You know what I get sick of?
And I’m talking some serious next-level-seventh-grade drama. Only the participants are not really seventh graders, but adults.
I’m not going to get into specific details, but I’ll say that someone I dearly love is being treated to a ‘mean girl’ extravaganza. She cut the perpetrators from her life, so then they began to work on her college age daughter. She can’t stop that without tipping her hand. The daughter must learn for herself what is going on.
You know how kids are, you can’t tell them anything. They have to experience everything for themselves. Sitting back and waiting for the other shoe to drop is particularly painful for the mother of this young woman.
We’ve all been there. Caught up in chaos. Some of it our own making, some of it we’re simply chaos-adjacent. A mother’s instinct it to protect her young. But there comes a time when the young must learn lessons not taught by their mother.
That’s downright painful.
The mother can fret and get all spun up or she can close her eyes and wait for it to be over.
I know of what I speak.
I’ve done both with both my girls and I promise you both suck.
Staying back, whether it’s with eyes closed or completely spun up, is the only way to get through it. When the child comes out the other side, she experienced something she couldn’t be protected from…but she learned an invaluable life lesson.
I’m one of those strange women that doesn’t actually like drama. I have little patience and can’t abide something outside of my control to have that much impact in my life. Chaos-adjacent is bad enough.
I know people who thrive on the drama. Love to swim round in it until their fingers are all pruney. That is not the life for me. I don’t need that kind of attention. I don’t need that kind of adventure. I don’t understand that desire for constant chaos.
Do we sometimes make bad choices in who we choose to let into our world? Sure. Should we blame ourselves to the point of complete loss of power? Nope.
My beloved person living in this chaos said to me:
I can’t believe I let someone in my circle that easily, what the f**k is wrong with me. I made a stupid mistake and now my people are paying for it.
This is not entirely your fault. You must stop blaming yourself. The only choice you have it to accept the way it is. I know it’s easy for me to say that. But if you let every little thing get to you, you’re going to lose your mind. You can’t lose your mind because then the 7th graders win! You’re stronger than drama! You know who you are. Dig deep and find that nugget and use it to your advantage.
We all have that nugget of power deep within us. Sometimes the way to wield that power is to do nothing at all. That’s the hardest action…non-action. Sitting and waiting for the inevitable to play out. Knowing someone you love will get hurt.
Life lessons can be harsh, but we all need to learn them.
There’s one more thing…it’s called karma. And that bitch doesn’t mess about. If you’ve got it coming to you, eventually it will catch up with you. The trick is to be aware. You may not be on hand to witness karma serve a comeuppance, just trust that it will happen.
What kind of person do you want to be?