lunch at El Pobs

Went to lunch with my former husband today, it was fun and bittersweet all in one fell swoop.
We ate Mexican food (I drank a margarita) and talked about random day to day things…job stuff and practical stuff, but mostly we talked about Thing 1 and Thing 2 and what it’s like to be their parents. We discussed how it will be as we move forward and parent from two entirely different physical places. We discussed faults (without any real blame) for behaviors and actions specific to Thing 1, and he apologized. We talked about how it will be to trade Thing 2 back and forth over 500 miles and that it will most likely be a very good experience for her.

We’ve been lucky to remain close even though we’re no longer a couple, but I believe it’s because we were friends before we were a couple to begin with…and actually, we were more best friends who raised kids together than anything else and that’s just fine with me.
Now this is not to say we didn’t have bad times, because did we ever! And he is manipulative and passive aggressive and I am selfish, stubborn, and controlling…honestly I’m not sure how either one of us stood the other for as long as we did.
But the love is real and it won’t ever go away.

I’ve known him since I was seventeen years old, he knows all my history and I know all his. I’ve known him for over a quarter century, had his name for more than half my life. We have been through the good, the bad, the indifferent…it was hellish and it was lovely. I broke his heart when I chose to end our marriage, I’ll always be sorry for that but I will never be sorry for deciding to do what was best for both of us.

I’m glad he and I made those two Things. I’m glad I got to be a stay at home mommy for so long, to play and learn and love those awe inspiring girls. They are my babies, my heart, and I wouldn’t have them if it wasn’t for him.

I feel overjoyed knowing in four short days I’m going to be in my new life, with the man I love. I deserve every bit of the happiness I’m about to experience.
I wish the Things daddy his every heart’s happiness too, I hope he chooses to embrace it, whatever it may be.

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Categories: divorce, love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

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11 thoughts on “lunch at El Pobs

  1. Although overall I am thankful that my ex is not in my life, I do miss the shared memories of the shared history. I’m glad for you and Thing 1 and 2 that you can be friends with your ex:)

    • I see friends and what they go through, the fighting and backstabbing, the manipulations and using the kids as pawns to “one up” the other, and I know truly I am blessed for the way we ended our lift together. I know it’s selfish, but I’m glad we found our way back to being friends.

      • Not selfish at all. I think it’s awesome:)

      • Funny… I just blogged about how awful some other break-ups are, and how glad I am that my ex and I keep the drama to a minimum. Then I wandered over to read a blog I follow, saw your comment, Robynbird, and wandered over here for the first time. I love what you’ve written!

      • Thanks so much! I’m pleased you enjoyed my words!

  2. You seem to be in a very happy place at the moment and are embracing both you past memories and future with open arms. Good for you and all the best.

  3. I’m glad that you two are on good terms. That always helps.

    PS: You’re my favorite comment today.

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