Teenagers! Dey tink dey know everyting…you geeve dem an eench dey sweem all over you.
How right you are Sebastian.
Thing 2 is being a complete and total “B” today! Like, I want to slap that smirk right off her face kind of “B”!
(Y’all need to know I’m not a face slapper.)
We went out (at her request!!) to purchase a swimsuit because she doesn’t have one here, and do a little shoe shopping…we got as far as finding two swimsuit pieces in her size before she just…quit.
Me: You OK baby?
Thing 2: I don’t feel good.
Me: Do you still want to do Plato’s and DSW?
Thing 2: I don’t know.
Me: Well, we did come all this way…
Thing 2: MOM! I do NOT feel good! When you didn’t feel well last week I didn’t pester you!
Me: OK then.
We stop for burgers at Five Guys…Thing 2 is very busy texting (I never mind this because she doesn’t normally do it in a way I deem inappropriate) and can’t be bothered to order her burger.
(This is the first time I want to slap her.)
We’re eating…she looks EVERYWHERE but at me. I ask a question or make a random statement met with cricket chirping.
Me: I am very sorry you’re not feeling well, but you asked me to get you out of the house, so here we are.
Thing 2: Ugh, well SORRRRRY! I got worn out. Why is it you can’t respect me?
(This the second time I want to slap her.)
Me: I will happily respect you if you stop being such a little bitch.
Silence in the car on the way home.
(Rooney is playing so I’m fairly content)
Mailman in the front of the neighborhood when we turn in. (She is expecting a package from her boyfriend.)
Me: Mailman!
Thing 2: Yeah but now I’ll have to wait.
(Fighting urge to pull car over and slap then kick her to the curb.)
Me: Not too much longer, bout 6-8 minutes.
No response.
I’m switching laundry and I hear her door open and her RUNNING down the stairs then the front door open and slam shut and her running back up the stairs into her room and shutting the door.
After a few minutes I go up and knock on the door: Did your package come?
Thing 2: Yes.
Me: Did you get the rest of the mail or…?
Thing 2: It was at the front door, I didn’t go to the mailbox.
I go out to the box…get something that makes me need to call the Things daddy super quick, then I open my computer to start a new chapter in my econ studies when I hear Thing 2’s feet sheepishly on the stairs. (Yes I can “hear” sheepish footsteps.)
I look up and Thing 2 has her bf’s hoodie in her hands.
Thing 2: Mommy I can’t get the zipper back on.
Me: You already broke D’s jacket?
Thing 2: NO! (But there might be tears in her eyes.) Maybe!
I put my hands out and ask if she needs help.
Eyes cast down, she responds with a quiet: yesh please.
I quickly examine the zipper, see the place where a couple of teeth are missing, put the zipper pull back on and hand it back to her.
Thing 2: WHAT!?! You fixed it that fast? I’m missing all the good skills in our family!
She looks at the jacket and then looks quickly back up: thank you.
I took her by the arms and said: first of all, you’re welcome.
Thing 2: But I said thank you!!
Me: Secondly, you have plenty of skills. You just don’t have a lifetime of random and mommy skills under your belt.
Thing 2: Guess I can’t adopt Thing 1’s kid (Which she DOES NOT have!!) and be it’s mommy.
Me: No, you still need to grow up a bit more I think.
Thing 2: I didn’t want to come ask you for help. I thought, you were such an ass and now you want her to help you?
Me: I will always help you.
Thing 2: Thanks Mommy.
Then there was a kiss and she was off again…her feet lighter this time.
I love being a mommy more than anything in the world…I even love that my girls can be a bitch to me and know it will be OK when we can discuss it later on. It is about respect…respecting each other as individuals, meeting each other where we are, and knowing we all have crap days and try as me might, we sometimes take it out on each other. I like apologies when they’re appropriate and heartfelt.
Best part of all?
I no longer want to slap her.
Yay me!
therobynbirdsnest 