To me Thanksgiving Day is simply an excuse for gluttony…and I don’t really eat all that much.

That said, I have to tell you I had the most wonderful holiday weekend! With YBW’s family on Thanksgiving Day, Sundance, Girlie Thing, and Boy Thing on Friday, and my cousin and her family today. Best of all, my own precious Thing 1 has been here with us and Thanksgiving is her absolute favorite holiday! (I suspect because of the gluttony.)
Thing 1 reverted to her goofy child-self around her cousins and Girlie Thing and Boy Thing, she and Boy Thing have always had a special relationship, and when they were together it’s as though not a moment has passed since they saw each other last. She was so smiley and kind of jumpy and very much like she was when she was a little blonde pigtailed girl. So precious to see!

She’s followed me around the house like she’s done since she began to walk…interestingly enough, it doesn’t annoy me, I’m so used to it even though we’ve not been in the same house for so long. She literally follows me everywhere I go, just far enough behind me that she’s not touching me but close enough that I can occasionally feel her breath in my hair. She has always done this, and it amuses me more than anything.
I’ve been so pleased to have my girl with me…she been here 12 days and just stared to annoy me…a reminder of how much better she and I get along when we’re in different places. I think the thing that annoys me about her is that she spends so much time talking about how she’s a “grown-up” but behaves like a little girl…I’m not sure what that means exactly, but I’m not ready for her to leave just yet and that makes me happy.

Sundance has decreed we three must go on a wedding dress hunt…that Sundance and I will eat peanut M&M’s al la Sally Albright while Thing 1 models wedding gowns. Honestly the very thought of this makes me queasy, but Thing 1 is nearly “pants peeing” excited about this little field trip. How can I say no? Perhaps this is…what? Shock therapy? (Whatever it is I vote for champagne and not M&M’s!)

Thing 1 had her Christmas yesterday morning since she’ll be down with her fiancé’s family for Christmas…YBW was kind of tickled that she got so much My Little Pony stuff. (Yeah, my Things and I are Bronies…no shame in our game.) She got new sassy boots and some clothes, funky socks and an antique perfume bottle, and American Girl doll and pony things…she is that peculiar combination of little girl and woman.

Having my girl here in my new home with me has reinforced my gratitude and made me oh so happy!
I don’t need turkey and all the trimmings to celebrate my thanks…just folks to shower with love.