love

appliance day

Appliance Day!
It’s not a holiday for the general public, just for me!
It’s like Christmas and my Birthday and something else SUPER GREAT all rolled into one.

First the old washer was removed:
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Bye, Felicia!

The new washer in the garage waiting to be brought inside:
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Hello, Lover!

Both machines all set up!:
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Eeeeeeeeee!

Just in case I need to know something about these particular models:
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I read nothing I didn’t already know…
But they’re all laminated and have little suction cups to attach them to the machines. How cute is that?

A load running in each machine:
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Tuesday is my scheduled laundry day and these new machines are kicking ass!

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inexhaustible love

I wrote about a precious young man I love in loving yourself.
I found out this week that he has testicular cancer.
He is twenty-one years old.
He’s had the tumor and one testicle removed but the cancer spread to one (and only one) of his lymph nodes near his right kidney.
He will start chemotherapy on Monday.

When his mom told me she asked that I not tell the girls, that he would want to do that in his own time. Today she asked me to share the news with them, he mustn’t have wanted to go over it again and again.

Thing 1, who calls him her brother, took the news better than I could have hoped. I expected her to fall apart. She didn’t. She held it together, asked intelligent questions, expressed her love for him, his family and for me. I apologized for being the bearer of bad news. She told me she was glad it was me, that I always give it to her straight, answer all her questions, and do it all with so much love.
I sent her a text a couple hours later to see how she was holding up. She already spoke with his boyfriend and was actually talking with him at the time.
She has enough stubborn love to keep him healthy by sheer force of her will.

Thing 2 listened and was uncharacteristically quiet. She asked about his siblings and boyfriend. We talked about him losing his beautiful hair but she decided he’s going to rock the bald! Then she joked about medical marijuana. She chastised herself for cracking wise. But in our family, we laugh at all things, good and bad. It’s a way to keep everything in perspective.
I told her the high percentage rate of curability and that I honestly believed he would be cancer free after his chemo. She was relieved, explaining that she was using my belief as her barometer of concern. She told me she’s learned that I know exactly how much to worry or be hopeful about every situation and that she always takes her cue from me.
However much she thinks she ‘hates people’, she’s one of the most positive human beings and he will be basking in everything she can send to him.

My heart aches for my dear, dear friend and her husband. The fear they must be experiencing. She’s so brave. She loves her kids with such ferocity. But this isn’t something she can sort. She has to wait while God and modern medicine sort it.
Being a parent is simultaneously the most wonderful and horrifically difficult experience. This is one of those times difficult takes center stage. But wonderful waits in the wings in the form of family and friends lifting each other up with love and light.

My love for this young man is inexhaustible.
I know love doesn’t really conquer all. But in this case, I’m going to believe that tremendous amounts of love and a little bit of chemo will kick cancer’s ass!

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an unexpected gift

Sundance and I spent the afternoon together yesterday. We went to lunch, (Mexican, YUM!) went to get our hair done, (two cute new dos) and ran errands (to purchase ribbon at AC Moore).
We came back home and hung out while I made her some bows. YBW came home excited to see Sundance. (They were very close friends in elementary school.) There were hugs and kisses then he went into the other room. But the noises were not those of him emptying his pockets like he normally does. They were of metal banging and rustling plastic. Sundance and I looked at each other waiting for him to find the pressie I left on his chair.
He comes into the room with his hands behind his back. Then he presents us with the precious dollies we fell in love with when we went to say goodbye, Why Not?.

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Redhaired “Adele” for me and brunette “Jeanne” for Sundance.
(Yes, there was squealing!)

After Sundance left I took my dollie upstairs to our bedroom.
I thanked YBW again and told him it was kind of him to get both dollies. He told he almost gave me mine for Valentine’s day, but he’s glad he waited because the look on Sundance’s face made it all worth it.
What a sneaky bugger my husband is.
What a precious, kind man my husband is.

I was all smiles this morning when little Adele greeted me from my comfy chair.
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I picked her up and hugged her and started my day. Her face makes my heart so happy I can hardly stand it!
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shouting from my soapbox

I saw an article this morning on Scary Mommy: Our Kids Don’t Need F@*#ing Pedal Desks, They Need Recess.
A Kentucky kindergarten teacher got a $12,000.00 grant to install ‘pedal desks’ in her classroom for (wait for it…) “when kindergartners get tired of sitting still.”

I BEG YOUR PARDON!?! (or: WHAT THE EVER-LOVING F**K!?!)
Kindergartners are five and six years old! Five and six! Is there ever a time when they DO sit still? They need to move their bodies! Their brain development relies on that!! How can they be expected to learn anything ‘strapped’ to a desk?
Is this simply another example of the misunderstanding about recess? Recess is about social interactions and imaginative play in addition to movement and exercise. Some of the most important social-emotional development happens when children play together freely.
Recess is a time for unstructured play. Children learn to respect and appreciate each other’s feelings by cooperating and taking turns. They understand that there is a natural give and take to play. If play is designed by one child and doesn’t evolve in a way the all the children like, two things can happen. They’ll either walk away which forces the change in play or they will discuss the changes they’d like to see. More often than not, the entire group will work together to create play that pleases everyone. These children practice negotiation and cooperation without even realizing it.
I’ve focused on social and emotional development and completely ignored the benefits of play to gross and fine motor development. But that seems more obvious to me.

Children need to move their bodies fairly regularly! I’m forty four years old and need to move mine often!
A classroom can and should be a place where you can move about and have different kinds of learning centers.
I know it’s hard to “meet each child where s/he is” but it’s easy to create a safe and authentic learning environment where students and teachers can move their bodies to help the teaching and learning process.

I started kindergarten in our country’s bicentennial year. I realize things have changed since then.
I remember my kindergarten class had a housekeeping area, a “writing center”, dress-ups, blocks and interlocking bricks for math. Sometimes we sat in chairs at big tables and other times we sat in a circle “Indian style” on carpet squares. We got read to and we honed our social skills through play. I could already read and write when I started kindergarten, but that’s just me. I remember loving being at school. It was fun and I actually realized I was learning. I was in half-day kindergarten and there was time for learning, snack, AND recess!

Thing 1 and Thing 2 had individual desks and chairs in their kindergarten classes. But they were grouped into fours in the center of the room to make room for the play based learning centers. Interestingly they were similar to the ones I talked about in my kindergarten classroom. There was a math center with big and little blocks and clocks to play with. I loved that! Little and big hands to move around the numbers. There was a writing center with crayons and markers and colored pencils. (Any scribbling is the beginning of writing.) There was a little kitchen and a mirror and babies.
Thing 1 was in kindergarten twenty three years after I was and there was still learning through play in kindergarten classrooms. Her teacher told me: I need them to walk into my classroom and be able to recognize their name and write it in some way that I can read it, even if it’s not right. I need them to be able to recognize number up to twenty. I need them to know their colors. The rest is up to me and the first grade teachers.
Thing 1 could do all those things, even though she wrote her nine letter name in a mix of capital and lower case letters. She was already reading a little. She was the only white girl in a class of nineteen kids. I was thrilled that she was going to experience that much diversity!
(There were 33 countries represented in our elementary school of 500 students.)

From the pedal desk article:

“Our kids need recess, not pedal desks so they can move while they work like little bots. Seriously, is this real life? Why are kindergartners even sitting in one place long enough to need pedal desks? That’s a question we should be asking ourselves.”

I believe in asking that question. But the people answering it are not educators. They don’t know what’s best for children. Here’s a thought: what if we have educators creating curriculum and education policy? Politicians designing this country’s curriculum can’t see past test scores. Gotta keep up with the Chinese and all that rot.
But in Peter Gray’s article, Give childhood back to children: if we want our offspring to have happy, productive and moral lives, we must allow more time for play, not less, he writes:

“Educators in East Asian nations have increasingly been acknowledging the massive failure of their educational systems. According to the scholar and author Yong Zhao, who is an expert on schools in China, a common Chinese term used to refer to the products of their schools is gaofen dineng, which essentially means good at tests but bad at everything else. Because students spend nearly all of their time studying, they have little opportunity to be creative, discover or pursue their own passions, or develop physical and social skills. Moreover, as revealed by a recent large-scale survey conducted by British and Chinese researchers, Chinese schoolchildren suffer from extraordinarily high levels of anxiety, depression and psychosomatic stress disorders, which appear to be linked to academic pressures and lack of play.”

What’s sad is teachers have no real choice. This woman was trying to make the school day better for FIVE and SIX year olds(!!) while accomplishing the unrealistic and inappropriate goal the government set for when these children leave her classroom.
There is something inherently wrong with this country’s education system. How many lives will be negatively impacted before something changes?
Childhood was snatched away from children. They’re forced to learn and do things at ages when their brains aren’t actually developed to do them. This skips natural and necessary building processes in the brain! And they can’t go play!
My heart breaks.
And my hackles go up!

Categories: education, love, me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

goodbye, Why Not?

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Sundance texted me Tuesday evening: I’m going into mourning. Why Not? is closing.
My response: Oh NO! Saddest face.
Sundance: I just saw it on the news! We need to go check it out.
Me: I’m wide open Friday. Can you go then?
Sundance: I believe so.
Me: Sold!
Sundance: Boo yah!

So I picked her up this morning and we headed into Old Town Alexandria.
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Why Not? Is a toy store on the corner of King and Lee Streets that we have been shopping at for more than twenty years.
I can’t tell you how many times we’ve taken any number of our four kids into the store to climb the steep and narrow stairs to the all important Groovy Girls/Playmobil/book section.
Thing 2 and Girlie Thing had so many pairs of adorably patterned tights from Why Not?
We’ve bought more books from Why Not? than from Amazon in the last twenty years.

Why Not? has been there on the corner for more than 50 years!
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It is heart breaking to know that an independent toy shop just can’t keep up in the day and age of Amazon and Target, etc. Not to mention, it’s probably time for the owner to retire.

I am filled with sadness this afternoon. But I am also flooded with the happiest memories of being in that shop with my girls. Of sneaking down to Old Town when the girls were at school to do a little Christmas or Birthday shopping. Of piling into the car to see the windows decorated for the holidays.

Sundance has been coveting this little dolly for almost two years. It’s made in France and she saw it for over $100.00 at another toy shop. It was $74.00 at Why Not? and everything in the store was 30% off.
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That little brown haired dolly had a red haired sister!
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We decided we needed them desperately…but not enough to actually buy them. Our grown-up brains overrode our dolly needing little girl brains.
‘It was just Christmas. I don’t have a job. Blah blah blah.’
We discussed how my Mommie would have convinced us there is always money for a new dolly. Made us miss her. Sundance talked to her mom after I dropped her off at home, she told her we should have bought the dollies. So much for us being grown-ups.

I did purchase a children’s book.
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It’s about girl power, I absolutely couldn’t pass it up!

Sundance bought two little teeny angel dollies. One for me and one for her.
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I LOOOOOOOVE her!

My sadness runs deeper than I expected. It feels like a part of all the Things childhood has died. Luckily, they’re big kids now. They have happy memories, and hopefully no sadness.
How lucky are we that Why Not? was in our lives for so long!?!

Categories: love, me, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

dreaming Clara’s dream

Eeeeeeeeee!
Last night was The Nutcracker!
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We found our seats and had a little clap and squeal!
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The curtain was late going up by about ten minutes and it was as hot as hell in the theater. But we were honestly the happiest girls in the world!
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I adore Septime Webre, The Washington Ballet‘s Artistic Director. He’s an absolute genius!
Take a peek at his note from the playbill.
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I love his American vision for The Nutcracker. George Washington as the Nutcracker was precious.
Thank you Clara, for sharing your beautiful dream with us!
I experienced a few happy tears during Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.

Here’s a little treat for you:

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busy and lazy Christmas fun

Thing 2 and I met Sundance and Girlie Thing yesterday morning for a bit of last minute Christmas shopping. We didn’t know Girlie Thing was going to be with her mom. I saw her before Thing 2 did and when I said it out loud, Thing 2 took off running down the store’s main aisle into the outstretched arms of her cousin. My heart grew three sizes that moment.
Sundance announced her progress since her surgery and Girlie Thing announced she has a boyfriend! There was a great deal of squealing and giggling.

Thing 2’s boyfriend D decided at the last moment to come here for Christmas. Which is wonderful! But…there are not gifts for him under the tree. I sent his Christmas Eve jammies and book and a couple of other things down to him earlier in the month.
But now that he’s going to be here Christmas morning, we had some quick shopping to do. The mom in me and the dad in YBW couldn’t abide him being the only person with nothing under the tree. YBW tasked Thing 2 straight away with the job of going with me to choose things for him. It was cute, he was all: This is your job! You can’t do anything else until it’s finished!
We not only managed to finish in one day, but get everything wrapped too!

Then the lazy fun started! Holiday movie time!
We started with Love Actually while I wrapped his gifts. The whole time making fun of the articles I sent her before I wrote about the haters in I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes….
We took a break when YBW came home to eat a quick dinner and then organized ALL the pressies, moved the bulk downstairs.
We snuggled up on the sofa and went straight back to it. Thing 2 wishes the haters some ‘Love Actually’ peace.
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We had a mini-debate on whether to watch The Holiday or Miracle on 34th Street (the original). Thing 1 wants to see Miracle on 34th Street, but we figured we could watch it twice…
We did the age old “behind the back choosing” and realized we wanted The Holiday most.
I popped corn and we got sorted on the sofa ready to go. Thing 2 gives two thumbs up.
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Today’s movies: Miracle on 34th Street (to be watched again at some point after Thing 1 arrives tomorrow afternoon) and White Christmas. (I’ve watched it two and a half times already this season, but Thing 2 has never seen it and I think she’ll like it.)

What will we do this evening you ask?
Why, The Nutcracker, of course! So much squealing and clapping!

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making a list and checking it twice

I’ve been so busy making lists and checking them twice, I just realized I haven’t started a countdown to everything I’m excited about in the next two weeks!
Thing 2 will be here in four days! We’ll be at the ballet in six. Thing 1 and fiance N will be here the very next day.
Okey doke, countdown checked off my list.

I talked with Thing 2 today and we’re all about getting dressed up all fancy to go to the ballet. Even though we’ve seen the Nutcracker several times, we’re both positively giddy! There will be so much squealing and clapping. We’re just little girls at heart.

YBW had the idea that we should do our annual trip to see the nativities at the Cathedral on Christmas Eve. I can hardly wait to see all the baby Jesuses!
Both the girls are excited to go and you know I’m thrilled! It’s my favorite Christmas outing and this year, my camera’s stupid SD card won’t be wonky so I won’t lose all my photos!

The boys come home from their mom’s after church Christmas Eve, then we’ll do Christmas Eve pressies. They know they’ll find jammies and a book under the tree, but love the tradition. I’m so pleased I’ve been able to introduce this special tradition to YBW and the boys. Thing G absolutely adores his jammies.

All the gift shopping is finished. I’ve wrapped everything and sorted out all the stocking “stuffers” into individual bags for ease of filling on Christmas Eve.
The majority of Christmas dinner has been ordered from Wegmans with a few special dishes to be made here at home. Thing 1 loves to cook, so I’m counting on her to be my sous chef. Actually, I’d rather be her sous chef…but we’ll see how it goes. Thing 2 is developing her cooking skills so we’ll call her to action too. Thing C is great at getting everything set up, so I’ll be relying on him for that.
With YBW’s mom, and brother and his family, we’ll be eleven for Christmas dinner. There’s a part of me that balks at the concept, but what the hell? The more the merrier!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
My joy is simply unquantifiable!

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early morning trains

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This is what we do at my house before 6:30 on a Saturday morning. It’s been fourteen years since I had a four year old in my home.
I forgot how early they wake up!

My sweetie, little D needed someone to look after him while his daddy went to a holiday party last night. So I picked him up at school yesterday (after spending an hour visiting former colleagues and students) brought him home where he and Thing G and I watched all the ponies episodes off the DVR then when Thing C came home we ate little D’s favorite dinner: “Apoachlay” (that would be Chipotle to you and me). We played a little while then he went to bed.
Sweet dreams, little D.

This morning at 5:30 my bedroom door opens and little D comes across the room he says: Hi Robynbird! Hi YBW!
Then he climbs in bed for a snuggle and the first thing he says is: You hot Robynbird. (My skin was warm from being under the blankies and his feet were COLD!) He accidentally kicked the blankets on the other side of him and said: Oh! I sorry, YBW.
I told him YBW wasn’t in bed, he was downstairs on his computer.
He said: We go see him.
I said: Not yet, let’s snuggle for a minute.
A minute was not a lie…we were up and he was raring to go. (But he had to be quiet because Thing C and Thing G were still sleeping.)

So trains it was.
YBW and I built the track and little D drove the train all around.
Then he ate two huge bowls of cereal then got dressed. It wasn’t much longer before he got picked up to go to swim lessons.
Did I go back to bed?
Nope.
Why not? You ask.
Because I’m an idiot.

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dance of the sugar plum fairy

Thing 2 arrives December twentieth, three days before her sister. It’s just how it worked out, Fiance N is coming with Thing 1, but boyfriend D isn’t coming with Thing 2. Thing 2 will be here for Christmas, but back in SC with boyfriend D for New Years. Thing 1 and N will stay with us through the new year.

Thing 2 and I are going to oodgey-goodgey our favorite theatrical entertainment and see The Washington Ballet dance The Nutcracker at Warner Theatre.

photo cred: The Washington Ballet

photo cred: The Washington Ballet

We’ve seen this particular ballet before. (More than once, even.) But how could I pass up the opportunity when I haven’t had Christmas with my baby at actual Christmastime in two years?

I left her a message asking if she’d like to go. I got a text back within three minutes that read: Dude, yes!! I’m sorry I didn’t answer, I’m having a deep talk with Anna. (Her BFFL, who just recently returned to SC.) But I would absolutely love to go!

I’m so excited we’re going to the ballet!
I’m so excited both my babies will be with me for Christmas!
YBW is excited he doesn’t have to go to the ballet with me. (Yet…The National Ballet of Canada is coming to the Kennedy Center Opera House with Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale in January…I asked him the moment he got home if he’d go with me…cross your fingers!)
He doesn’t hate the ballet, but he doesn’t love it…he goes because he loves me and I suspect he secretly gets a great deal of pleasure experiencing my absolutely pure ballet joy.

Thing 2 was a ballerina for six years, then figure skater for two. (I’ve always considered figure skating as ballet on ice.) She didn’t do it because of me. She did it because she announced one day at the age of two that she was going to be a prima ballerina when she grew up. (How the eff did she even know what that was at that age?)
The kid was a natural. But when the ballet studio changed ownership it became a place where she grew increasingly uncomfortable. She announced she was finished. I searched for another school, but she had lost her passion. It had become tainted for her.
I wonder if she really even remembers that.

We share this deep love for the ballet, and together we will be as little girls joining Clara on the night of her astounding dream.
We’re going on the twenty second of December, it would have been my mom’s seventieth birthday. Somehow that makes it even more special to me.

Bolshoi Ballet’s Nina Kaptsova Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy 2010

Categories: love, me, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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