Today was the first day I felt ‘normal’ since the day my dad died. It was interesting to me, because YBW and I were sitting on the sofa and being goofy, kind of tickling and giggling and snuggling in front of the TV and in that moment I felt it. I felt ‘normal’…like myself. I was lying half across YBW I looked up and, a bit choked up, I said: I feel normal today, thank you.
I was asked how I was doing Wednesday by a friend who was over for dinner. I said: I’m so damn tired. I’ve been tired since the beginning of May. I don’t know if it is grief or depression or I’m just tired, but I’m sick half to death of it.
He understood. (He’s the dad of my little student who’s mother died in March.)
Today, I don’t feel tired. I feel like myself again.
I’m savvy enough to realize I’ll feel that particular kind of tired again, but I trust the ‘normal’ is here to stay.