life’s great big canvas

Life is a great big canvas, throw all the paint you can at it. ~ Danny Kaye

I find this concept fascinating.
It makes absolute sense, if you consider your life a blank canvas and paint it as you go along.
Think about the people you know. The people you love. How do they paint their canvases?

Little children fling paint like mad. Some of it may not even hit the canvas. It may be a hot mess, but still beautiful to behold.

I can think of some who plan out their art with laser sharp precision. I may be stylistically stunning, but what does it make you feel when you look at it? What do they feel when they look at it?

(I’m not saying we should paint our life canvases for other people’s eyes, but if this is the concept with which we’re going, we’re going to see other canvases just as others will see the canvas each of us paints.)

What about those who paint their canvas with precious little color? Surely there are those who throw only black or gray at the canvas of life.
(I can’t help feeling that is sad. But it’s not my canvas, perhaps it’s the most beautiful painting ever created even if it’s devoid of color.)

Some folks are abstract, right? The canvas doesn’t reveal an image necessarily, but you see the passion with with the paint was thrown.

There are those who continually reinvent themselves. Does that mean there are countless “overpaints”?

How about the canvases that are completely covered? With paint thrown so that it rises off the canvas. Is this evidence of a life well lived? Or is it an example of absolute chaos?

If I examine my own life canvas I can “see” a great deal of purple at the beginning of my painting. It was my favorite color when I was a little girl. It’s slapped on there without rhyme or reason.
Then there are loads of rainbows. I’ve loved rainbows ever since I can remember.
After this I see evidence of outside influences. Having to conform. At school. At home. It looks more like coloring inside the lines than throwing paint as expression of self. I’m actually quite good at coloring inside the lines. Though it wouldn’t be my first choice, especially then.
There is a great deal of red after that. Dark heart’s blood red in great splashes. It’s from a time in my life that was filled with pain and anger.
I see brightness of color in great big splotches. (Not quite polka dots, but close.) It’s more tactile, I can see how I painted with my fingers. It is filled with joy and wild abandon, and more love than has ever been present on my canvas of life. This portion of the painting is enormous.
But following that comes nothing but gray. It’s the kind of gray that feels like a prison. What’s interesting is that within this gray are little flashes of light and color. They are fleeting. The gray permeates the canvas.
A great black slash follows.
And I begin to see timid strokes of color that grow into broad bursts of color. So much pink. And green. I see abstract rainbow colors together. But not a traditional rainbow. Yellow comes to play. Also light blue.

I expect to have many more years to throw paint at my life canvas.
I don’t know if we realize how important it is that we consider life this way. To chuck paint blindly. To make meaningful symbols. To embrace life so fully that no matter how the paint is applied the canvas is the most creative and beautiful work of art.

Danny Kaye knew what was up. Throw as much paint as you can at the canvas of your life! Make it the most wonderful visual example of who you are.
If you’re lucky, you’ll have people in your life who will invite you to throw some paint at their canvas and ask permission to do the same with yours.
Remember this: Some people will think it’s beautiful and some will criticize it. Disregard that and ask yourself if you think it’s beautiful. It’s your canvas. It represents your life. If you find it beautiful, isn’t that all that matters?

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may the force (of Christmas) be with you

YBW and little D’s daddy, S went to see Star Wars this morning. They’re like kids in a candy store. I think if they weren’t “grown up men” they would have been clapping and squealing like ballet going little girls. Apparently they’ve got more self control than others of us.
I can’t wait to hear all about it when he gets home! I love to see him be happy and excited about the things he loves!

Speaking of (lack of) self control, Thing 2 will already be on the plane this time tomorrow! (I may have clapped and squealed.)
She just sent this to me in a text: SO excited to be with all of you! And the ballet and the nativities :3 ah! I can’t wait, Chriiiistmaaaas! (Sing-songy at the end there)
Oh, little girl, I could hear your sing-song voice as I read the words!

Exciting things all around this weekend!

I’ve got Christmas music playing, right now it’s James Brown’s Funky Christmas. James Brown singing The Christmas Song. I can’t even!
I feel like Thing 2. Terribly excited to be with my whole family. Ready to dance with the sugar plum fairies. All the baby Jesuses waiting for us at the Cathedral!

Oh how I love Christmas!
It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

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I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes…

So it turns out there are a metric ton of haters out there regarding Love Actually. I find this most amusing.
Personally, I like this movie. But I like it for the quotable one liners and the Christmas-y-ness of it, not for it’s eternal epic film quality.
No shame in my Love Actually enjoyment game.
Thing 2 and I watch it at random throughout the year, but always together at Christmastime.

This is her favorite part:
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I probably shouldn’t find it so amusing that my child loves the rampant cursing…but I do.

This is my favorite part:

Now, I’m not saying there are some things about this movie that are absolute crap.
For instance:
Karl and Laura Linney’s inability to sort out having a mentally ill sibling and getting it on. If they truly cared about each other, the could have sorted it.
Perhaps it’s because he’s prettier than anyone else in the movie?
This storyline feels superfluous to me.

That whore that works for Alan Rickman. She needs to go die in a hole. He’s married to a frumped-up version of Emma Thompson, who BTW, rocks out loud with a fiery vengeance, frumpy or not. Get it together, dude! P.S. What the flying hell kind of dolls do they have in England? “…the one that looks like a transvestite, or the one that looks like a dominatrix?” I’ll just keep my 1970s ‘Malibu Barbie’, thanks.

Talk about superfluous…the entire Colin character’s story line. “And he’s got a big knob” (you know you heard it in his voice) might be the stupidest thing in the history of film…that or I need to visit Wisconsin as a different me.

Keira Knightley does that jacked up thing with her mouth and needs to eat a thousand cheeseburgers.
AND Chiwetel Ejiofor, I just gotta say: Nobody is that oblivious. Your best effing friend has it on for your wife. Pay attention!

Hugh Grant, I think it might be sexist and pretty darn illegal to “fire” an employee because you’ve got the hots for her…but maybe that’s just in America?

I adore Colin Firth. I don’t have many bad things to say about him…and I actually adore the scene after the swim to save his book when they’re saying the same things and not understanding each other. But is he REALLY going to learn Portuguese to marry that girl? I do love when the children say, “I hate Uncle Jaime!” I say it often at random intervals…I have no uncles and don’t know anyone called Jaime…I just love the way it sounds.

The relationship between Liam Neeson and that kid who does the voice of Ferb might be my favorite. Doesn’t that kid have a biological dad? Doesn’t matter. They’re solving problems with love and fun. What parent says to a child: We need Kate and we need Leo and we need them now.? Then his encouragement of chasing down the little girl.

“Lets go get the shit kicked out of us by love.” just might be my favorite line of the entire film. (But Hugh Grant looking at the portrait of Margaret Thatcher and calling her ‘saucy minx’ is a close second.)

The most normal relationship is that of Martin Freeman and ‘Judy’. They might be naked, but they manage to develop a pretty successful friendship that becomes something more.

Sure, the movie is flawed.
But so are we and so is love.
Haters gonna hate.
But I’m going to watch it whenever it pleases me. And I’ll be watching it when Thing 2 get here.
If you haven’t seen it, I think you should. If you have and like it, I’m “air high-fiving” you. If you hate it…well, that’s your prerogative.

And finally, I must admit I love Bill Nighy’s “festering turd” of a record.

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Santa Claus is Back in Town

My very favorite version of this holiday tune is by Brian Setzer. (My apologies, Mr. Presley.)
I was trying to find it to share when I came upon this!
I did not know this existed!

I absolutely adore Robert Plant!
Percy sings Christmas! How have I never known this?
Happy (early) Christmas, y’all!

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making a list and checking it twice

I’ve been so busy making lists and checking them twice, I just realized I haven’t started a countdown to everything I’m excited about in the next two weeks!
Thing 2 will be here in four days! We’ll be at the ballet in six. Thing 1 and fiance N will be here the very next day.
Okey doke, countdown checked off my list.

I talked with Thing 2 today and we’re all about getting dressed up all fancy to go to the ballet. Even though we’ve seen the Nutcracker several times, we’re both positively giddy! There will be so much squealing and clapping. We’re just little girls at heart.

YBW had the idea that we should do our annual trip to see the nativities at the Cathedral on Christmas Eve. I can hardly wait to see all the baby Jesuses!
Both the girls are excited to go and you know I’m thrilled! It’s my favorite Christmas outing and this year, my camera’s stupid SD card won’t be wonky so I won’t lose all my photos!

The boys come home from their mom’s after church Christmas Eve, then we’ll do Christmas Eve pressies. They know they’ll find jammies and a book under the tree, but love the tradition. I’m so pleased I’ve been able to introduce this special tradition to YBW and the boys. Thing G absolutely adores his jammies.

All the gift shopping is finished. I’ve wrapped everything and sorted out all the stocking “stuffers” into individual bags for ease of filling on Christmas Eve.
The majority of Christmas dinner has been ordered from Wegmans with a few special dishes to be made here at home. Thing 1 loves to cook, so I’m counting on her to be my sous chef. Actually, I’d rather be her sous chef…but we’ll see how it goes. Thing 2 is developing her cooking skills so we’ll call her to action too. Thing C is great at getting everything set up, so I’ll be relying on him for that.
With YBW’s mom, and brother and his family, we’ll be eleven for Christmas dinner. There’s a part of me that balks at the concept, but what the hell? The more the merrier!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
My joy is simply unquantifiable!

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a boozy debate

So Thing C and I are playing a drinking game while watching the Republican debate.

Thing C is drinking Angry Orchard Cider.
ANGRY.ORCHARD

I’m drinking Leinenkugel Cranberry Ginger Shandy.
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We drink each time one of the candidates says something stupid.
Oh…tomorrow is going to SUCK!

We finally had to turn it off…we simply cannot listen any longer.
Because we don’t discriminate, we’ll be playing the same game with the Dems, too.

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paint and a bit of roughhousing

I babysat this afternoon for a friend and neighbor. A five year old (didn’t make the kindergarten cut off) girl and her two and a half year old little brother. Normally when I babysit for this family, it’s in the evening when the little dude is already sleeping and his big sister and I play for a bit before her bedtime. But today it was full on fun!
Big sis, M, and I took advantage of our unseasonably warm weather and took paints and paper onto the table on the back porch.
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This is my favorite of M’s paintings. First, she painted her mom, “Miss Robynbird, what color pants was Mommy wearing?” (She was wearing jeans.) Then she added herself with a “tropical bird” on her shoulder.
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My painting is more self-explanatory.
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I absolutely adore my tree, but the pressies…meh. I’m not an artist like that, but I love to play with color.

Little brother, B woke up and we had a snack. Then we played. It’s been a loooooooong time since I rolled around on the floor “roughhousing” with small children. When B accidentally head butted me we changed the nature of our play. My head is hurting a little this evening, but it was worth it. I miss spending my days with small people.

Then I came home and the boys and I had breakfast for dinner!
It was a pretty great Robynbird day.

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early morning trains

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This is what we do at my house before 6:30 on a Saturday morning. It’s been fourteen years since I had a four year old in my home.
I forgot how early they wake up!

My sweetie, little D needed someone to look after him while his daddy went to a holiday party last night. So I picked him up at school yesterday (after spending an hour visiting former colleagues and students) brought him home where he and Thing G and I watched all the ponies episodes off the DVR then when Thing C came home we ate little D’s favorite dinner: “Apoachlay” (that would be Chipotle to you and me). We played a little while then he went to bed.
Sweet dreams, little D.

This morning at 5:30 my bedroom door opens and little D comes across the room he says: Hi Robynbird! Hi YBW!
Then he climbs in bed for a snuggle and the first thing he says is: You hot Robynbird. (My skin was warm from being under the blankies and his feet were COLD!) He accidentally kicked the blankets on the other side of him and said: Oh! I sorry, YBW.
I told him YBW wasn’t in bed, he was downstairs on his computer.
He said: We go see him.
I said: Not yet, let’s snuggle for a minute.
A minute was not a lie…we were up and he was raring to go. (But he had to be quiet because Thing C and Thing G were still sleeping.)

So trains it was.
YBW and I built the track and little D drove the train all around.
Then he ate two huge bowls of cereal then got dressed. It wasn’t much longer before he got picked up to go to swim lessons.
Did I go back to bed?
Nope.
Why not? You ask.
Because I’m an idiot.

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Dude, I got mad skills.

Thing 1 sent me a message yesterday in the late afternoon: So, I totally didn’t inherit your wrapping ability.

This made me giggle.
It’s true that I have exceptional gift wrapping abilities.
mad-skills

I suggested it was because she didn’t have as many years of practice as I have.
She has fine motor dyspraxia. A condition that has plagued her all her life. I reminded her of this, and assured her that it’s not an excuse, but it can certainly contribute to having trouble.

She told me that she would wrap a gift beautifully and feel like she’s getting the hang of it, but then the next one would look as though a two year old wrapped it.

I think she needs practice. I offered to help her.
To which she replied the most Thing 1 thing: You must verse me in the ways of the present wrapping, oh mighty queen of the world.

Then she sent me a photo.
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I think they look pretty decent. No, they’re not up to my wrapping standards…but that doesn’t make a bit of difference. I absolutely love that Tiffany blue paper with the white swirls!

I feel the same way about wrapping gifts that I feel about folding laundry. I love it! Everything about it. The orderly-ness of folding and stacking. Getting the seams folded just right and taped up. Then bows and ribbons to make it froufy.
I’m thrilled to help her learn to make fancy pressies! Moms should always attempt to pass their skills along.
I don’t know that I’m especially good at it for any reason other than my love of the process.

Here’s a sample from under our tree.
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Does practice make perfect? Not always, there are times when I see a gift I wrapped and cringe. Then there are times when I’d like to start a museum for beautifully wrapped gifts.
I’m not sure it matters who wraps the prettiest gifts.
I don’t think N cares that Thing 1 may have wrapped his gifts a little wonkily.
I don’t think anybody I gift cares how much work I put into making their packages pretty.
I encourage the ripping of paper as gifts are being opened.
It all ends up going out with the recycling in the end.

And here’s a truth, that girl can out bake me eight times out of ten. Perhaps we’re just skilled at what we’re skilled at? Or are we simply better at doing the things we love?
Doesn’t matter.
I’ll wrap.
She can bake.
And that way, everybody ends up happy.

Categories: me, on being a mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Christmas is about hope.

I found a new charm for my bracelet.
After I wrote the santa baby post, I went to Tiffany’s website to see if there were any cute charms for my bracelet.
Well it turns out there are many, but this is the one I want most of all!
christmas-tree-charm-33874413_938839_ED

Of course it’s too late to ask for it because all the shopping is finished and mostly wrapped and under the tree.
I have no expectations at finding this in my home on Christmas morning.
I just like to look at it and smile.
It’s a pretty little bauble that makes me happy to look at.

When we were little, Grandaddy used to say to us: You’re old enough for your wants not to hurt you.
He had a point.
I absolutely adore this charm.
It would be lovely on my bracelet.
Do I want it? Probably.
Do I need it? No.
Can I live without it? Absolutely.

Christmas is about hope.
The hope a baby brought to this world.
When I think of it that way, hoping to have this charm on my bracelet one day seems trivial and selfish.
Hope is lovely, isn’t it?

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