There is a Hebrew word I absolutely adore.
It means watchtower.
The biblical example comes from the story of Jacob and Laban, after a bit of drama, the men come to an agreement with God as their only witness. They create a tower of stones to symbolize it.
It was also called Mizpah, because he said, May the LORD keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.
Genesis 31:49 NIV
Of course, mizpah has a more commonly understood meaning.
The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another.
Think about that for a moment.
Let it fill you completely.
A magnificent and sacred blessing. An ancient word of inspiration and protection. A word that goes beyond the boundaries of social and cultural norms, and of faith. A spiritual symbol of hope and love and peace.
Many of the people I love most live far away from me.
Two of them are my babies. Grown ass women, but always my babies.
Time and distance are irrelevant because of mizpah. We are blessed with the knowledge that we are safe and connected when we are apart because of the strength of our love.
Mizpah gives us the opportunity to actively love without constraints of time and distance, and keeps us all anchored in that love until we are fortunate enough to be in the same physical space.
Those of you whom I love so dearly and deeply, this word is my gift to you. The promise that our love will be safe when we’re apart, and the light to guide us back to one another.
The Kills is my soundtrack as I journal this morning.
This may seem counterintuitive as I’m writing about spirituality, but it’s working for me.
Please listen responsibly.
Tags: Alison Mosshart, Doing it to Death, enigma, focus on self, hashtag, i dig music, Jamie Hince, journaling, journals, music, self, self awareness, Sour Cherry, spirituality, The Kills, writer, writing
At the doctor’s office this morning. The nurse I really like takes my blood pressure. 99 over 74.
She says to me: Girl, are you even alive?
We laughed. But as I sat waiting for the doctor, I began to question it.
Am I even alive?
That surely means I’m alive.
But sometimes I have that nagging feeling my body is alive. It goes through the motions of this life. But my spirit is disconnected from this body that lives my life.
I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I’ve been feeling hyperconnected to this life over the last few weeks. My spirit firmly integrated into my body, my life.
Spending sacred time in Charleston with my friend and mentor, and my family. Doing good work from my heart.
Being home has been more of an adjustment than expected. I did not realize how much I missed my sister in law until I spent that time with her. I didnt realize how much I’d missed YBW until I saw his face.
I’m present in this body. In this life.
I didn’t sleep well last night. Plauged with bad dreams, and woke with head pain.
Am I alive because I have pain?
Pain can make one question everything.
I physically shook my body in an attempt to shake off this line of questioning.
Here’s what I believe:
I am alive becuase I am aware.
And I’m going to leave it at that.