Posts Tagged With: sharing

the giving of thanks

I’m not the biggest fan of Thanksgiving…some people say that makes me un-American…I say whatever. I’m thankful every single day for what I have in my life, the people, the love, the joys, even the sadness…they’re mine, you know? And I’m grateful.
So that one day, that day of giving thanks, well I feel as though I’ve got that pretty much covered. To me Thanksgiving Day is simply an excuse for gluttony…and I don’t really eat all that much.

That said, I have to tell you I had the most wonderful holiday weekend! With YBW’s family on Thanksgiving Day, Sundance, Girlie Thing, and Boy Thing on Friday, and my cousin and her family today. Best of all, my own precious Thing 1 has been here with us and Thanksgiving is her absolute favorite holiday! (I suspect because of the gluttony.)
Thing 1 reverted to her goofy child-self around her cousins and Girlie Thing and Boy Thing, she and Boy Thing have always had a special relationship, and when they were together it’s as though not a moment has passed since they saw each other last. She was so smiley and kind of jumpy and very much like she was when she was a little blonde pigtailed girl. So precious to see!

She’s followed me around the house like she’s done since she began to walk…interestingly enough, it doesn’t annoy me, I’m so used to it even though we’ve not been in the same house for so long. She literally follows me everywhere I go, just far enough behind me that she’s not touching me but close enough that I can occasionally feel her breath in my hair. She has always done this, and it amuses me more than anything.
I’ve been so pleased to have my girl with me…she been here 12 days and just stared to annoy me…a reminder of how much better she and I get along when we’re in different places. I think the thing that annoys me about her is that she spends so much time talking about how she’s a “grown-up” but behaves like a little girl…I’m not sure what that means exactly, but I’m not ready for her to leave just yet and that makes me happy.

Sundance has decreed we three must go on a wedding dress hunt…that Sundance and I will eat peanut M&M’s al la Sally Albright while Thing 1 models wedding gowns. Honestly the very thought of this makes me queasy, but Thing 1 is nearly “pants peeing” excited about this little field trip. How can I say no? Perhaps this is…what? Shock therapy? (Whatever it is I vote for champagne and not M&M’s!) 

Thing 1 had her Christmas yesterday morning since she’ll be down with her fiancé’s family for Christmas…YBW was kind of tickled that she got so much My Little Pony stuff. (Yeah, my Things and I are Bronies…no shame in our game.) She got new sassy boots and some clothes, funky socks and an antique perfume bottle, and American Girl doll and pony things…she is that peculiar combination of little girl and woman.

Having my girl here in my new home with me has reinforced my gratitude and made me oh so happy!
I don’t need turkey and all the trimmings to celebrate my thanks…just folks to shower with love.

Categories: love, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

settling in

Well, I’ve been at home with YBW for nine days…in the first two days I landed a cold, he so kindly shared his germs with not only me, but his own two Things. My Thing 2 was miraculously untouched by these icky germs. (If you knew her and her immune system this would be ubershocking.) 

The fact we were all sick kind of put a damper on the fun we had planned before his two Things went back to their mom’s, and also cut into our special YBW, Robynbird, and Thing 2 time.
So the last nine days have been less productive (oh how this frustrates me) than hoped, also less “normal”. But we’re all finally beginning to feel human again…except Thing 2 finally succumbed to the icky germs yesterday. (DAMMIT!)

I finally began to open boxes of books and began to breathe. What is it that makes me feel so strongly about those books? I have no idea, but I can tell you how happy I was to unpack, stack and shelve them! Thing 2, with her uncanny timing, wandered in just in time to read about her boyfriend’s birthday in the Birthday book and their compatibility in the Relationship book.

a few stacks waiting to be shelved

a few stacks waiting to be shelved

a few yet to be unpacked

a few boxes yet to be unpacked

Thing 2 is "helping"

Thing 2 is “helping”

The bookshelf is no longer naked and my books can breathe again…
Recovering diningroom chairs and unpacking kitchen items are up next. The kitchen will be a curious event…

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

lunch at El Pobs

Went to lunch with my former husband today, it was fun and bittersweet all in one fell swoop.
We ate Mexican food (I drank a margarita) and talked about random day to day things…job stuff and practical stuff, but mostly we talked about Thing 1 and Thing 2 and what it’s like to be their parents. We discussed how it will be as we move forward and parent from two entirely different physical places. We discussed faults (without any real blame) for behaviors and actions specific to Thing 1, and he apologized. We talked about how it will be to trade Thing 2 back and forth over 500 miles and that it will most likely be a very good experience for her.

We’ve been lucky to remain close even though we’re no longer a couple, but I believe it’s because we were friends before we were a couple to begin with…and actually, we were more best friends who raised kids together than anything else and that’s just fine with me.
Now this is not to say we didn’t have bad times, because did we ever! And he is manipulative and passive aggressive and I am selfish, stubborn, and controlling…honestly I’m not sure how either one of us stood the other for as long as we did.
But the love is real and it won’t ever go away.

I’ve known him since I was seventeen years old, he knows all my history and I know all his. I’ve known him for over a quarter century, had his name for more than half my life. We have been through the good, the bad, the indifferent…it was hellish and it was lovely. I broke his heart when I chose to end our marriage, I’ll always be sorry for that but I will never be sorry for deciding to do what was best for both of us.

I’m glad he and I made those two Things. I’m glad I got to be a stay at home mommy for so long, to play and learn and love those awe inspiring girls. They are my babies, my heart, and I wouldn’t have them if it wasn’t for him.

I feel overjoyed knowing in four short days I’m going to be in my new life, with the man I love. I deserve every bit of the happiness I’m about to experience.
I wish the Things daddy his every heart’s happiness too, I hope he chooses to embrace it, whatever it may be.

Categories: divorce, love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

summer slam ’13 (a mixtape)

Oh how I love a good mix tape!
images
It sounds so lame…but it’s true.
I love to share music because it’s such a personal experience, the soundtrack of my life, it feels a real labor of love. What moves me when I hear a song, and why, and how, there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to what I like to put together, yet it always plays as though it was meant to be. It seems a bit like baking to me, you get all the right bits in there and put it in the oven and out pops something yummy.
I make an annual playlist, the _____ mix. The blank changes each year depending on my mood. Normally, I do it in the later part of fall or right after the holidays at the first of the year burn it to disc and send it out to friends near and far. I always include liner notes to sort of explain where I’m coming from or what I was feeling when I made the mix. This is my “sister” Sundance’s favorite part…she especially likes to read the whys.
I didn’t make one at that time this year because quite honestly, I wasn’t inspired in the least.
But recently I became inspired…so much so the normal 18 song disc became a playlist of 34 songs because I couldn’t eliminate a single one. So it hasn’t been burned to disc to share…it’s a playlist on my ipod set to shuffle and turned up to enjoy (as it turns out) mostly in the car.
There are some oldies, some newer things, some to crank up and roll down the windows and just go, and others to settle deep in your soul and keep you quiet for a little while. And quite possibly some have no place in the list with the others…only it sounds good when I play it, so I’m satisfied.
I’ve decided to share it with you…songs and artists (in no particular order) but not the liner notes…it would be too long to write and too long to read and we’d all lose interest and never enjoy the music. Where’s the fun in that?

I present to you: Summer Slam ’13!

Balance Beam ~ Blue October
Heart is a Beating Drum ~ The Kills
Bitch ~ Plastiscines
Delta Lady ~ Joe Cocker
This Charming Man ~ The Smiths
One Week of Danger ~ The Virgins
Hell ~ Squirrel Nut Zippers
The Magnificent Seven ~ The Clash
Something to Talk About ~ Badly Drawn Boy
Short Skirt Long Jacket ~ Cake
Bitch Went Nutz ~ Ben Folds
Put Your Records On ~ Corinne Bailey Rae
Golden Years ~ David Bowie
New Age Girl ~ Deadeye Dick
Coin-Operated Boy ~ The Dresden Dolls
Rio ~ Duran Duran
Heavy in Your Arms ~ Florence + The Machine
Blocking Brainwaves ~ Ghost of the Robot
Falling or Flying ~ Grace Potter & The Nocturnals
Black Gloves ~ Goose
Live & Let Die ~ Guns N’ Roses
Thing of Beauty ~ Hothouse Flowers
Crosstown Traffic ~ Jimi Hendrix
Sour Cherry ~ The Kills
Do You Wanna ~ The Kooks
Pioneers ~ The Lighthouse and The Whaler
A Little Bit Me, a Little Bit You ~ The Monkees
Little By Little ~ Oasis
Brass in Pocket ~ The Pretenders
I Guess You’re Right ~ The Posies
Little Sister ~ Robert Plant
California ~ Rufus Wainwright
31 Days ~ Zee Avi
Skyfall ~ Adele

Please listen responsibly.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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