Going over my medical history today at the doctor’s office.
Nurse: Have you had more than five sexual partners?
Nurse: How many?
(Uh…”more than five” isn’t good enough?)
This question struck me as odd. I was at the gynecologist, so not that odd…but why ask it that way? Why not ask ‘how many’ straight off?
Less than five is OK, but more than isn’t?
Is there a “right” number?
Mostly it got me thinking about my sexual life.
I’m a healthy, forty four year old woman and my number is ten.
Apparently ten is the perfect “Goldilocks” number, according to this article in The Telegraph. Is there an ‘ideal number’ of sexual partners to have?
So I guess, in the grand scheme of things, ten is not a “too small” number, neither is it a “too large” number.
In my scheme of things, it’s the perfect number.
I can name each person I’ve had sex with and only cringe at the memory of two of them. (Mistakes and bad choices happen…turns out a couple of times I didn’t make decisions with my brain.)
I can say I lost my virginity in my own bed one morning before school, to a boy I cared very much for.
I can say I took the virginity of the first boy I honestly loved.
I can say one of the ten is a girl with whom I spent eight spectacular months.
I can say one of the ten is the father of my children.
I can say one of the ten is, without a doubt, the unsurpassed giver of oral sex.
I can say one of the ten savagely broke my heart for sport.
I can say the last of the ten is my precious (and sexy as hell) husband.
You hear stories of, and see in television and movies, people comparing their lists of past lovers and it’s almost always a mess. Feelings are hurt. One partner’s list is longer than the other’s. There might be some objectionable things on the list.
I’m not shy about sharing my number. YBW has a bigger number than me. I don’t know the exact number, but I know it’s more. I’ve heard the stories of him going through girls in college.
I don’t care about any of that.
I don’t think a list should be made to share and compare if you’re in a relationship, unless of course, there’s a medical necessity. I kind of feel like the sharing of pasts (including sexual partners) comes about organically as you get to know each other.
Other questions the nurse asked seem more pertinent to my medical health.
How many pregnancies have you had? (Three.) How many live births? (Two.) How many living children? (Two.)
Any history of cancer in your immediate family? (Yes, my mother.)
Any history of alcohol or drug abuse in your immediate family? (Yes, my dad and brother.)
Any history of heart attack or stroke in your immediate family? (Yes to both, maternal grandfather.)
Do you have asthma? (Yep. I was diagnosed last year.)
Do you have high blood pressure? (Uh, no. You just took it two minutes ago and it was 118 over 84 and I remarked how that’s high for me.)
I don’t know. I guess going over my medical history, and especially my sexual history got me thinking.
The number of people with whom I’ve had sex is mine and I own it.
I’m just a girl who lived and loved and had sex and I’m comfortable with that.