each story is different

Thing 2’s restaurant closed and she’s without income.
She saved money, but during this time of no income, she’s had to dip into her savings. She needed groceries and vodka, she ordered some carry out, she bought loo paper and deodorant. You know, things we all need.

Before the world went sideways, she and two friends began looking at houses for rent planning to move in June.
Of course being out of work means no money coming in, and dipping into her savings means there’s less savings for deposits and pet fees and the like.

She was having trouble with the unemployment website and expressed her concerns. She had exhausted all her options and no matter how many times she tried, she got stopped at a certain point in the process. The error message was that her social security number was invalid. She said to me, “I don’t exist.”
Saturday afternoon, YBW and I did a bit of research and got on the phone with her. Together, the three of us were able to figure out how to get past that point. Turns out it had nothing to do with her ssn and everything to do with the reason for seeking unemployment benefits. Once she got past that hurdle, everything seemed OK.
Now she waits.
She’s applying for jobs.
Literally all the jobs. From grocery store cashier to the person who assembles the device that lowers coffins into graves.

YBW and I have each said however much it sucks, we’re so pleased she lives at her dad’s and doesn’t have to worry about paying to live with no income.
She appreciates having a roof over her head that she’s not financially responsible for. She understand some people aren’t as fortunate as she is.
I don’t write this as a comparison to another’s experience, I’m simply telling her story.

As much as Thing 2 desires and honestly needs to get out of her father’s house, the timing couldn’t be worse.
Her friends with whom she’s moving are both still working. Still earning money, still padding their savings.
Thing 2 said she doesn’t want to ‘get left behind’. She wants to figure a way to make this work.
I offered to help her financially, emotionally, etc.
I know I can only help her so much. I know she has to do things for herself.

It’s hard to watch her work so hard and be thwarted by circumstances beyond her control.
She’s talking about school. More seriously than she ever has before.
She wants to study funeral services. This is something she’s been talking about rather seriously for about two years.
She and I did some research and traded links in emails all afternoon Saturday.
She has anxiety about the financial aspect of going to school.
I can’t alleviate all that anxiety, but I can help.

She finally decided to get her mental and physical health in order. She finally decided to get her living arrangements in order. She’s doing some seriously hard work.
Sometimes hard work looks like one step forward, two steps back.
This looks a bit more like one step forward, five steps back.
She’s looking for work.
She’s applied for unemployment.
She’s hopeful money from the government will help.

We were talking about the differences between what’s going on here and what’s going on in Canada and I said I read that the checks from the US government are essentially tax credits meant to offset 2020 federal income taxes.

Sunday morning she sent this in the group chat.

You can see that Thing 1 has some pretty strong opinions about this.

The Things and I talked about how things work in our country. We talked about each other. We talked about the state of the world.

It seems to me we’re all so good at seeing things from our own point of view, especially now when we’re staying put more than ever before. But I find it helpful to experience things from other points of view. I like understanding what other people think and feel. Asking questions, getting answers, learning opinions.
I know so many of us are blogging about it.
I asked and received Thing 2’s consent to write about this.

Every story is different.
We each go through this in our own way.
Sharing our experiences helps everyone.
This is our life.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

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7 thoughts on “each story is different

  1. Great post. And you know I agree….ask questions. Listen. Think. Listen to me, because I know everything….πŸ˜‰

  2. See? You’re a great mom. We can’t keep expecting ‘free’ money because it’s got to come from somewhere. πŸ™‚

    • Wow! Thank you! ❀
      She's lived through enough good and bad to understand nothing in life is free, but she's hopeful enough to understand that help might look different than expected.

  3. I respect your daughter that she wants to be independent and that you are there to support her as she works toward that goal. I don’t understand the group chat comment, I interpreted it that she was unhappy with Canadian government response and she thought the USA response was better. Maybe I haven’t reviewed it fully but I thought the Canadian response was pretty good especially looking at the scale involved. I don’t think I understand the US tax return enough but I interpreted it as a deduction from a future refund? I am getting off topic but I think every story is different but there are a lot of similarities regardless of the border. In my household I have two people out of work because of isolation reasons and businesses that can’t operate right now.

    • You’re right about the US money/tax return situation.
      She was asking me to clarify if that was what I meant when I told her about the US response. We had also discussed what’s going on in Canada. She’s actually a big fan of Canada. My older daughter was much more succinct in her response to the difference between the two.
      Schools are closed in VA until school starts again in August (hopefully) so I’m out of work too. And because I’m a substitute teacher, I’m not getting paid the way full time teachers are. Fortunately, (or not) my husband is considered essential so he’s working part time yet earning his full salary.
      I hope you and your family are well and stay safe! ❀

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