this whiny crybaby needs a waaambulance

I have poison sumac…or ivy…or oak. (I’m almost sure it’s sumac.) I have it on both my arms, my right thigh, the lower part of my left leg, my belly and my face. I will no longer engage plant life…accursed bastards.
I am a miserable whiny crybaby and I’m not ashamed to show it. (show it, show it, show it)

I went to the doctor today because my arms are burning as though I’ve been doused with gasoline and I can’t even hug my little school friends for the pain. He gave me the GIANT prednisone pack, which I promptly brought home, showed to YBW and said, “Do you see this big ass bunch of steroids? I have to take this for the next twelve days, I might become unpleasant to be around.” He smiled. I immediately said, “And please don’t say something like ‘more so than usual?’ because I don’t think I can handle it right now.” And then I started to cry.
Sweet YBW hugged me and kissed the nonleperyish (It IS a word, dammit!) part of my forehead and was silent. All I could think was, ‘Thank you, my darling for being the perfect you in this moment.’

I wanted to crawl into my bed and watch Funny Face, Audrey would help me feel better…but I wrote a paper instead. Responsible Robynbird won that round…but now it’s been submitted and I’m going to get Audrey, Fred, and the sensational Kay Thompson and get in my bed…Bonjour Paris!

OH! And if it isn’t bad enough that I have freaky burning-pain useless arms I was peed on by one of my friends today…when I say he peed on me, I don’t mean a dribble I mean I was soaked from my right breast all the way down to my hip.
I did not cry. But I wanted to.

Think pink when you shop for summer clothes…On how to be lovely…I love your funny face, your sunny funny face…s’wonderful, s’marvelous that you should care for me…Clap yo’ hands slap yo’ thigh…He loves and she loves…

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