Posts Tagged With: William Shakespeare

we are not our feelings

Thing 2 was feeling her feels this morning.
Anxious and fearful.
Her sister and I (and Baby K) showed up ready to rock.
Y’all, I’m talking loving, supportive girl power to the nth degree. But that’s what we do for each other.

Thing 2 works in a cool Asian fusion restaurant. She is currently the senior-most server.

She wrote in our group chat: There’s a 35 top coming in as soon as we open
Me: May the Force be with you!

Thing 1: You are amazing, just be your charming self and you’ll get good tips and you’re going to be OK

I stopped for a moment. I realized we both jumped in to ‘rescue’ her. I considered that she might simply be expressing herself. Perhaps she didn’t need to be bucked up, perhaps she needed to be heard.

Me: It sounds like a complicated situation. Your anxiety makes sense. It’s overwhelming af! You’re feeling your feels

Thing 1: You got this!
Me: So wig out for a couple more moments. Like, seriously, set a timer. Then steel yourself. You are so capable. And(!!!) you can guide them along instead of waiting to see what they want.

Thing 1: (FTW) Don’t do that. Be pleasant and gregarious, and you’ll be great!

Thing 1: You’re the Thing 2est Thing 2 that ever Thing 2ed!

Me: Your anxiety makes sense in this situation. However, you actually possess the skills and abilities to make this situation successful for yourself and your customers!

Thing 1: And once it’s all over, you’ll be done! My therapist always says there’s a finish line, you just have to get to it and you can move on to the next thing. It will end and it will be behind you and you can move on.
Me: YESSSSSSSS!
Thing 2: Wow. I like her.

Thing 1:

Me: Breathe. You’ve got this! Look, if chubby, somewhat drunk looking Baby K believes in you…you can’t possibly fail!
Thing 2: I WAS JUST GONNA SAY SHE LOOKS DRUNK! What a beautiful tiny encourager
Me: You have the most powerful women on your side! We’ve got you, and you’ve got this! I love you more than the moon and the stars!

We did that.
We were her cheerleaders.
We encouraged her.
We reminded her of what she’s capable of doing.

We also honored her feelings.
We acknowledged her fear and anxiety.
We reassured her that her feelings are valid, and in this situation, made sense.
We reminded her she is not her feelings.

I think we all need to be reminded of that.
We are not our feelings.
We experience them but we are not them.
I read somewhere, I can’t for the life of me remember where, but it went something like this.
Feelings are like the rain, we might walk in the rain, but we are not the rain.

We don’t become our feelings.
We feel our feelings.

Thing 2 was feeling the hell out of her feelings today.
But, with a little bit of love and support from her momma, big sister, and baby niece, she didn’t let herself become them.

Later this afternoon we got this:

Me: Brava, Thing 2! You DID it!
Thing 1: Way to go! We knew you could do it!!!!

Taking a break to sit in the grass.
(I’m purposely ignoring the smoking.)
She needed to feel connected to the earth. She needed to feel grounded.

35 people came into the restaurant and Thing 2 served them.
The world didn’t explode, and neither did she.

Though she be but little, she is fierce.
Even the fiercest among us need a bit of encouragement now and again.

Categories: on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

our revels now are ended

My precious husband has joined me in the least cool club on the planet.
The Orphan Club.
We are adult children with no living parents.
Please send him healing love.

YBW’s darling mother died quietly in her sleep Wednesday afternoon. She was 87 and lived a life full of love and joy. In her last few years, she suffered with CHF (congestive heart failure) and her health declined rapidly in the last six weeks.

Today we went about dealing with the business of death. YBW, his brother and his wife, and I met with the funeral director and cemetery personnel. I used my mad organizational and list making skills to plan and coordinate. It’s my way of being helpful.

Tomorrow is YBW’s birthday.
We’re keeping our plans for dinner with friends in the evening, and celebrating with his boys Saturday afternoon. He deserves to be celebrated in the midst of our grief.

He is brave and strong, even though he doesn’t feel like he is. I watch him. I see what he experiences written on his face, in his body language. He is exhausted. He is anxious. But he is grounded in the love of friends and family. And he is grounded by me.

Our family is feeling quiet in our grief, but the love coming at us is truly overwhelming in the most beautiful way.

I am reminded of Prospero’s words in The Tempest:

You do look, my son, in a moved sort,
As if you were dismayed. Be cheerful, sir.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.
Yes, indeed.

Categories: love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

all time favorite literary charaters

I hate New Yorkers

Thing C posted this to my facebook wall Friday afternoon. We share a strong common love for The Great Gatsby. We talked about the post at breakfast Saturday morning. I remarked that it’s funny and sad because it’s true. He agreed, especially the I hate New Yorkers part. We laughed that Nick was all, “bye Felicia” to New York to go home to the midwest.

Nick Carraway, without a doubt, is one of my all time favorite literary characters.

Actually, this reminds me of a question from the “Proust Questionnaire”: Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Here is my answer: Nick Carraway, Katherine Minola (from Taming of the Shrew), Colonel Christopher Brandon, Princess Elizabeth (from The Paper Bag Princess), Kate Cummings (from The Secret of the Strawbridge Place), and Ron Weasley.

My love for Nick Carraway began when I first read Gatsby in American Lit my junior year of high school. I’m acutely aware that there is many a Nick Carraway character analysis out there in the world. But what I love about him is that he’s hopeful, but realistically so. Not like Gatsby with the unattainable green dock light. Nick is at once involved in the shenanigans yet remains apart from it. He understands what he sees and isn’t blinded by all the gilt trappings. He understood that though Gatsby was doomed, because he would never be able to relive the past, his intentions were pure.
One of my favorite lines is this one about the Buchanans: “They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”

Katherine is less shrew than misunderstood. It’s rather obvious her younger sister is her father’s favorite. It’s rather obvious he takes no interest in Katherine other than to wonder why she’s not more like her precious sister. Being big sister is not easy…especially when you have a parent that constantly pits you against each other.
That would make me bitchy too.
She’s also more savvy than most of the men in the story…that’s surely irritating! She has to be married off to one of these idiots? Again I say, that would make me bitchy too.
(disregarding all the ploys to get to Bianca)
Enter Petruchio.
He’s her match in every single way. And throughout all his “mistreatment” of her she never truly loses herself. She tricks him into believing he “tames” her.
The love and respect between Katherine and Petruchio is real.
And finally when they return to Padua for her sister’s wedding she can use her true voice and is respected for it. “Fie, fie! Unknit that threat’ning unkind brow. And dart not scornful glances from those eyes.”
It’s all a matter of how you’re perceived.

Colonel Brandon is so much more than he initially appears. He seems so quiet and not terribly interesting at first glance. But as we spend more time with him we learn that his integrity is the hallmark of his character. He has great capacity for love. He has great patience and his kindness is overwhelming. I love his friendship with the Dashwood ladies. Especially his love for Marianne. She learns to appreciate the strength and sincerity of his love.
When he and Elinor are discussing Marianne’s “immature” romantic notions and he disagrees with Elinor that Marianne should “wise up”, he says: “When the romantic refinements of a young mind are obliged to give way, how frequently are they succeeded by such opinions as are but too common and too dangerous!”
How precious is this man?

The Paper Bag Princess is a children’s book by Robert Munsch. A favorite of my girls when they were little, so much so that when invited to a come-as-your-favorite-princess birthday party Thing 1 went as this spunky princess.
Princess Elizabeth is set to marry a prince called Ronald, but a dragon comes and burns down her castle and kidnaps her betrothed. Does Elizabeth give up? Absolutely not! She dons a paper bag and sets out to save Ronald.
She’s a “can-do” kind of girl. She’s all about being the hero of her own story.
Girl Power!
Here’s a cute reading:

Kate Cummings is a girl growing up in Ohio during the depression. She is smart and spunky. Kate is brave and loyal. She has so much heart. This girl is passionate about everything she does from reading Sherlock Holmes to learning how to do the breast stroke. She loses her patience when tested, but never her kindness.
Kate and her friend Oscar spend their summer searching for the secret of the farm where she lives, the old Strawbridge Place. It’s rumored to have been somehow connected to the Underground Railroad. Their summer is an adventure which changes both their family’s lives.
I met the author when I was nine years old. She inscribed this book and it’s “sequel” to me. It’s in my top twenty favorite books of all time.
Kate is a hero but she’s also just a regular girl.
Kind of like:

Ron Weasley is best known as the redhaired sidekick of boy wonder, Harry Potter. Now I adore Harry, but Ron is my absolute favorite character from that series. Even more than Sirius Black, and I freaking LOVE him! Ron is stalwart and true. He is a fierce friend who would never betray the trust of his friends. He’s much brighter than he receives credit for…especially when Hermione is always flexing her brain.
Ron understands the importance of family, and this goes beyond the other Weasleys. He’s a pureblood without the bigotry that’s occasionally associated with being such.
Ron stood up to “notorious mass murderer Sirius Black” with a broken leg to protect Harry and Hermione. Ron wasn’t afraid to make sacrifices for the good of others, even at the age of eleven when he climbed on the horse on the giant chessboard.
I love Ron’s sense of humor. I love his loyalty. I love that he’s not starstruck by Harry, he just befriends him. He’s flawed, that’s for sure. He’s occasionally jealous of the attention Harry gets. He struggles with his personal insecurities but never waivers. Even when he leaves during the never ending camping trip, his loyalty never waivers.
Book Ron is better than movie Ron. Only because something was lost from page to screen.
Weasley is our King!

Who are some of your favorite literary characters?
Please share in the comments.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

falling in love with Richard Burton all over again

I’ve had the book since it was published but only just started reading The Richard Burton Diaries.
burty2

I have always loved him as an actor ever since I first heard my mother’s record of his Broadway production of Hamlet in 1964. His Petruchio amused me so. And when I saw Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf, I was literally speechless.
Now I’m beginning to fall in love with him as a writer.
He was a curious beast.
He wrote about what he saw and felt. He wrote about his desires. He was kind of gossipy and wasn’t shy about putting it to paper. He was proud of being Welsh. He had great disdain for acting. He was absolutely mad about Elizabeth Taylor.
He was a voracious reader and loved learning.
He drank way way way too much and knew it.

I love reading biographies. Especially when written by the individual. One of my favorites is Sylvia Plath’s journals. I also enjoyed the journals of Michael Palin, written during the Python years.
Kind of makes me want to journal in an entirely new way. Only I don’t write like that…if only.

Reading Richard Burton’s writings has opened my eyes to a time in history when certain people lived ridiculously privileged lives. I am loving learning about the inner thoughts of a man I’ve admired, honestly since I can remember.

I watched this wonderful documentary from BBC One Wales.
I hope you enjoy it.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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