Posts Tagged With: Boy Thing

soulmates

Thing 2 and I were trading Arrested Development quips back and forth via text. In response to what I’d just sent her she wrote: I do that ALL the time and nobody gets it :/
I wrote: You and I need to run away together and never look back.
Thing 2: Awh, Momma! ❤
Me: It might be crazy, but sometimes I think you’re the only person that really understands me.
Thing 2: Aww..Momma ❤ I love you
(then stuff that was precious but isn’t exactly relevant)
Thing 2: I wish I could be your mom more.

I find it ridiculously comforting that my child wants to be my mother. She is a great nurturer. She will be a mom who finds joy in her kids. She will be a foul-mouthed mom that reminds her kids “don’t say that word outside of this house or car”.
I remember being loved by my mother, but not really nurtured by her. Thing 2 is a much better nurturer than Mommie was. I would love for her to be my mom. Can we really be each other’s mom?

I honestly wonder if Thing 2 is my soulmate.

I’ve always maintained that Sundance is my soulmate. We have always said we are two halves of one. I don’t believe that has changed.
But I’m beginning to wonder if I didn’t somehow create my own soulmate. Literally give birth to her. I suspect Sundance and Girlie Thing might be soulmates too. And though Sundance and I are still two halves of one, perhaps we created the souls we are meant to attach ourselves to.

I don’t know. I may be completely off base. Is it strange to think you create your soulmate? It doesn’t’ seem strange to me. It seems perfectly natural.
Though I might not be the best barometer for what is or is not strange.

I believe people are in our lives for a specific reason. We may never know what that reason actually is. I believe we build relationships to help us find what our soul may be lacking. Sometimes it’s simple things that can be gathered easily and the relationship goes as quickly as it began. Sometimes it takes much longer to share souls.

A long time ago, I read an interesting concept of soulmates. It went something like this: Your soulmate isn’t that person who completes you, that you’re meant to be with above all others. Your soulmate is that one who jumpstarts you and shakes you to your core so that you can open up and receive more. You’re not meant to be with that person forever because it would be exhausting.
(I can’t for the life of me remember where I read this.)

I’m not sure I agree with this concept of soulmate. It sounds more like a way to feel better about failed relationships.
I don’t think soulmates have to be your significant other.

I love YBW differently than I’ve ever loved any man in my life. I accept his love differently than any other man in my life. But I don’t believe he is my soulmate. I believe we came together when we were supposed to. I believe that he is the man with whom I am supposed to be.
Believing (and saying) he isn’t my soulmate does not in any way diminish our relationship. Actually, I feel that not believing it makes our relationship even better. We are making a choice to be together.
I digress…

Soulmate. Is there just one? Can Sundance and I be two halves of one and Thing 2 be my soulmate? Do we create our own soulmate? Is it just that Thing 2 and I so alike? Is simply our closeness?
That girl is a part of me. Maybe that’s not a soulmate. Maybe that is simply our bond.

That said, I don’t feel the same way about Thing 1. I love her. She is the human personification of every hope and dream I ever had. But I don’t feel that natural closeness. Even when she was a little girl, we loved, but we were not “on the same page”.
Sundance is the same way with Boy Thing. She loves him. But they’re not connected the way she and Girlie Thing are. It’s easy to say it’s because he’s a boy. But I don’t think that’s why.

Aristophanes tells of humans as having four legs and arms and two heads. He tells that Zeus was concerned that because of their strength, they might rise up against the Gods. So he cuts them in half to weaken them. What he doesn’t count on is their instinctive desire to reunite with the half that was taken from them.
Is that just our lot in human life?
I find it curious. Mostly I find it sad. Doomed to wander, forever searching for your missing half? No wonder we sometimes make crap relationship choices.

I feel like souls are somehow drawn to each other. Not out of desperation, but out of desire to share and experience. I believe souls teach and learn together.
I believe souls connect because they were meant to.

Whether or not my second born is my soulmate doesn’t really matter. What matters is that our souls know each other. That they live and learn and love together.
We are blessed to share and experience without the confines of labels.

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Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

goodbye, Why Not?

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Sundance texted me Tuesday evening: I’m going into mourning. Why Not? is closing.
My response: Oh NO! Saddest face.
Sundance: I just saw it on the news! We need to go check it out.
Me: I’m wide open Friday. Can you go then?
Sundance: I believe so.
Me: Sold!
Sundance: Boo yah!

So I picked her up this morning and we headed into Old Town Alexandria.
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Why Not? Is a toy store on the corner of King and Lee Streets that we have been shopping at for more than twenty years.
I can’t tell you how many times we’ve taken any number of our four kids into the store to climb the steep and narrow stairs to the all important Groovy Girls/Playmobil/book section.
Thing 2 and Girlie Thing had so many pairs of adorably patterned tights from Why Not?
We’ve bought more books from Why Not? than from Amazon in the last twenty years.

Why Not? has been there on the corner for more than 50 years!
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It is heart breaking to know that an independent toy shop just can’t keep up in the day and age of Amazon and Target, etc. Not to mention, it’s probably time for the owner to retire.

I am filled with sadness this afternoon. But I am also flooded with the happiest memories of being in that shop with my girls. Of sneaking down to Old Town when the girls were at school to do a little Christmas or Birthday shopping. Of piling into the car to see the windows decorated for the holidays.

Sundance has been coveting this little dolly for almost two years. It’s made in France and she saw it for over $100.00 at another toy shop. It was $74.00 at Why Not? and everything in the store was 30% off.
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That little brown haired dolly had a red haired sister!
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We decided we needed them desperately…but not enough to actually buy them. Our grown-up brains overrode our dolly needing little girl brains.
‘It was just Christmas. I don’t have a job. Blah blah blah.’
We discussed how my Mommie would have convinced us there is always money for a new dolly. Made us miss her. Sundance talked to her mom after I dropped her off at home, she told her we should have bought the dollies. So much for us being grown-ups.

I did purchase a children’s book.
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It’s about girl power, I absolutely couldn’t pass it up!

Sundance bought two little teeny angel dollies. One for me and one for her.
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I LOOOOOOOVE her!

My sadness runs deeper than I expected. It feels like a part of all the Things childhood has died. Luckily, they’re big kids now. They have happy memories, and hopefully no sadness.
How lucky are we that Why Not? was in our lives for so long!?!

Categories: love, me, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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