things are just things

Y’all know Thing 1 and her family will be living in our house for a few months starting some time in July.
Y’all know YBW and I are eager to purchase and move into that townhouse.
The first of these will cause a change in the way we live in this house.
The second how we live in our new house.

This got me thinking about how I currently live in this house, how I want to live my remaining time in this house, and how I want to live in the new house.
Not how YBW and I live together. Those things must be decided by us as a unit.
I’m thinking how I want to live and what that means for me as a member of our household.

This thought process has been somewhat active as we begin to make preparations, but hatched into actual thoughts when I sent a photo to Thing 1 and Thing 2 asking if either of them had any interest in this item.

The story is my great aunt made this lamp for me. I don’t know when, but I do know I can’t remember a time when it wasn’t in my bedroom.
This Raggedy Ann lamp is a part of my life for as long as I can remember, but I don’t have any strong feels about it.
Thing 1 remarked that it’s one of those things that just stuck around.
The more I considered this, the more I realized that’s not a mindful way to live. At least I feel that way now about how I want to live.
Of late, I’ve worried that it may seem as though, and sometimes even feels like I’m just purging to purge, but I’m actually being super mindful about the way I want to live.
And what I surround myself with.
And what I leave behind needs to be the truest representation of the me I am (was?), and be simple for my daughters to handle.

I have this feeling it’s like shedding skin…
Or some sort of evolutionary process…
Leaving behind who you were in a mindful and respectful way and making room to become the next version of you…?

This is the last year of my forties, a natural phase of evolution as we get ready for a decade change. As I look at my life, I see how much my surroundings impact the way I live. By going through my things in a respectfully mindful way, I can prepare and environment that will meet my needs. Living my intention. Thriving in an environment that gives me everything I need with the bonus of things that foster learning and creativity. An environment in which I have enough room and the proper tools to grow into the next version of me.

Even though this lamp has been in my life as long as I can remember I don’t have any real feels about it.
Lack of feels is a strong indication that I don’t need it in my life which obviously means there’s no place for it in my house.
Purging to purge isn’t always healthy.
But being mindful about how I curate my environment is incredibly healthy.

My mom was not full blown horder, but she was sure as hell a packrat. What I’ve learned about her since she’s been gone is that she saved things to fill emotional emptiness. By simply having these things she could feel the feels she didn’t have inside her.
She saved things that meant something because of the feels they evoked in her. Feels she couldn’t experience any other way.
My ex husband is exactly the same.
There is something about possessing particular items that provides some sort of emotion they otherwise lack (lacked). I truly believe it reinforces their stunted emotional growth. Then the weight of the things traps (trapped) them, so there’s no room to learn, or create, or grow.

I understand having great big feels about certain items. For me, a specific example of this is my Grandaddy’s wallet. It is of absolutely no use to me, but the feelings that bubble up in me when I hold it make it worth keeping.
But that is one particular item that is in a special place in my bookshelf that I can go to when I want to feel the intensity of those feels.
It doesn’t impact the way I live. It doesn’t block creativity or inhibit learning. It doesn’t waste space. It doesn’t keep me from growing as a human.
And I know as I write this that there will come a point in time I’ll be willing to let it go. Today is not that time.

I can’t be trapped by possessions. I need freedom to move. If I can’t move, I can’t grow.
I need to grow!
I want to evolve in my relationships with my friends.
I want to evolve in my relationships with my daughters.
I want to evolve with my granddaughter as she builds relationships.
I want to evolve in my relationship with my precious husband.

Things are just things.
At this stage of my life, my main focus is to curate my surroundings in a way that helps me thrive. Living my intention, learning and creating, and growing into the next version of me gives me all the feels.

Categories: me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

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15 thoughts on “things are just things

  1. You totally nailed it…purging should be mindful…which things matter to you in that they make you feel good (Marie Kondo knows of which she speaks) when I posted my shelves last week it reminded me of why I kept certain things…and why I’ve displayed them…which things matter…good post…

    • Thanks! ❤
      I think I'm more of a Swedish Death Cleaning type of girl, but the sparking of joy truly speaks to me.
      I'm looking at my surroundings with a critical eye but a kind heart, and making choices accordingly.

  2. Kudos, Robyn. It can be difficult to part with things, but living with intention is always worth it. Wishing you all the best in your refreshed home! 🙂

  3. Impressive R, this is a sea change in you. I sense it’s been bubbling under for a while. Go with it, take risks, learn new things, live the life you want to live.
    I have very few things that have an emotional hold on me. All of that heart stuff went years ago ~ that can happen when guys get divorced.
    Much Love R. 💖🌹💖

  4. This post was helpful. I need to start the purging, some things I will let go easily, others not right away. I have started. I am discovering how little things are meaningful. I keep my Grandpa’s little penknife on my keychain and I like seeing it plus it’s useful.

  5. debscarey

    Himself is a true minimalist – except for his camera-related stuff. I’m far from a pack rat, but I have a fair bit of stuff, despite having downsized on a regular basis for the past 5-ish years. I’ve tried to be very aware of my habits around stuff as my mother is a long-time clutter bug. I am holding onto some stuff which hasn’t been used in a while. I know that I’m holding on for I want to get back to that lifestyle when I did use it regularly, and am not ready to accept that time won’t come again. In truth, if it all went up in smoke, there’s only a few things that would cause tears, so ..

    • Love the phrase clutter bug! It’s like ‘pack rat light’ 😉
      My husband is a bit of a clutter bug, so we are working of late to find that balance.
      It’s hard when you’re holding onto things from that lifestyle perspective. You have intention to participate in that lifestyle, but regular life kind of gets in the way…
      Of course, this is the actual lifestyle and those things are no longer of use. Only it takes time to understand that.
      And there are some things you just choose not to part with and that’s nobody’s business but your own, right?
      I hear you about everything going up in smoke…I think of what I’d be willing to risk life an limb for and I’m coming up with precious little.
      I’m not sure I want to embrace straight up minimalism, but I’m loving the way it feels to curate in a mindful way! ❤

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