Is it weird to be sad about not getting something I didn’t really want in the first place?
I received a voicemail from the woman I interviewed with Monday before the wedding. She regretfully informed me that though I was more than qualified, they went with someone who could start sooner than I could.
It turns out that they wanted someone to start before I even left the country for my honeymoon.
I was completely upfront about my availability when she called to schedule the meeting. If they knew they needed someone to start when I couldn’t, why did they waste their time? Why did they waste my time? Why did my kid sit in a cold car for an hour instead of being warm and shopping with her mom?
I had actually gotten to the place where I didn’t think I was going to take the job, but that’s not the point. I wouldn’t even have had to consider it if they had been upfront with their needs.
I’m not sure why I’m irritated. I’m not sure why I’m a bit hurt. But I do know that my gut was right. This was not the position for me.
And a complete waste of my time!
So I continue to be a hausfrau for a while. I’ve cleaned like a mad woman today and it feels so good! Every bit of the laundry is clean and mostly put away. I’m finally getting the house back to normal after the chaos of all the kids here and leaving it a hot hot mess to go to Barbados. I’m getting back to normal in my sleep patterns and my writing. I (mostly) know who I am and what I want.
I’m going to the neurologist Thursday to have my brain checked.
I’m listening to Edith Piaf and drinking gatorade while I take a break to write this.
It’s a good day to be me.
You have a right to feel cheated and feel dismal about that for a little time.
I know you will get back on your bike soon but for now it is OK to soothe the grazed knee.