customer (not)-service

Thing 2 asked for only one thing for Christmas.
She wants an Eeyore beanie from Love Your Melon.
They went on sale 11.24 at 11 am.
I bought one immediately.

The LYM package arrived Monday.
I was so excited!
Huzzah! Christmas for my baby girl!

And then…

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?!
You’ll notice this is a pink Piglet beanie. Not only that, it’s a baby size beanie. Too small even for the toddler head of Baby K.
You’ll also notice the invoice and item don’t match.
Somewhere there is someone who ordered their baby an adorable beanie but ended up with Thing 2’s Eeyore beanie. They must be just as disappointed and frustrated as I am!

Much to my dismay there is no phone number for me to call. That means I’ve been emailing LYM customer service for several days.
It’s all: here’s how to return the beanie by clicking this link.
Um…K…so when I click the link it wants me to enter my order number. You know, the order number that matches what I ordered, not what I received.
Still no straight answer about where my beanies are and how to send back the one I received. Not to mention that the customer service reps who email me are more concerned with me returning the misshipped (is that even a word?) beanie than assisting me in getting the beanies I ordered.

The fucking Eeyore beanie is now out of stock so I can’t even order another one while I wait for this mess to get sorted.
I know my daughter is a twenty three year old adult and understands when things go awry. But sweet baby Jesus, she only asked for one specific thing!
And because someone made a mistake in packing an envelope, she may not be able to get it.

You know, I’m not “a Karen” by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m nearly ready to rip off somebody’s head.
I’m fired up about this and won’t let it die until I have Thing 2’s beanie in my hand.

Customer service exists to assist the customer.
I did everything required of me but because of their mistake, I don’t have what I paid for. And I’m not receiving any real help in solving the problem.
These mfs need to get it together!
I just want my baby to have her fucking beanie!

Late last night I finally got an email. It seems a customer service person called Savanna actually listened to my problem and responded accordingly.
Of course this is what she said:

Thanks for letting us know! I sincerely apologize you received the incorrect beanie. Feel free to keep the beanie that was sent to you and place another order with the code I’ve provided. Your store credit is detailed below. Please use this code at checkout on a future order with us. This code can only be used once but does not expire.

I don’t want the fucking baby beanie! I want the one I ordered for Thing 2!
The Eeyore beanie is still sold out…I clicked the ’email when available’ button and have my fingers crossed I may be able to purchase another between now and Christmas.

None of this even touches on the second beanie that went missing. Still no credit for that one.
And based on this email, someone has Thing 2’s Eeyore beanie AND Thing 1’s double pom beanie and they’ve been told “feel free to keep” them.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

I’ve sussed out the kids beanie is one and one half inches smaller in height and width than the adult beanie. I’m waiting for a text back from Thing 2 to find out how her other LYM beanies fit to see if this will do in the meantime…