therobynbirdsnest

Are you even alive?

Posted on July 18, 2016 by robynbird

At the doctor’s office this morning. The nurse I really like takes my blood pressure. 99 over 74.
She says to me: Girl, are you even alive?
We laughed. But as I sat waiting for the doctor, I began to question it.

Am I even alive?
I breathe.
I eat.
I walk.
I laugh.
That surely means I’m alive.

But sometimes I have that nagging feeling my body is alive. It goes through the motions of this life. But my spirit is disconnected from this body that lives my life.
I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I’ve been feeling hyperconnected to this life over the last few weeks. My spirit firmly integrated into my body, my life.
Spending sacred time in Charleston with my friend and mentor, and my family. Doing good work from my heart.
Being home has been more of an adjustment than expected. I did not realize how much I missed my sister in law until I spent that time with her. I didnt realize how much I’d missed YBW until I saw his face.
I’m present in this body. In this life.

I didn’t sleep well last night. Plauged with bad dreams, and woke with head pain.
Am I alive because I have pain?
Pain can make one question everything.

I physically shook my body in an attempt to shake off this line of questioning.

Here’s what I believe:
I am alive becuase I am aware.
And I’m going to leave it at that.

Categories: me | Tags: alive, doctor, life, mind and body, pain, spirituality | 2 Comments

back door slam

Posted on July 18, 2016 by robynbird

A very cool someone shared this guy and I’ve become obsessed!
Obsessed!
Y’all gotta check it out!

Davy Knowles and Back Door Slam

Categories: me | Tags: Back Door Slam, blues rock, Davy Knowles, i dig music, Isle of Man, music, music that moves, Robert Cray, Roll Away | 1 Comment

sassy Robynbird

Posted on July 17, 2016 by robynbird

Sometimes I’m so good I even surprise myself.

I’m writing things that move.
Accomplishing things I didn’t even set out to do.

I’m editing things that need to go.
Words that no longer hold meaning.

Even took my new colored pencils for a spin.

They don’t work the way I expected them to work, but they make beautiful color.

I’m having a rather sassy sort of day.
Can I get an amen!?!

Categories: me | Tags: colored pencils, sassy, sense of accomplishment, writer, writing | 1 Comment

Samsung stainless up in here!

Posted on July 17, 2016 by robynbird

New appliances arrived yesterday! They’re resting beautifully now in the kitchen. The refrigerator hums quietly and occasionally drops ice into the tray.

The marks on the fridge are from me hugging it.
This just might be the new love of my life!

The gas range still wrapped in cardboard and plastic slid perfectly into place.

I can hardly wait to cook with this!!

The dishwasher stands next to it’s new home waiting to be installed.

Meh, I hate to do dishes…but a new dishwasher means clean dishes the first time around AND (hopefully) no more of my plates get broken.

An old family friend comes tomorrow to install the two smaller appliances.
So it’s kind of like two appliance days in the same week! I get to oodgey-goodgey them for a couple days before I even use them! Wonder what I’ll cook first!?!

Categories: around the house, me | Tags: appliances, around the house, for the home, kitchen, kitchen remodel, samsung, stainless steel | 3 Comments

red like me

Posted on July 15, 2016 by robynbird

I bought myself a little pressie yesterday, and thanks to Amazon Prime, it arrived today.

They’re oil based colored pencils! They’re supposed to work like oil pastels without the mess…guess we’ll see about that.

Look! This one is red just like me!

Categories: me | Tags: color, colored pencils, coloring, oil pastels, pressie, red | 5 Comments

feather your nest

Posted on July 14, 2016 by robynbird

You know when an idea takes hold of you and you can’t see anything else? I’m experiencing that right now.
My sister in law suggested I somehow parlay my mad organizational skills into a business. She called it “feather your nest” as a play on The Robynbird’s Nest.
She suggested that I provide organizational services for people’s closets, pantries, etc., as well as packing for trips.
I should have taken photos of my bag packed coming home from Charleston as an example…but I unpacked it too quickly this morning to remember.

I haven’t the marketing skills to help it go from idea to income. But I have the organizational skills to make it work…
You know, the more this idea sits with me, the more I fall in love with it.

It reminds me of this children’s book by Kobi Yamata, beautifully illustrated by Mae Besom.

Pretty much the gist is the child has an idea but doesn’t know what to do with it at first, but it continues to follow him around.

But sometimes asking what other’s think about an idea isn’t the simplest thing.

The last page of the book says,
“And then, I realized what you do with an idea…
You change the world.”

Now, I don’t expect to change the world with this “feather your nest” idea. But I will say this. I changed my friend and mentor’s home. I changed my own home…several of my own homes. My sister in law is adamant I come change her home.
So maybe, just maybe, this idea has room to grow.

Categories: around the house | Tags: around the house, book, children's books, feather your nest, for the home, home, I've got mad skills, idea, Kobi Yamada, love, Mae Besom, organi, organizational skills, organize, packing, suitcase, unpacking, what do you do with an idea | 2 Comments

my time in the Holy City

Posted on July 12, 2016 by robynbird

I’m in Charleston at my sister in law’s house watching my ten year old niece practicing push ups. I moved here yesterday. It was a smart choice as my friend and mentor’s family came to visit. Our time overlapped one day, it was lovely to see them. It felt like a natural end to our time together. We decided she should be with her family and I should be with mine.
She and I had our sacred time together. So it only makes sense we should have that time with our families too.

My friend and mentor’s boudoir and en suite are now the “Perfect Greige” thanks to Sherwin Williams…and me. She picked me up at the airport and we never stopped working until yesterday after breakfast! The results are magazine worthy! I’m so tired, but I loved every moment of helping her make that house her home.
We were catty. We laughed heartily. We sat quietly with sadness. We drank obscene amounts of wine. We worked hard. We enjoyed our time together fully.
She is handling the death of her beloved with such grace. I am in awe of her. She is feeling everything, accepting each feeling as it happens. She embraces “Sad” as much as she embraces “Joy”. I kind of want to be like her when I grow up.

My niece has moved on to “bowl V’s” and a “lemon squeezer” which pretty much means she’s working her core. I am amazed at what she can make her body do.
We’re waiting for the rest of the family to get out of bed. Her mom is awake, but lying in bed reading the news. Her dad and brother are still sleeping. Scratch that. Her brother is awake, I can hear him sneezing. I guess we’ll begin our day soon. I hear there’s french toast in our future. Yay!

The beach still calls to me…perhaps this afternoon…

Categories: me | Tags: breakfast, charleston, family, grace, grief, holy city, love, paint, painting, perfect greige, sacred time, sherwin williams | 2 Comments

happy birthday to Thing 2

Posted on July 11, 2016 by robynbird

Today is Thing 2’s nineteenth birthday!
My sweet angel baby has been in the world for nineteen years.
She is a miracle. She almost died twice before she was eight weeks old. She’s a fighter. A survivor.
I went into the NICU to see her before she was even twelve hours old. I reached to touch her little hand and she grabbed my finger so tightly. In that moment my whole life changed. I fell in love in an entirely new way. In that moment I knew she was going to be fine. She was so strong, that tiny little girl.
She is my gift from God.
She is light and love and deep dark feelings. She of the waspish tongue and deliciously dry wit. She is hopes and dreams even though she’s forgotten how to hope and dream.
I love her more than the moon and the stars.

Categories: love, on being a mom | Tags: birthday, blessings, daughters, delight, dreams, feelings, happy birthday, hope, joy, light, love, motherhood, mothers and daughters, NICU, Thing 2, unconditional love | Leave a comment

getting my “basic” on

Posted on July 7, 2016 by robynbird

I’m getting my “basic” on at the airport waiting for my flight to Charleston.

YBW dropped me off early this morning so he could make it to a meeting. Turns out it was a good thing, there were only two security lines open. (Yep. You read that right, only two.)
I was able to read all my email twice before I even got to where the bins are.
I was in line behind a family with a two or three year old. He climbed into his stroller and said: Ta DA! (loved it)
I had concerns they weren’t going to have it together when it came time to actually get theough security. To my delight, this mom, dad, and little boy were on top of it and we got through lickety-split!

Now I’m waiting at the gate, peach green tea lemonade in hand. I’m going to answer email then read my book.
Oh, and listen to Zee Avi.

Categories: me | Tags: airport, basic, book, Starbucks, travel, Zee Avi | Leave a comment

the value of belief systems

Posted on July 6, 2016 by robynbird

In my fb feed “on this day” I read a post from 2009 that moved me today the way it did seven years ago.

“Saw a sign today: It isn’t hard to make decisions if you know what your values are. Shall we ponder that for a while?”

Now we all know our core values. They’re constant. They’re unchanging. But what about the values that aren’t deeply embedded in our core? The ones that are a little more pliant? They change as we change. As we grow as individuals. Things that we believed when we’re young may not be completely different as we grow up, but they…what? Adapt. Yes, adapt.
We adapt our belief systems as we move through life. We learn new and different things and this further shapes our values. In some extreme cases, it rewrites them completely.
I know that my values have changed as I have. That I can’t become who I am meant to be if my belief system remains rigid and unchanging. I have experienced people who refuse to let their values ebb and flow with new experiences and learning. These people never grow as human beings. They’re not in touch with who they are within. They’re not in touch with who they are in the world.
My mom was one such person. I believe that she could not or would not adapt because she had to keep such tight reign over herself to simply function in the world.

I have always been someone who looks at the world in black and white. I inherited that from my father. And while I am most comfortable in this mindset, I’m realizing there is so much more gray in the world. And that the grayness doesn’t actually have to be a “bad thing”.
I’m learning that as I adapt, so do my values. BUT I’m also learning that because I know and understand my belief system, I’m able to better make decisions about my life.

I strongly believe my beliefs and nothing can change that. That helps me make decisions every single day.
My values change as I learn and grow. Not the values themselves, but the way they guide me changes.
Schoolhouse Rock taught me that “Knowledge is Power!”.
The more I learn the better my belief system becomes. The better my values guide my decisions. The better chance I have to become the me I’m meant to be.