Posts Tagged With: medical history

you got this

I got a call from Thing 1 this morning. She was on the way to the doctor. She asked my opinion regarding birth control. I haven’t concerned myself with birth control since my hysterectomy in 2004, so I didn’t feel as though I was going to be much help to her.
She is worried about how getting pregnant will impact her heart health and wants to make sure that doesn’t happen again any time soon.
She’s concerned about hormonal birth control, how it will affect her depression.
I’m concerned about how hormonal birth control will affect her milk production.
She asked what I thought about an IUD. I told her I know that my mom had one fifty years ago and loved it. I know friends who have them now and love them.

Part of me feels like I’m letting her down because I don’t have my finger on the pulse of this information.
I’m a forty-eight year old (menopausal) woman with no uterus. How could I possibly advise a twenty-five year old about safe and effective birth control?
I did tell her that if I was in her place, I would choose an IUD.
Why? My gut just knew.

I don’t know that she wanted well thought out, highly informed opinions or advice. I suspect she just wanted to touch base with her momma while she was considering her choices. Sometimes, you just want to talk to your mom. Sometimes talking to your mom brings you the comfort you crave, even when you’re not exactly sure you need it.

I’m so thankful I don’t have to worry about my reproductive health in the current climate.
I am concerned about the reproductive health of my daughters, and even my granddaughter.
Will they have access to everything they need?
I’m talking about proper medical care, appropriate testing, the ability to receive and fill necessary prescriptions.

I’m hopeful that whatever type of birth control Thing 1 chooses, she has appropriate access to it. That it works to keep her healthy while it helps ensure she doesn’t get pregnant. Not getting pregnant will keep her heart safer. Not getting pregnant will keep her heart healthier.
I want my girl to have a strong and healthy heart. I want Baby K to have a strong and healthy mommy.
I’m not sure what choice she will make, but I do know that I support her in her decision to maintain her health to the best of her ability.

Even if I didn’t have good advice for her this morning, I hope that our quick conversation gave her what she needed.
Sometimes all it takes is hearing your mom’s voice to know you can handle whatever is coming at you.
I see her building a life and family upon the foundation I built for her and I know she’s got this.
Perhaps she just needed to be reminded.

Categories: on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

my number is 10

Going over my medical history today at the doctor’s office.

Nurse: Have you had more than five sexual partners?
Me: Yes.
Nurse: How many?
(Uh…”more than five” isn’t good enough?)

Me: Ten.

This question struck me as odd. I was at the gynecologist, so not that odd…but why ask it that way? Why not ask ‘how many’ straight off?
Less than five is OK, but more than isn’t?
Is there a “right” number?

Mostly it got me thinking about my sexual life.
I’m a healthy, forty four year old woman and my number is ten.
Apparently ten is the perfect “Goldilocks” number, according to this article in The Telegraph. Is there an ‘ideal number’ of sexual partners to have?
So I guess, in the grand scheme of things, ten is not a “too small” number, neither is it a “too large” number.

In my scheme of things, it’s the perfect number.
I can name each person I’ve had sex with and only cringe at the memory of two of them. (Mistakes and bad choices happen…turns out a couple of times I didn’t make decisions with my brain.)

I can say I lost my virginity in my own bed one morning before school, to a boy I cared very much for.
I can say I took the virginity of the first boy I honestly loved.
I can say one of the ten is a girl with whom I spent eight spectacular months.
I can say one of the ten is the father of my children.
I can say one of the ten is, without a doubt, the unsurpassed giver of oral sex.
I can say one of the ten savagely broke my heart for sport.
I can say the last of the ten is my precious (and sexy as hell) husband.

You hear stories of, and see in television and movies, people comparing their lists of past lovers and it’s almost always a mess. Feelings are hurt. One partner’s list is longer than the other’s. There might be some objectionable things on the list.
I’m not shy about sharing my number. YBW has a bigger number than me. I don’t know the exact number, but I know it’s more. I’ve heard the stories of him going through girls in college.
I don’t care about any of that.

I don’t think a list should be made to share and compare if you’re in a relationship, unless of course, there’s a medical necessity. I kind of feel like the sharing of pasts (including sexual partners) comes about organically as you get to know each other.

Other questions the nurse asked seem more pertinent to my medical health.
How many pregnancies have you had? (Three.) How many live births? (Two.) How many living children? (Two.)
Any history of cancer in your immediate family? (Yes, my mother.)
Any history of alcohol or drug abuse in your immediate family? (Yes, my dad and brother.)
Any history of heart attack or stroke in your immediate family? (Yes to both, maternal grandfather.)
Do you have asthma? (Yep. I was diagnosed last year.)
Do you have high blood pressure? (Uh, no. You just took it two minutes ago and it was 118 over 84 and I remarked how that’s high for me.)

I don’t know. I guess going over my medical history, and especially my sexual history got me thinking.
The number of people with whom I’ve had sex is mine and I own it.
I’m just a girl who lived and loved and had sex and I’m comfortable with that.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

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